doobedydoo
New Member
Hi ! This is my first post!
My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year. I've been aware of his addiction this entire time. Halfway through our relationship, he started seeing a counselor. Until today, we pretty much had a "don't ask don't tell" policy with his porn use.
I finally told my boyfriend that I need him to be completely honest about how and when and how often he uses porn with me which he took well.
However...
Things that were slightly disconcerting were:
-How do we put this boundary into place without it feeling like he has to report to me first thing every time we see each other? Is checking in once a week enough? I really don't want to feel like I'm punishing him or monitoring him.
-I want to be realistic, supportive and open-minded, but he alluded that his goal is not to never watch porn again, his goal is to be more ok with/accept his porn usage and only use it 3-4 times a week on certain days. My ideal relationship is that he attempts to never watch porn again so it doesn't get in the way of our sex life, but maybe things can evolve from here in a different way? Or am I deluding myself?
He told me the longest break he's taken is 2 weeks. Where do we go from here?
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year. I've been aware of his addiction this entire time. Halfway through our relationship, he started seeing a counselor. Until today, we pretty much had a "don't ask don't tell" policy with his porn use.
I finally told my boyfriend that I need him to be completely honest about how and when and how often he uses porn with me which he took well.
However...
Things that were slightly disconcerting were:
-How do we put this boundary into place without it feeling like he has to report to me first thing every time we see each other? Is checking in once a week enough? I really don't want to feel like I'm punishing him or monitoring him.
-I want to be realistic, supportive and open-minded, but he alluded that his goal is not to never watch porn again, his goal is to be more ok with/accept his porn usage and only use it 3-4 times a week on certain days. My ideal relationship is that he attempts to never watch porn again so it doesn't get in the way of our sex life, but maybe things can evolve from here in a different way? Or am I deluding myself?
He told me the longest break he's taken is 2 weeks. Where do we go from here?
THANK YOU SO MUCH!