CONTENT WARNING: Worst searches you did

Well I've searched practically everything LEGAL and there are something's that downright never interested me and things that don't interest me anymore. But, I have a problem with TS  pornography and have ever since 16/17 (23). I don't even like male genitalia, I find It horrible. It's the Anal side of things I have a problem with, its to explicit to explain, let's just say i watch them like women. But I never used to watch this shit and i've acted out on it at times and it just dosen't feel right whatsoever and i find myself feeling downright horrible when I'm stressing over what I've done.
I knew I had a problem with porn way before I escalated to this shit. I have betrayed myself and broke morals. I now attend SAA meetings. Never in a million years could I ever have imagined me being in the current position I am in when I started porn at 11. Outside of the porn developed anal fetish, I find nothing about them attractive (no disrespect if theirs any trans members on this site).