Remington.22
Member
Hello Fellow Warriors,
Posting in the hopes this will be of inspiration to those of you caught in the "I hate it > I quit > PMO > I hate it > I quit" cycle that I've been in for decades. It can be done. I'm living proof. I posted this to a struggler in the 40+ forum but reproducing here on the assumption that someone(s) needs it...
"EVERYONE here can relate, Jethro. Don't know where you are in terms of practicing a faith but the bible contains an incredible amount of truth and what you have just described is summed up so perfectly and succinctly in the book of Romans 7th chapter, "For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing." We've all been there, many still are -- about to log on, about to click, about to _______ while thinking to ourselves at the very same time, "WHY AM I DOING THIS?!! I don't want this crap in my life!" ...yet forging ahead anyway. So powerful is the brain's drive and desire for that rush.
We can come here for support, put filters and blockers in place, etc., yadda, etc. We've all done it and we all know -- when/if we want to find ways around our safeguards,...we will. At the end of it all. When the road reaches its end - its a matter of drive, determination and will power. I wish is weren't so. We all do. I wish there were a pill. There isn't.
The last time I viewed pron was April 8, 2018. I can tell you from present day, real life, personal experience - it gets easier. Depending on the depth of one's addiction, and I first started viewing 40 years ago, mustering the willpower to survive that initial onslaught, the constant "man I want a fix" of the first 90 days is brutal. The first days and weeks being the worst. But it comes down to a matter of willpower and thought control. The mind must FIRST conceive then the body acts. When those memories come, when you begin playing videos on the theater of your brain - shut them down. Right then and there. Its neither easy nor desirable, b/c we WANT the images. But when you reach the level of self-discipline to hit the 'off' switch at that stage, then the days of sobriety turn into weeks which turn into months (in my case) which turn into years (in the case of some others here.)"
Posting in the hopes this will be of inspiration to those of you caught in the "I hate it > I quit > PMO > I hate it > I quit" cycle that I've been in for decades. It can be done. I'm living proof. I posted this to a struggler in the 40+ forum but reproducing here on the assumption that someone(s) needs it...
"EVERYONE here can relate, Jethro. Don't know where you are in terms of practicing a faith but the bible contains an incredible amount of truth and what you have just described is summed up so perfectly and succinctly in the book of Romans 7th chapter, "For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing." We've all been there, many still are -- about to log on, about to click, about to _______ while thinking to ourselves at the very same time, "WHY AM I DOING THIS?!! I don't want this crap in my life!" ...yet forging ahead anyway. So powerful is the brain's drive and desire for that rush.
We can come here for support, put filters and blockers in place, etc., yadda, etc. We've all done it and we all know -- when/if we want to find ways around our safeguards,...we will. At the end of it all. When the road reaches its end - its a matter of drive, determination and will power. I wish is weren't so. We all do. I wish there were a pill. There isn't.
The last time I viewed pron was April 8, 2018. I can tell you from present day, real life, personal experience - it gets easier. Depending on the depth of one's addiction, and I first started viewing 40 years ago, mustering the willpower to survive that initial onslaught, the constant "man I want a fix" of the first 90 days is brutal. The first days and weeks being the worst. But it comes down to a matter of willpower and thought control. The mind must FIRST conceive then the body acts. When those memories come, when you begin playing videos on the theater of your brain - shut them down. Right then and there. Its neither easy nor desirable, b/c we WANT the images. But when you reach the level of self-discipline to hit the 'off' switch at that stage, then the days of sobriety turn into weeks which turn into months (in my case) which turn into years (in the case of some others here.)"