Humble Rich: Getting Back to Health

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PE30

Well-Known Member
Rich, I've been really pleased to see your progress and so it was a bit sad to see that you've relapsed. I hope you're able to pick yourself up. I've got some advice for you but ultimately this is your journey.

My observation is this: you were always going to relapse from the moment that you decided that masturbation was going to form part of your reboot. I think that masturbation is probably too closely tied up with pornography for you to be able to use it as an outlet for your sexual energy. It's like this: I've never had a gambling habit, so when I go into an arcade at the seaside with my kids, I'll happily spend ?1 trying to win them a cuddly toy from one of the machines. But if I don't win, I'll walk away, no harm done. If I was a gambling addict, settling foot in an arcade would probably leave me ?200 poorer.

I have failed in a similar fashion. The last time I failed, I convinced myself that I could go on a chat site and chat cleanly. A week later I was fully relapsed.

Like I said, it's just advice, take it or leave it. But I think sometimes it's worth foregoing one pleasure for the sake of avoiding temptation. I hope you're able to get started again.
 
bob

bob

Respected Member
PE30 said:
I have failed in a similar fashion. The last time I failed, I convinced myself that I could go on a chat site and chat cleanly. A week later I was fully relapsed.
Click to expand...

Its happened to me too. M, just this once; well once again. Check out that jiggle. Aren't there YouTube videos... Boom.

That's the way I have failed in the past. It wasn't all at once but when I slipped, I typically fell flat on my ass. Don't do it!

Peace
 
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HumbleRich

Guest
I?m feeling a lot better.  The negative stuff has left.  It comes and goes.  I must ha e some insecurities that need to be sorted out.  Will work on doing that, but I need to be clean.  I will work on getting back on the tracks.

Rich
 
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HumbleRich

Guest
Famous last words.  I just PMO'ed.  I am disgusted by myself and my lack of self control.  It was on my smartphone (which I have yet to make user safe).  That is it.  No more bringing my phone to the bathroom.  At all. 

Rich
 
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Andi

Member
Rich. I did not read your full journal so sorry if I ask stupid questions.

Do you work out? No matter your shape and no matter how lazy you think you are: you have to do it. Start slowly, a little running, a little lifting and then get up more and more. When your body reached a basic state of fitness it will not be so hard to do sports. You will even look forward to it. Its good for your mental and physical health. You cant overestimate the effects of regular sport, even if its just a little.

Do you live alone? In both cases. Give yourself clear rules about the computer and the smartphone. I started to put the smartphone away when I am coming home. No message is so important that it can not wait until the next day at work. And I tell you its so beautiful to not have a smartphone in the bedroom. It makes you a braindead zombie and for addicts like us its too much of a temptation. Buy yourself a normal alarm clock and beside that: read books! Or magazines or listen to music! It will bring your mind to different and more creative places and you will fall a sleep more relaxed. We have created a monster with this new technology that is making us sick. Use it wisely.

Please try it.
 
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HumbleRich

Guest
Hello all,

I am going to take a step back for the next two  weeks and look at the big picture.  I have  tried a bunch of new things and some of them have caught on, but I have been at odds with a lot of the suggestions provided throughout the forum.  I have started checking this forum very habitually and I would like to take some time to figure up from down.  I honestly may masturbate a bit, or I may not do that much at all.  I may even check out some porn.  What I do know is that I need some space to figure out everything going on.  I won't be checking this thread during this time.  Thanks.

Rich
 
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HumbleRich

Guest
I'm lost at the moment.  On the one hand, I have lasted less than a week (into my alleged two week hiatus) before falling back into porn.  I just acted out and the anxiety is back.  Immense anxiety that I haven't had in a long time, even since I began here.  Social anxiety.  I was supposed to be writing a resume and I got anxiety just from doing that.  The anxiety is back.  On the other hand, when ex or anti Nofappers say that it is all the placebo effect I have no reply.  I can't prove it isn't.  Also, I was led to believe, through what I read here, that I had ED when I was having problems getting it up in the bedroom with tbe wife, when I didn't.  That false alarm gave my wife anxiety.  I'm not sURE what to believe.  All I know is that when I was doing NoFap the anxiety just disappeared. 

My wife said she wants to start trying to have a baby again.  She just had her time of  the month yesterday. 

I want to get rid of the anxiety, but I don't understand how PMO causes it.  I'm in above my bead here. 

Rich
 
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HumbleRich

Guest
I have to do something, so this is  what I am going to do (I am sorry if this doesn't follow protocol, but I feel the need for a balanced plan)

Absolutely no porn or erotic material.
No compulsive masturbation (ie, feeling forced to masturbate, or masturbating impulsively)
If I have  a heavy dick and it feels like I am full, I will allow myself to masturbate to release.
Otherwise I will make love to my wife when appropriate and allow that to be my release.

This seems like a balanced, achievable plan.

Rich
 
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HumbleRich

Guest
Symptoms after this last slip:

Bad brain fog: I sat down during my break between classes to review the math I studied last night.  I completely blanked out on how to do it!  Recall is usually not a problem at all for me.  I guess I win?t Be studying at all this afternoon and evening...  Besides not being able to recall stuff from yesterday, I can?t focus on anything at all.  Worse than my normal, typical ADHD (which I was born with).  Besides, I take vitamins for that and they work well.

Spontaneous anxiety: both social and related to tasks. 

From now on this reboot is about what is best for me and my brain.

Thanks,

Rich

 
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HumbleRich

Guest
I've changed my mind.  I am intrigued by what everyone is saying about No Fap/No PMO.  I am going to do 90 days.  On top of that, I am going to really try hard  to quit surplus sugar, meditating every day, and getting rid of prodlcrastination. 

I am ready for real change.

Rich
 
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