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This is just a bunch of quotes from rebooters I found about experiencing sex differently after giving up porn.
Sources: YBOP - Reddit.com/r/nofap - Nofap.com
[quote author=GabeDeem]I had a change of heart and sex became more about love, and less about lust.[/quote]
Sources: YBOP - Reddit.com/r/nofap - Nofap.com
I'm not even turned on by porn anymore. You could show me the hottest porn ever made and I would just laugh at it. Seriously. Same thing with all my fetishes and weird obsessions. Underwear, muscles, abs, arms, shirtless pics. Gone. Those things just don't turn me on anymore and it feels amazing. What turns me on these days: actual humans. People. Not computer screen images.
The videos are so disturbing and hardcore to me that I never ever want to see porn again. Fuck porn and everything close to it. I never even want to orgasm again unless I'm with a regular woman that I'm actually in love with. I don't want to have casual sex no more.
Early on in nofap, met an amazing girl. Am dating her now, sex is frequent. Once or twice a day (depends on schedule) and it's different too. I used to act like porn showed me. Now it's "vanilla" and "boring" but from mine and hers perspective it's amazing, emotional, and the best sex of our lives. It made me realize how much I was missing sex as an emotional connection as well as a physical connection of two people's bodies. Rather than just the physical like you see in porn.
I don't want to have sex with a stranger, no matter how beautiful, it would be meaningless, hollow and leave me with less happiness, not more.
[quote author=GabeDeem]I had a change of heart and sex became more about love, and less about lust.[/quote]
my erection now is based mainly on physical stimulation,intimacy and love, no bizarre fetishes anymore.
To be honest, at this point, all sexual fetishes that people have just look bizarre to me and doesn't matter. It's like my brain refuses to even think about it. They don't serve any other purpose but to feed your ego. In the past I would scrutinize every bit of info about anything perverted, now I just don't care. Anything beyond genuine intimacy with someone you really like is strange to me. So, yeah, give it enough time and you'll become like me.
I lost all my fetishes, right now.. the mere sight of a woman excites me. thinking back, It aint even a lot of time, but damn those were some disgusting things I used to watch.
Now as I have learned more about myself and this process, my 'fantasies' have become focused less on these crazy scenarios, and more on intimacy on an emotional and physical level. Now I fantasize about the feel of her skin, or her warm breath, or just a passionate kiss.
I too have noticed this. And I'm much more comfortable with these fantasies. I want to say they're more "innocent", I guess. But what I've also found is I find intimacy (skin contact, kissing, just being close to her), to be much greater of a turn on than fantasizing about some crazy sex act. It's much more realistic, but this intimacy you and I have detailed, I think, is far sexier and amazing to experience.
I was talking briefly with a fellow student and noticed she had absolutely gorgeous eyes. I never noticed those things while using porn. Also, I no longer fantasize about porn scenarios "starring" potential mates or women I know. I try not to fantasize, but when one creeps in, it's now all first-person, one-on-one, and nothing kinky or odd. Refreshing.
Now, almost 8 months after quitting porn, I'm finding that the fantasies I used to have don't appeal to me anymore...at all. I actually find myself feeling repulsed by the idea of them. It turns out, I didn't need healthier fantasies, I needed to quit porn. We live in a culture that encourages us to have fantasies, share them with our SO and even act them out together. But what I found is that my wife and I both enjoy sex much much more when there is no fantasy involved; just the two of us in the moment.
The binge wasn't as enjoyable as I expected. For the first time, being in the perspective of the voyeur felt wrong and kind of sickened me. It had always just felt normal to me since I'm a longtime user. This time, masturbating without any context/connection felt strange and perverted. I now can't imagine doing that in real life, just having a woman sit there emotionless opening up her holes in front of me. During the reboot I felt more attracted to women as a whole.
Now, I can imagine myself looking into a woman's eye at orgasm rather than focusing on her stretched holes in a detached way.
I love women for who they are, and I am attracted to feminine energy not weird fetishes.
Also suffered from escalaing sexual fantasies due to years of daily porn viewing. These fetishes have totally disappeared which is amazing.
Now after just 100 days I'm clean. I love women instead of lust them.
When you see porn on NoFap you realize how fucked up it is. Wanna be less perverted, start NoFap.
I fantasize about her in a way that would've left the old me completely bored and clicking furiously for new material
before starting nofap I fapped like twice a day on porn and my taste was constantly changing over the years. I went from normal porn>> lesbian porn>> rough porn>> bigfaketitsporn>> deeptroating>> slappedandbeatedaroundporn>> pissporn>>
scatporn>> shemaleporn>>>etc.etc.etc - or a combination off all above... I really was disgusted about most of this fetishes but I needed more and more shocking and surprising stuff to keep being aroused... so I stopped porn and started nofap
Didn't watch porn since last February and I can safely say I don't crave the fetishes anymore. It took me 4-months to get rid of my 'light' fetishes and 6 months to get totally rid of every unwanted fetish I developed. What I crave now? being with the girl I like. kiss her, hug her, and make sweet love with her.
When you are not masturbating to fetishes you stop reinforcing the connections and they weaken. Regular "vanilla" sex has become so much more amazing for me, that I no longer need fetishes.
For some reason something just clicked when I started having more sex (and abstaining from PMO of course) and the old fetishes disappeared. Something about having real sex that makes the weird fantasizes straight up disgusting.
Many people think about sexual fantasies when they have sex, so they are not really in the present moment when they are intimate with a partner. You are making up all kinds of sexual fantasies that mainly revolve around you and what you want for yourself without taking into account what your partner might like. Sex experienced in the body is present moment awareness, the unification with your partner without your mind indulging in other sexual fantasies.
Anyway, two nights ago when my wife and I got frisky, I made my first, real, genuine effort to focus only on HER and not allow any other women/images to enter into my mind. I also made sure to maintain eye contact with her the entire time (previously I had always closed my eyes since - and this sounds truly twisted I know - seeing my wife was a distraction from trying to playback the porn fantasies in my mind during sex).
The result of actually looking into my wife's eyes the entire time and making a real effort to emotionally connect with her was one of the most amazing sexual experiences we've ever had!
For the first time in my LIFE I felt emotionally connected to her during sex (the first time I've felt this with ANY woman while being intimate). During those moments, it actually felt like I was looking at her the same way I did back when we first started dating - like someone beautiful and otherworldly and transcendent and out-of-my-league who was allowing me into her own private space, created just for the two of us.
And this is something, what the most guys don't know here. Its sad but true. I found out what Intimate Sex is when i was 32 Years old. During my reboot. It is very different than horny sex. It is all about INTIMACY, about letting your self connect with the other person, about being in the present and not in the head, or in the fantasy. It is very strong powerful connection, and very satisfying.