Now or never

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changemylife

Guest
Josh_ said:
I have tried edging for three years and simply found that it doesn't work. I go back to the O in PMO again and again. Maybe different for you, but I find it's impossible to start at M and not reach O, so I don't masturbation to begin with and I do suggest the same for you.
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Well, years ago I didn't know that P was an addiction. I saw that I couldn't stop masturbating on a daily bases and I thought I was addicted to masturbation. In an attempt to quit masturbation, I started edging, because I said that as long as I didn't O, I was safe, not knowing that I shouldn't have watched P and I shouldn't have edged either. Edging for me became a way to turn myself on but I have periods of time (I don't know why) when I can't turn myself on at all, no matter how much edging I'm doing (like last time). I feel completely empty, as if the ability to arouse myself didn't exist at all. That's why I don't always O in the same day after edging when I can't turn myself on as much as I want. I have this obsession with the "biggest high" and when my arousal is not up to this, I don't want to O because this makes me feel like the urges will go away and I won't be able to get my best high tomorrow. I don't know, it's complicated. But I eventually O anyway, even if it comes after a few days, out of frustration and impatience. Even if it seems like my brain enjoys the edging more, the O is still the ultimate goal for us.

I also find that you claim that there is no overdose in pornography use. I beg to differ. At the height of my 12 year addiction to porn I was using porn 3-4 hours a day for maybe 3 months straight. I was lonely, as you constantly post, and committed a detrimental parasuicide where I barely escaped death. Now, one might feel that using porn doesn't instantly cause death - say like alcohol use. But, we all here can acknowledge that alcohol use is through the digestive tract and our problem with porn is through the eyes, primarily. Seeing that these two are very different, it's easy to see that, indeed, porn use has a different overdose type than a brick and mortar addiction like alcohol. After using the computer daily for 4 hours, I had such low self esteem (a side effect attributable to addictive porn use), that I thought I be better off dead. This, to me, is an overdose of the substance if there is a clear pattern of use porn and them immediately want to not exist, loneliness, whatever descriptor you want to put there.
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Well, you know what I mean by "no overdose in porn". It doesn't kill you like injecting more heroin than you should and dropping dead. That's what I mean. At least I don't know anybody who literally dropped dead after PMO. But who knows. I can PMO like 7 times a day, I just don't continue cause I can't anymore, I'm completely exhausted but I can't kill myself. Near death experience from PMO can't scare me. Sometimes I just wish I could overdose on PMO.
 
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changemylife

Guest
3 times after 4 days. I edged all day yesterday. I'm completely fucked up. I haven't counted how many binges I had this month. I don't even want to.
 
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changemylife

Guest
They should've killed me when I was born, now I'm stuck in the fucking storm
 
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changemylife

Guest
The potential for this illness exists in all people and, under the right circumstances, anyone would be driven to it, like him.
 
R

Rebooter2019

Active Member
changemylife said:
I can't do shit in my situation.
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It's not like you have a choice, it's either that or you keep descending with that infernal spiral from where you'll never get out! You have to act and stop poisoning youself.

You can do it, but you have to stop thinking like that!
 
Pete McVries

Pete McVries

Active Member
changemylife said:
I can't do shit in my situation.
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That's flat out bullshit. But keep telling yourself lies in order to continue binging. Mate, if you can watch porn for 10 hours a day, then you can get the login data of your router, type in motherfucking "192.168.0.1", and install openDNS. But yeah, you can't do shit in your situation, I forgot. Get real, son.
 
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changemylife

Guest
Pete McVries said:
changemylife said:
I can't do shit in my situation.
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That's flat out bullshit. But keep telling yourself lies in order to continue binging. Mate, if you can watch porn for 10 hours a day, then you can get the login data of your router, type in motherfucking "192.168.0.1", and install openDNS. But yeah, you can't do shit in your situation, I forgot. Get real, son.
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And you think your opendns will save me from death? This is hilarious.
 
Pete McVries

Pete McVries

Active Member
We all gonna die eventually. It's hilarious that you tell yourself sweet little lies in order to keep going. The truth is you discovered that porn is incredibly harmful but the truth is also that you are not ready to let go. That's why I told you to get help from your parents. But you are too scared to set things in motion, you are too comfortable in your sorrows and you are too attached to porn.

Do you really think anything is gonna change once you land the job? Yeah, you will tell me, I'm gonna find and pay a therapist but you know what? A therapist can only do so much, in the end YOU have to act, YOU have to change, YOU have to take action. If YOU don't start doing things in order to get better, the best therapist can't help you. Swallow that pill.
 
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changemylife

Guest
Pete McVries said:
We all gonna die eventually. It's hilarious that you tell yourself sweet little lies in order to keep going. The truth is you discovered that porn is incredibly harmful but the truth is also that you are not ready to let go. That's why I told you to get help from your parents. But you are too scared to set things in motion, you are too comfortable in your sorrows and you are too attached to porn.

Do you really think anything is gonna change once you land the job? Yeah, you will tell me, I'm gonna find and pay a therapist but you know what? A therapist can only do so much, in the end YOU have to act, YOU have to change, YOU have to take action. If YOU don't start doing things in order to get better, the best therapist can't help you. Swallow that pill.
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And what the fuck do you want me to do right now if I don't even go to a therapist? You swallow this pill too.
 
Pete McVries

Pete McVries

Active Member
Sigh, I can't live your life for you. I told you to install openDNS but all you do is to hide behind cynical comments. There are even easier to install porn blockers. Also, GO TALK TO YOUR GOD DAMN PARENTS. I've told you to do so days ago. But you won't do it. You won't do anything. I'm really baffled that you basically decline to do anything. Like the smallest of small steps. I bet, you haven't left the house for days. I told you to take strolls, but I'm sure you didn't do it. Why is that so? You tell me?
 
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changemylife

Guest
Okay, I'm getting tired of those discussions about do this do that it's all about you it's all about this and that. I'll kill myself anyway, why do you care so much?
 
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changemylife

Guest
Fuck this and fuck this and fuck that and fuck that guy fuck that girl fuck everything fuck that thing and fuck this thing :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 
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