Damn right, you must! Btw, reading escort pages is porn - it does exactly the same thing to your brain, big dopamine hit. You need to consider it to be the same so that you aren't kidding yourself about it being less harmful that porn videos. And writing to exes, geez, sorry man, but that's a form of cheating on your girlfriend. If you value loyalty and faithfulness, and you require it from her, you gotta stop that shit right now.Andi said:
Porn, I hate you for what you did to me
- Thread starter Andi
- Start date
Fappy
Respected Member
Looking at escort ads gives you a dopamine hit and is therefore extremely dangerous to your reboot. Just reflect on the fact that these escorts are filthy, broken, used up, STD peddlars with no value as human beings ( a lot of them are probably junkies, too). Thinking like this will take away any desire you may have for them, or even to look at them! So next time if you find yourself thinking about looking up escort ads, just remember who these women are and I gurantee the desire will cease instantly.
I don't think you need to dehumanise them in this way. They are still people with feelings. You just have to stop thinking about visiting them! Making them into disgusting, filthy, broken etc is the kind of way that porn encourages men to think about women - disposable and useless for anything except fucking. Now you are proposing to think of escorts as one step worse. Sorry, I just don't think this is the sort of rewiring the brain needs. A porn addict should practice empathy for other people - especially women. We shouldn't resort to these cheap mind tricks to avoid temptation. If it helps to imagine that an escort probably hates her job and finds her customers disgusting, well I have no problem with that. It's probably true.Reformed Fapper said:
Hello Bob, Reformed Fapper and especially Malando,
thanks for your feedback and the discussion. I agree with all of you and especially Malando.
I have to say that I was many times unfaithful in my life. I had this approach, "it is my body and I do not belong to anyone, even though we might love each other". I think porn made an addict of me that thought he could live like a "porn star", always searching for an opportunity to copulate. Thinking "this is THE lifestyle".
I fact, when I look at the last ten years, porn did the excact opposite to me, was extremely sex negative, made me in the end very depressed and lonely and the only sex I had was with my hand. So...rationally I know all of this.
When this happened yesterday it was like a heroin junkie getting some methadone. I could feel how my body was shaking and I had a weird feeling in my head and my guts.
When I was getting some strengh back two weeks ago and I felt...this rebooting is working, I already thought about the great sex I would have and I mean...not only with my gf.
That shit really has to stop. I am happy with her and I own a lot to her. Without her I would be much worse. And I hurt enough people in my life.
I assume, that all of this is part of the healing process, like an alcoholic still longing for a night of binge drinking, although he know rationally, that this can not be part of his life anymore.
I feel that this can work. I can get my libido back. And then I should just enjoy being a healthy and faithful MAN and be happy with what I have, which is a lot.
Now to something more positive:
Yesterday, pretty much unexpected, we had sex again and it was very good. She is really happy about it. She can feel that I am different, stronger, more passionate and it makes me SOOOO happy to see her being all smiles. And I can feel how she feels attractive and wanted. Wow! Its so nice to give someone such a good feeling, and of course I also feel good, because I finally can enjoy sex again.
Another thing:
I was not sure if this is just my imagination, so I waited a bit. But I feel a change in my emotional being. Music is very important to me and for the last couple of years I got so bored of my records, bored of new music. I have the feeling my passion for music is coming back and I can feel emotions that I thought would long be gone.
To fight this drug has so many benefits! I feel amazing this morning.
And Malando...I will really try to listen to you. Because I know you are right.
Thank you all, its really helpfull. And this whole thing is very real. I feel in good hands here.
thanks for your feedback and the discussion. I agree with all of you and especially Malando.
I have to say that I was many times unfaithful in my life. I had this approach, "it is my body and I do not belong to anyone, even though we might love each other". I think porn made an addict of me that thought he could live like a "porn star", always searching for an opportunity to copulate. Thinking "this is THE lifestyle".
I fact, when I look at the last ten years, porn did the excact opposite to me, was extremely sex negative, made me in the end very depressed and lonely and the only sex I had was with my hand. So...rationally I know all of this.
When this happened yesterday it was like a heroin junkie getting some methadone. I could feel how my body was shaking and I had a weird feeling in my head and my guts.
When I was getting some strengh back two weeks ago and I felt...this rebooting is working, I already thought about the great sex I would have and I mean...not only with my gf.
