winterwolf
New Member
Hello, my name is Winter Wolf, and this is my story and some thoughts about Porn-Induced ED.
I started masturbating when I was 12, I think. Right now I'm 30. I never realised the damage I was causing to my mind and my body until it was too late.
My sexual life began fairly late. I was 24. I didn't know what ED was, I mean... I knew it existed but I regarded it as a thing that happen to old people for natural reasons. The first times I had sex it was great. Eventhough I had masturbated to porn for over a decade, I had sex just fine. No premature ejaculation, no signs of ED, it was amazing. Now that I think about it, I now realize that my problem has always been psychological. I had sex with my girlfriend for a period of 30 days, and I had probably one or two incidents. I was shocked. Who wouldn't be? It just happened, I wasn't anxious or anything, I never saw it coming, so, it wasn't about fear of not being mentally there, and yet, it happened. I now know why. My mind was bored and hungry of "variety". The "novelty" of my first time was over. My mind was bored and hungry of "the good stuff", the lesbian action, the black and white lesbians, the asians, the threesomes, the interracial, the orgasms, the compilations of orgasms, the teen sex, you name it...
Of course I wasn't aware of that. From my point of view it was something "temporary", and not a big deal. Next time would be different. But as we all know, all it takes is one time, one failure for the fear to be born. As hard as I tried to convince myself that everything was alright, the fear grew slowly and silently. The next few time I had sex over a period of one month, my failure rate increased by another 10%. Two out of ten times that I had sex it "wouldn't work". Keep in mind I was going at it condomless.
The next few times I had sex I was prepared, I started taking a pill of Cialis a few hours before having sex. My problems disappeared for about two weeks. I thought to myself that... whatever I had, I could deal with it some other time. The next month that I kept having sex with my girl, my failure rate increased to a total of 50%.
When that happened to me my world fell apart. The fear took over and I avoided sex like the plague. I had some tests done to check my testosterone levels and other stupid analysis. The results came perfectly fine. I was desperate, I didn't know what to do. Needless to say, my next sexual encounters were a complete disaster. I started looking for things that helped me understand what was happening to me. Keep in mind that I kept masturbating until very recently. When I found this site I started making the conections, everything made sense. Everything. This is what I found so far, I hope it helps, I hope it open your eyes, as it did with me.
1.-Most people masturbate with their bare hand and porn. The speed, the texture, the pressure, nothing like a real vagina. Not even close. If we add the fact that we don't move but the hand does all the work, we have the perfect recipe to totally fuck up our mind and, as a result, our penis. Fifteen years of teaching our body to react sexually to certain stimuli, at a certain speed, angle, roughness of the hand, etcetera. Nobody wants to masturbate for 30 minutes. What does that tell you? That we want to get the quick fix as soon as possible, while we watch other people having sex. Of course you will lose the erection in fucking seconds, you have taught that to your body for several years. Not to mention the fact that when we don't live alone we have to be very careful and live with the extra pressure of getting caught, that adds to the problem of losing the erection in a matter of seconds. The body is wise, it remembers what you teach it.
2.-The ammount of variety that porns offers is almost unlimited. The ammount of variety that you can get as a regular guy is NOTHING compared to that. This is especially true of you are in a commited relationship. What did you think it was going to happen after the first times you had sex with a girl (or a new girl)? The brain was like... "That is definitely a woman, has boobs, has a vagina, but the vagina doesn't feel anything like the vaginas of the other women we have fucked before". Of course not... because it was a fucking hand! For the past 15 years!
3.-The previous paragraph definitely adds to the problem but... the psychological vicious cycle that you have created in your mind represents 90% of the problem. You can't keep up with the demands of your brain in terms of variety. Especially if you want to be loyal to ONE woman.
4.-You are especially fucked if you started your sexual life later than most and today you still have very little or no sexual activity. If you want to rewire your brain to the normal stuff you will have to have sex in a normal fucking way, as often as possible. But... before that, you need to give up porn AND masturbation. DO NOT LET ANYONE masturbate you in any fashion, no "blowjobs to get hard", nothing that is not the natural way. Keep in mind that this will take several months. This will NOT be easy, don't be stupid. Sex is THE ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE, an orgasm is one of the most powerful drugs in the world. You are an addict, and you have to see yourself as an addict. The dependance that you have created during all these years will come and hunt you. DO NOT FALL FOR THE "EASY FIX"... "THE QUICK FIX". You are literally screwing yourself with a fist covered with amazonian ants.
