Hi guys,
I'm starting this thread to keep track of my progress in rebooting. This is going to be a success story.
Facts about my addiction:
- started around the age of 11, now 24,
- started trying to quit around the aqe of 13,
- long time no success
- when I was about 19, I managed to go almost 5 months without PMO, and before that some more (3?) months with jus one relapse. At that time my huge erections were back, also I was doing very well in life.
- Then my addiction kicked back in and escalated. Last 5 years were very bad in terms of addiction, but this year has been the worst time of my life in all aspects, including masturbation and porn.
- The only optimistic facts: I tried to quit for a long time, so I had some times (even if not long) without PMO, I had a gf/fiancee for a long time, so I touching and being touched by a real woman is natural (and helpful), I did regain my freedom & health once (though for short time), I never went into extreme porn, worst I did was bi threesomes/orgies (sory if trigger for anyone), which was disgusting, but I still watched it,
- I've come to a place where even minor stress leads to masturbation. I must learn to deal with it in a healthy manner.
- Also, even a minor sight of girl's body in the public can trigger me. Another thing to control. Asses are killing me, actually.
My reasons to quit:
- I'm catholic,
- I want to have quality erections again. As a child I used to masturbate prone, then I used to masturbate without the full erection and without giving my penis time to rest. I feel like my penis has shrunked and I can't get a full erection
- I'm getting married in 6 months and 7 days, and I can't let my wife down,
- my lack of self-control in this regard has affected my general self-control and I really need it back.
Yesterday I didn't watch porn and masturbate, but I'm starting counting from today, so this is day one. I can't fail. I won't fail. I have a clear goal and strong motivation.
I want to update the journal everyday. I know the "scheme" of addiction, but I still fail almost everytime:
- days 1-3: easy
- around day 4: first urges, usually after tiring work week,
- if I don't fail around day 4, next strong urges come around day ten. This is the time I literally can't stop thinking about sex and looking at every glimpse of a womens' body in public,
- if I don't fail around day 10, usually it gets better for some time, but then the flatline becomes stressful (having a dead dick, even opposed to a regular semi-dead dick isn't easy).
In light of this:
- first goal: survive until next Saturday (Thursady and Friday will be most difficult),
- second goal: survive day 10 (middle of the next week),
- third goal: start working out this or next week, because it should help both keep me busy and I hope will help me with erections (more testosterone = better boners, I hope),
- fourth goal: don't go to instagram or other triggering websites & start controlling how I look at women.
- fifth goal: since I plan on being here everyday, I'll try to check up on other guys here, too. I guess it sucks to just write in my own thread.
Good luck everyone! Let's do it.
I'm starting this thread to keep track of my progress in rebooting. This is going to be a success story.
Facts about my addiction:
- started around the age of 11, now 24,
- started trying to quit around the aqe of 13,
- long time no success
- when I was about 19, I managed to go almost 5 months without PMO, and before that some more (3?) months with jus one relapse. At that time my huge erections were back, also I was doing very well in life.
- Then my addiction kicked back in and escalated. Last 5 years were very bad in terms of addiction, but this year has been the worst time of my life in all aspects, including masturbation and porn.
- The only optimistic facts: I tried to quit for a long time, so I had some times (even if not long) without PMO, I had a gf/fiancee for a long time, so I touching and being touched by a real woman is natural (and helpful), I did regain my freedom & health once (though for short time), I never went into extreme porn, worst I did was bi threesomes/orgies (sory if trigger for anyone), which was disgusting, but I still watched it,
- I've come to a place where even minor stress leads to masturbation. I must learn to deal with it in a healthy manner.
- Also, even a minor sight of girl's body in the public can trigger me. Another thing to control. Asses are killing me, actually.
My reasons to quit:
- I'm catholic,
- I want to have quality erections again. As a child I used to masturbate prone, then I used to masturbate without the full erection and without giving my penis time to rest. I feel like my penis has shrunked and I can't get a full erection
- I'm getting married in 6 months and 7 days, and I can't let my wife down,
- my lack of self-control in this regard has affected my general self-control and I really need it back.
Yesterday I didn't watch porn and masturbate, but I'm starting counting from today, so this is day one. I can't fail. I won't fail. I have a clear goal and strong motivation.
I want to update the journal everyday. I know the "scheme" of addiction, but I still fail almost everytime:
- days 1-3: easy
- around day 4: first urges, usually after tiring work week,
- if I don't fail around day 4, next strong urges come around day ten. This is the time I literally can't stop thinking about sex and looking at every glimpse of a womens' body in public,
- if I don't fail around day 10, usually it gets better for some time, but then the flatline becomes stressful (having a dead dick, even opposed to a regular semi-dead dick isn't easy).
In light of this:
- first goal: survive until next Saturday (Thursady and Friday will be most difficult),
- second goal: survive day 10 (middle of the next week),
- third goal: start working out this or next week, because it should help both keep me busy and I hope will help me with erections (more testosterone = better boners, I hope),
- fourth goal: don't go to instagram or other triggering websites & start controlling how I look at women.
- fifth goal: since I plan on being here everyday, I'll try to check up on other guys here, too. I guess it sucks to just write in my own thread.
Good luck everyone! Let's do it.
