is this an improvement?

[lfelipe]

i?ve been on a flatline for about a week; my libido was down but never realy went away completely i just couldn?t get hard but last night when i went to bed i was thinking about this girl that i?ve had sex with many times and i had an erection and the same thing this morning again by thinking and remembering our times together!! i completely stopped with mastubation and i have no interest in watching porn!! but i?ve been catching myself thinking about this girl that had sex with!! is this good?

 

[Numez]

its not productive for reboot to think about sex because it will more frequently result in relapse than in actually taking some action and going after genuine connection with some girl. its more easily available, its instant, its no risk high reward scenario... nothing like really going after sex and as a porn addict you are taking a risk every time you go that way in your thinking/fantasizing.

yeah its probably alright if you are reacting to thoughts but im not sure... im sure though that its better if you avoid thinking about it at all.

 

[lfelipe]

i?m sorry Nikola i didn?t explain well!! i?m talking about real sex, with real women!!this girl that i mentioned, i?ll will get the chance to be with her at the end of the month and we usually have sex when she is in town so to me those erections are a good sigh because they are directed at her; a real girl!! even though she is not my girlfriend we get along and we have intimacy!! so i believe in that case those are good signs!!

 

[Numez]

i know what you are talking about. porn stars are real girls too. its not whether or not girls are real, its the artificial stimulation. its not real connection, its totally opposite of the real thing. when you are fantasizing or remembering sex, you are not actually having a connection with someone. that is the problem.

thinking about sex is very counter productive during reboot. it will always push you more in the no risk high reward scenario than to actually pursue girls outside of your head. it will make the reboot more difficult.

 

[lfelipe]

Nikola i disagree with you!! porn stars are real girls too but what we see them doing on screen it is not real so we relate to the situation not the girl and that is the problem!! and again i?m not talking about porn or porn stars i?m talking about a real girl with who i have a relationship with!!! and to me to think about her and to think about been with her makes me feel great!!! i don?t even think about porn or pornstars!! a sack of bricks is only heavy while you are carrying it!! let go!! don?t let your mind get stuck on the addiction thing!! that is not good either!!

 

[Numez]

porn stars are real girls too but what we see them doing on screen it is not real

its real unless you are into cartoons. when you think about sex, what you think is just thoughts, its not real. its just the memory like the memory of the last porn you watched.

i?m talking about a real girl with who i have a relationship with!!! and to me to think about her and to think about been with her makes me feel great!!!

great then think about her. dont think about sex, dont get aroused by thoughts. when you do that you are engaging in porn type of activity (lonely, isolated, no real connection, no rewiring, no risk of rejection, easily available etc.). that is the problem, you can think about girls just dont try to get your dick hard by doing that. if it makes you feel good it does not mean that it is good. why you think you keep coming back to porn, because it feels bad?

 

[lfelipe]

i see what you mean!! but don?t worry i have no interest in going back to porn;