That shit really has to stop. I am happy with her and I own a lot to her. Without her I would be much worse. And I hurt enough people in my life.
I assume, that all of this is part of the healing process, like an alcoholic still longing for a night of binge drinking, although he know rationally, that this can not be part of his life anymore.
I feel that this can work. I can get my libido back. And then I should just enjoy being a healthy and faithful MAN and be happy with what I have, which is a lot.
Now to something more positive:
Yesterday, pretty much unexpected, we had sex again and it was very good. She is really happy about it. She can feel that I am different, stronger, more passionate and it makes me SOOOO happy to see her being all smiles. And I can feel how she feels attractive and wanted. Wow! Its so nice to give someone such a good feeling, and of course I also feel good, because I finally can enjoy sex again.
Another thing:
I was not sure if this is just my imagination, so I waited a bit. But I feel a change in my emotional being. Music is very important to me and for the last couple of years I got so bored of my records, bored of new music. I have the feeling my passion for music is coming back and I can feel emotions that I thought would long be gone.
To fight this drug has so many benefits! I feel amazing this morning.
And Malando...I will really try to listen to you. Because I know you are right.
Thank you all, its really helpfull. And this whole thing is very real. I feel in good hands here.
imaquitter
Active Member
I have disabled Chrome on my phone and installed SPIN browser (https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.nationaledtech.spinbrowser)
imaquitter
Active Member
How is life Andi.
Hope you are doing good
Hope you are doing good
Hey,
I am sorry to say I was not so good. And I feel a bit ashamed, after I was SO convinced and also a bit arrogant, to say I had a relapse.
What happened?
I was on a work trip in Spain. Got a bit stressed and ended up m in the evening in the hotel room. Like aprox. 6 times in 3 evenings. No porn but substitutes. When I came back I had a fight with my gf. And when she worked saturday I had a binge on porn. First time wirthin excactly a month.
I am very disappointed with myself, because I was doing so good. The one month I stayed clean already gave me these HUGE benefits. And know I feel bad again. Weak. I dont desire my gf at the moment. Again.
There is an extra tension between her and me because we talk a lot about weather or not we want to have a child. We are both freaked out to make the wrong desicion. I am not sure if I am responsible enough to found a family...
Anyway. I will put the clock back and start again from zero. I know I can do it, cause I already did it and it made me feel like a compeltly healthy man, mentally and physically. I wanna go back there and I will.
But I know now definetly that I am still heavily addcited. I dont freak out about masturbation. This can and should happen once in a while, but the porn and the substitutes....the urge is still there. Especially after some weeks of being clean.
I will continue.
Thanks for asking about my case.
I am sorry to say I was not so good. And I feel a bit ashamed, after I was SO convinced and also a bit arrogant, to say I had a relapse.
What happened?
I was on a work trip in Spain. Got a bit stressed and ended up m in the evening in the hotel room. Like aprox. 6 times in 3 evenings. No porn but substitutes. When I came back I had a fight with my gf. And when she worked saturday I had a binge on porn. First time wirthin excactly a month.
I am very disappointed with myself, because I was doing so good. The one month I stayed clean already gave me these HUGE benefits. And know I feel bad again. Weak. I dont desire my gf at the moment. Again.
There is an extra tension between her and me because we talk a lot about weather or not we want to have a child. We are both freaked out to make the wrong desicion. I am not sure if I am responsible enough to found a family...
Anyway. I will put the clock back and start again from zero. I know I can do it, cause I already did it and it made me feel like a compeltly healthy man, mentally and physically. I wanna go back there and I will.
But I know now definetly that I am still heavily addcited. I dont freak out about masturbation. This can and should happen once in a while, but the porn and the substitutes....the urge is still there. Especially after some weeks of being clean.
I will continue.
Thanks for asking about my case.
Fappy
Respected Member
Hi Andi,
Dont be too hard on yourself. Everyone slips up at times. The important thing to do now is to identify what made you PMO. You mentioned an argument with your girlfriend was catalyst? In that case, the next time you have a fight with her, be extra vigilant as it could be a trigger for PMO.
Dont be too hard on yourself. Everyone slips up at times. The important thing to do now is to identify what made you PMO. You mentioned an argument with your girlfriend was catalyst? In that case, the next time you have a fight with her, be extra vigilant as it could be a trigger for PMO.