5.-When you have been clean for at least three months of not watching porn or anything erotic, and obviously not masturbated AT ALL, then, if there is a girl you like, EXPLAIN HER. You must confess that you are sick, she has to know that you are broken, but that you are willing to get out of the mess you got yourself into. If you are already in a relationship, clean or not clean, CONFESS. Especially if you love her. The ammount of pressure that you will take off your shoulders will be HUGE. Do not go like a fucking monk and stop masturbating and watching porn without looking for a source to reconnect the wires that you messed up.
6.-Meditate, meditate a lot. This is somthing that I can't emphasise enough. Just... ask yourself this question. Where do you go when you are afraid or anxious, yeah, I'm talking about when all you need it to do is to "put it in". Where? I'll tell you where, you fucking run away to your mind, you start to overthinking, you freakout, you imagine the worst case scenarios in your mind within seconds. Don't worry, we all do that. The moment you stop being "there", you are screwed. Meditation helps you to stay in the moment, to enjoy, to be slow, YOU CAN ACTUALLY TAKE IT EASY!!! Yes, yes, I know. Your penis likes it fast and furious, DRY AND TIGHT AS HELL, and the moment you stop stimulating it, you lose it. Well, guess what? You can actually enjoy the moment and do it slowly.
Final thoughts:
1.-Stop and never look back, masturbation and pornography are not evil, but they can destroy your sexual psychology. They already did.
2.-Meditate, meditate a lot, but more than a lot, meditate every day, ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes at night. Is not about the ammount of time of each session, but about how constant you are.
3.-Confess, talk, explain, it is real, we are sick, and we need help. Find yourself a woman to reconnect, it is possible. She has to know what to expect. Some will laugh, some will see you as a freak or a pervert, do not be afraid, you will be healed. There is hope.
4.-Read "The sex god method" By Daniel Rose, you can get the PDF for free, just Google it.
5.-If you can provide a woman with amazing sex, she will associate you with happiness, with well-being, with love, with loyalty. After all, sex is the ultimate experience. If you can fuck a woman or make love to a woman like no one else, you are a god among mortals. Only REALLY, REALLY, loaded guys will be able to beat you, but that is an artificial victory, money does talk, but is not the only power here. The path to glory is there for you to take it.
Is this working for me? Yes. It is. But I'm far from being normal. My healing process will take a while. But I will NOT GIVE UP. And I will certainly not going back to the path of fucking shame.
I started masturbating when I was 12, I think. Right now I'm 30. I never realised the damage I was causing to my mind and my body until it was too late.
My sexual life began fairly late. I was 24. I didn't know what ED was, I mean... I knew it existed but I regarded it as a thing that happen to old people for natural reasons. The first times I had sex it was great. Eventhough I had masturbated to porn for over a decade, I had sex just fine. No premature ejaculation, no signs of ED, it was amazing. Now that I think about it, I now realize that my problem has always been psychological. I had sex with my girlfriend for a period of 30 days, and I had probably one or two incidents. I was shocked. Who wouldn't be? It just happened, I wasn't anxious or anything, I never saw it coming, so, it wasn't about fear of not being mentally there, and yet, it happened. I now know why. My mind was bored and hungry of "variety". The "novelty" of my first time was over. My mind was bored and hungry of "the good stuff", the lesbian action, the black and white lesbians, the asians, the threesomes, the interracial, the orgasms, the compilations of orgasms, the teen sex, you name it...
Of course I wasn't aware of that. From my point of view it was something "temporary", and not a big deal. Next time would be different. But as we all know, all it takes is one time, one failure for the fear to be born. As hard as I tried to convince myself that everything was alright, the fear grew slowly and silently. The next few time I had sex over a period of one month, my failure rate increased by another 10%. Two out of ten times that I had sex it "wouldn't work". Keep in mind I was going at it condomless.
The next few times I had sex I was prepared, I started taking a pill of Cialis a few hours before having sex. My problems disappeared for about two weeks. I thought to myself that... whatever I had, I could deal with it some other time. The next month that I kept having sex with my girl, my failure rate increased to a total of 50%.
When that happened to me my world fell apart. The fear took over and I avoided sex like the plague. I had some tests done to check my testosterone levels and other stupid analysis. The results came perfectly fine. I was desperate, I didn't know what to do. Needless to say, my next sexual encounters were a complete disaster. I started looking for things that helped me understand what was happening to me. Keep in mind that I kept masturbating until very recently. When I found this site I started making the conections, everything made sense. Everything. This is what I found so far, I hope it helps, I hope it open your eyes, as it did with me.
