Heathertheweather
Member
I found out a couple of weeks ago (because I can across my husbands porn stash by accident and then challenged him) that hf has been adicted to porn (he admitted it the next day after denying it). What I have seen so far is nothing violent but certainly beyond 1 on 1 and what we have done. I am still not sure this is the full extent of it but may never know.
E says it started when our sex life dropped off about 5 years after marriage this feels like he is blaming me but.... I have always had a niggling feeling I am not enough and the a diction has kind of been a light bulb moment although I could be wrong. For example...His dad said to me early on I our relationship that he was glad he had stopped chasing those unattainable perfect girls and had found me. I half laughed, was half insulted but moved past it. Another thing was his mum and dad had a very disfunctional relationship ansplit when he was early 30s and has father remarried a woman (his student) the same age as me. He was always very close to his mum and left his student pad to live with his mum after his dad split. He also said when his mum ( very sadly) passed away that life was not worth living without her ( even a few years later and we were married about 4 years and together for 10 at that point) it seemed like I was not enough. In addition he was a very late starter with sex 24. When we got together we initially had quite a bit of sex but it was never quick and frequently he did not climax at all and would want th change positions constantly never seeming satisfied.
I think there is more to the problem than our post marriage sex tail off (this was about 10 years after we first git together). I think maybe it was not an a diction but there were some unhealthy habits going on before that. I just want to get to the bottom of it otherwise we will never get through this but I dont think he wants to look at his past or upbringing and can't see past our sex life as the problem. Thoughts?
E says it started when our sex life dropped off about 5 years after marriage this feels like he is blaming me but.... I have always had a niggling feeling I am not enough and the a diction has kind of been a light bulb moment although I could be wrong. For example...His dad said to me early on I our relationship that he was glad he had stopped chasing those unattainable perfect girls and had found me. I half laughed, was half insulted but moved past it. Another thing was his mum and dad had a very disfunctional relationship ansplit when he was early 30s and has father remarried a woman (his student) the same age as me. He was always very close to his mum and left his student pad to live with his mum after his dad split. He also said when his mum ( very sadly) passed away that life was not worth living without her ( even a few years later and we were married about 4 years and together for 10 at that point) it seemed like I was not enough. In addition he was a very late starter with sex 24. When we got together we initially had quite a bit of sex but it was never quick and frequently he did not climax at all and would want th change positions constantly never seeming satisfied.
I think there is more to the problem than our post marriage sex tail off (this was about 10 years after we first git together). I think maybe it was not an a diction but there were some unhealthy habits going on before that. I just want to get to the bottom of it otherwise we will never get through this but I dont think he wants to look at his past or upbringing and can't see past our sex life as the problem. Thoughts?