Powerless, defenceless and hating myself.

[Jethro]

Thank you Rex,
                      It has made such a difference knowing that I have you guys watching my back and encouraging me, and praying has certainly strengthened me beyond measure. I know that I have to stay vigilant, this addiction is clever, in that it is one of those illnesses, and yes, I see it is an illness today, that tries to convince us that we don't have it, how insidious and sneaky is that?. The fact that I have people praying for me as well, is a tremendous help, you don't want to let people who take the time to pray for you down, at least I don't. I have also become a member of a Christian organisation called the Samson Society. It's a band of brothers who hold virtual video meetings as well as face to face meetings, sadly there are no meetings in my area, so I depend on the virtual meetings. Perhaps you might want to check it out?. Anyway, I backslid two days into my reboot, so now my reboot is December 4th, and now I am 9 days sober. Thanks for being here, and thank you for being the buddy you are,
                            Jethro.

 

[Rex]

Thank you Rex,
                      It has made such a difference knowing that I have you guys watching my back and encouraging me, and praying has certainly strengthened me beyond measure. I know that I have to stay vigilant, this addiction is clever, in that it is one of those illnesses, and yes, I see it is an illness today, that tries to convince us that we don't have it, how insidious and sneaky is that?. The fact that I have people praying for me as well, is a tremendous help, you don't want to let people who take the time to pray for you down, at least I don't. I have also become a member of a Christian organisation called the Samson Society. It's a band of brothers who hold virtual video meetings as well as face to face meetings, sadly there are no meetings in my area, so I depend on the virtual meetings. Perhaps you might want to check it out?. Anyway, I backslid two days into my reboot, so now my reboot is December 4th, and now I am 9 days sober. Thanks for being here, and thank you for being the buddy you are,
                            Jethro.

Jethro,

Congratulations on staying sober.  The toughest stretch is the first week and you have passed that.

Sorry for the delayed response, I have been really suffering the last few days with my health.  Spent more than my fair share of time lying in bed.  I had a very good breakthrough today it was truly and answer to prayers, I just found out this morning from my doctor that I have lyme disease, after years of suffering with my body deteriorating slowly I thought it was my PMO addiction that was the cause. I will be starting a regiment of antibiotics to kick the lyme bacteria out of my body.  Thank you so much for the prayers, it's finally good to know what's wrong with me and to begin to start the healing process. I also found out that my anxiety and panic attacks are caused by cortisol levels that are extremely high which is caused by lyme.  My PMO addiction wasn't helping the condition since it substantially elevates cortisol levels.

I'll check out the Samson Society, sounds like a really good organization.

Keep up the good work, you are doing great....