1.-Most people masturbate with their bare hand and porn. The speed, the texture, the pressure, nothing like a real vagina. Not even close. If we add the fact that we don't move but the hand does all the work, we have the perfect recipe to totally fuck up our mind and, as a result, our penis. Fifteen years of teaching our body to react sexually to certain stimuli, at a certain speed, angle, roughness of the hand, etcetera. Nobody wants to masturbate for 30 minutes. What does that tell you? That we want to get the quick fix as soon as possible, while we watch other people having sex. Of course you will lose the erection in fucking seconds, you have taught that to your body for several years. Not to mention the fact that when we don't live alone we have to be very careful and live with the extra pressure of getting caught, that adds to the problem of losing the erection in a matter of seconds. The body is wise, it remembers what you teach it.
2.-The ammount of variety that porns offers is almost unlimited. The ammount of variety that you can get as a regular guy is NOTHING compared to that. This is especially true of you are in a commited relationship. What did you think it was going to happen after the first times you had sex with a girl (or a new girl)? The brain was like... "That is definitely a woman, has boobs, has a vagina, but the vagina doesn't feel anything like the vaginas of the other women we have fucked before". Of course not... because it was a fucking hand! For the past 15 years!
3.-The previous paragraph definitely adds to the problem but... the psychological vicious cycle that you have created in your mind represents 90% of the problem. You can't keep up with the demands of your brain in terms of variety. Especially if you want to be loyal to ONE woman.
4.-You are especially fucked if you started your sexual life later than most and today you still have very little or no sexual activity. If you want to rewire your brain to the normal stuff you will have to have sex in a normal fucking way, as often as possible. But... before that, you need to give up porn AND masturbation. DO NOT LET ANYONE masturbate you in any fashion, no "blowjobs to get hard", nothing that is not the natural way. Keep in mind that this will take several months. This will NOT be easy, don't be stupid. Sex is THE ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE, an orgasm is one of the most powerful drugs in the world. You are an addict, and you have to see yourself as an addict. The dependance that you have created during all these years will come and hunt you. DO NOT FALL FOR THE "EASY FIX"... "THE QUICK FIX". You are literally screwing yourself with a fist covered with amazonian ants.
5.-When you have been clean for at least three months of not watching porn or anything erotic, and obviously not masturbated AT ALL, then, if there is a girl you like, EXPLAIN HER. You must confess that you are sick, she has to know that you are broken, but that you are willing to get out of the mess you got yourself into. If you are already in a relationship, clean or not clean, CONFESS. Especially if you love her. The ammount of pressure that you will take off your shoulders will be HUGE. Do not go like a fucking monk and stop masturbating and watching porn without looking for a source to reconnect the wires that you messed up.
6.-Meditate, meditate a lot. This is somthing that I can't emphasise enough. Just... ask yourself this question. Where do you go when you are afraid or anxious, yeah, I'm talking about when all you need it to do is to "put it in". Where? I'll tell you where, you fucking run away to your mind, you start to overthinking, you freakout, you imagine the worst case scenarios in your mind within seconds. Don't worry, we all do that. The moment you stop being "there", you are screwed. Meditation helps you to stay in the moment, to enjoy, to be slow, YOU CAN ACTUALLY TAKE IT EASY!!! Yes, yes, I know. Your penis likes it fast and furious, DRY AND TIGHT AS HELL, and the moment you stop stimulating it, you lose it. Well, guess what? You can actually enjoy the moment and do it slowly.
Final thoughts:
1.-Stop and never look back, masturbation and pornography are not evil, but they can destroy your sexual psychology. They already did.
2.-Meditate, meditate a lot, but more than a lot, meditate every day, ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes at night. Is not about the ammount of time of each session, but about how constant you are.
3.-Confess, talk, explain, it is real, we are sick, and we need help. Find yourself a woman to reconnect, it is possible. She has to know what to expect. Some will laugh, some will see you as a freak or a pervert, do not be afraid, you will be healed. There is hope.
4.-Read "The sex god method" By Daniel Rose, you can get the PDF for free, just Google it.
5.-If you can provide a woman with amazing sex, she will associate you with happiness, with well-being, with love, with loyalty. After all, sex is the ultimate experience. If you can fuck a woman or make love to a woman like no one else, you are a god among mortals. Only REALLY, REALLY, loaded guys will be able to beat you, but that is an artificial victory, money does talk, but is not the only power here. The path to glory is there for you to take it.
Is this working for me? Yes. It is. But I'm far from being normal. My healing process will take a while. But I will NOT GIVE UP. And I will certainly not going back to the path of fucking shame.