Andyshealthyself
Member
Hey everyone,
New here as of today. I have tried many forums before and I have tried many reboots in the past. I am at my breaking point with this.
I have been Addicted to porn since I was 11-12...although I can remember masturbating as far back as preschool...yep. PRESCHOOL. I remember laying on the floor face down with my hands under my pelvis and rubbing myself, in front of everyone. The only thing I knew was that it felt good. I continued to do so throughout my childhood and didn't even realize what I was doing was a sexual process until i was probably 11 or 12 when we were learning about sex in school.
When I was 11 I got my first computer... and the rest was history. I have been watching porn ever since. I am always able to get off while watching it...but I have never been able to have someone else get me off. I didn't realize how big of an issue this was until a couple of years ago. I started seeing an old highschool friend. We have known each other since we were in middle school. We have always had this crazy chemistry with each other but throughout our lives we have always been on different paths... Finally a couple years ago she moved back home and we began a relationship and now we are engaged. She is a very sexual person and as soon as she found out I couldn't get off with a partner she began to question it and wonder about it. I hid my pornography use from her until very recently.
It has become very hard for me to stay aroused enough to pleasure her. Its as though I have lost all feeling in my dick. Oral Sex does nothing for me....I feel nothing during Penetration....Just pressure. When I am able to stay aroused enough during sex, I am unable to cum unless I do it myself. But th slightest touch from her distracts me from the goal....and it takes even longer. ITs miserable
It is starting to effect our relationship...Needs are not being met on my end...I can get her off no problem...but not with my dick. It is not fulfilling to her that she cant make me cum and shes starting to feel disconnected. This has been causing me a lot of anxiety and depression. A ton of insecurity along with that...Borderline suicidal thoughts. Thoughts of uselessness...thoughts of being a liar.....I cant live like this anymore.
I have been taking some very proactive steps in order to tackle this, and move forward with my own sexual healing. I hope to draw support from this forum.
Thanks for listening
New here as of today. I have tried many forums before and I have tried many reboots in the past. I am at my breaking point with this.
I have been Addicted to porn since I was 11-12...although I can remember masturbating as far back as preschool...yep. PRESCHOOL. I remember laying on the floor face down with my hands under my pelvis and rubbing myself, in front of everyone. The only thing I knew was that it felt good. I continued to do so throughout my childhood and didn't even realize what I was doing was a sexual process until i was probably 11 or 12 when we were learning about sex in school.
When I was 11 I got my first computer... and the rest was history. I have been watching porn ever since. I am always able to get off while watching it...but I have never been able to have someone else get me off. I didn't realize how big of an issue this was until a couple of years ago. I started seeing an old highschool friend. We have known each other since we were in middle school. We have always had this crazy chemistry with each other but throughout our lives we have always been on different paths... Finally a couple years ago she moved back home and we began a relationship and now we are engaged. She is a very sexual person and as soon as she found out I couldn't get off with a partner she began to question it and wonder about it. I hid my pornography use from her until very recently.
It has become very hard for me to stay aroused enough to pleasure her. Its as though I have lost all feeling in my dick. Oral Sex does nothing for me....I feel nothing during Penetration....Just pressure. When I am able to stay aroused enough during sex, I am unable to cum unless I do it myself. But th slightest touch from her distracts me from the goal....and it takes even longer. ITs miserable
It is starting to effect our relationship...Needs are not being met on my end...I can get her off no problem...but not with my dick. It is not fulfilling to her that she cant make me cum and shes starting to feel disconnected. This has been causing me a lot of anxiety and depression. A ton of insecurity along with that...Borderline suicidal thoughts. Thoughts of uselessness...thoughts of being a liar.....I cant live like this anymore.
I have been taking some very proactive steps in order to tackle this, and move forward with my own sexual healing. I hope to draw support from this forum.
Thanks for listening