Rebooters: what are you now doing with your spare time?

[PE30]

Hi all

I'm on day 23 of my latest reboot (after having got myself dragged back in after a 150+ day streak). I've deactivated Twitter, I don't post on Facebook other than as an admin for a social group, I've quit the music forum I used to post in. All of which because they were acting as replacement behaviours.

I'm struggling with my mental health this reboot- feel depressed, panicky, sometimes tearful, as a result of the damage I know I've caused people. But I feel like I'm achieving something through the pain.

I guess my question is this: if, like me, you sometimes lost hours a day to your addiction, what do you now do with your time? How do you stop yourself from getting bored and restless? How do you readjust your mind? I feel like I've programmed my brain to expect near constant stimulation, but 'clean' life isn't like that.

Any tips or advice would be useful. Thanks!

 

[HumbleRich]

I find that I really do not have all that much free time available.  I force myself to read the books I read for fun on the commute to and from work, as well as in between breaks between classes, so that is my consistent hobby.  I work out during my lunch break.  I study for my upcoming teaching exams for an hour each night, and once that is over I spend the rest of my night hanging out with my wife.  I do not bring my devices with me to the bathroom (bathroom experience pre-2000.)  Once it cools down outside I will start hiking again in the mornings on weekends.  The rest of the weekend is, again, spent with my wife.  So, personally I find that my days are stock full.  They will only get busier because my wife and I are moving in April.

Sorry for going on about myself, but I thought it would be helpful to provide my own experience as an example.

Rediscover your hobbies before the dawn of the Internet.  Reconnect with your significant other and start spending more time with her.  Regroup with friends. 

Hope this helps.

Rich

 

[doneatlast]

I am not sure if there are any new activities that are 100% direct replacements for porn.  The less good ones are that I'm something of a news/youtube junkie at this point.  It somehow satisfies my clicking compulsions.  The bonus is it isn't nearly as damaging as porn, and it is often mildly educational.  Still, a habit I'd rather not have.  Figuring out how to reduce internet time that I deem negative while retaining the positive stuff (or at least enough to be a functioning member of society) has been tricky.

The better ones are that I am getting a lot more reading done, and my spiritual/religious pursuits have improved greatly.  I spend a lot of time in meditation/prayer, at least an hour a day most days.  I rely on it.  You could say I'm "addicted", though only in the loosest sense. 

On those lines, journaling has helped a lot.  Meditation can be like dreams... you get something very vivid, but it can be hard to recall later on.  Writing is good.  If you're struggling with things like guilt and loathing, perhaps some writing would help. 

Another one is that I often go to bed earlier than I did before.  So, if I am tired and strung out from the day, instead of "unwinding" with porn, I just go to bed.  This is of varying success as my coffee intake during the day has gotten quite high (not connected to rebooting as best as I can tell).  This can be a catch 22, since many rebooters (including me for a time) rely on pmo to put them to sleep, but it can be a good thing to set your targets on.  Good sleep can do a lot to calm nerves.

 

[Fappy]

One of the great things about rebooting is that you no longer feel like you have spare time! Time that was wasted by slapping your cock to dirty women online is now spent doing things you enjoy! Well, for me at least.
Now I have so much time for my interests and hobbies. Life really opens up after a reboot

 

[LeHso]

Training, Gaming, Reading, Work for Future, Hanging out with friends (used to say no before)

 

[AlexthenotsoGreat]

I've been having the same issue. Now that I don't watch porn, it leaves a gap that can be hard to fill with less super-stimulating things. I'd say use your time well rather than focus on how much time you need to fill. When you feel relaxed, read a book. If you don't feel relaxed, just go somewhere, anywhere, to get the excess energy out. Maybe take a longer drive or commute somewhere just to have a change of scenery so that you can get your mind off it. If it's ever really bad, find someone you've agreed with that you can call when you're struggling. The biggest fight for me is to just accept that it will take time and you will have times when you feel lost and empty and that is okay. Just staying away from porn is a sad way to live. Be honest with yourself and don't beat yourself up if people comment that you seem distracted or absent-minded because of withdrawal symptoms. I pray and it helps me. I don't even think you have to believe in prayer for it to help, because the very idea that some greater power is looking out for you can be a comfort. You don't have to agree but that's what has helped me the most.