[size=14pt][size=18pt][size=18pt][size=12pt][size=10pt]Okay starting from where I left off. I was in bed with a super hot lady friend 8) BUT SOME HOW I WAS NUMB AND COULDN'T FEEL A THING OR GET HARD! Being that i really liked this girl, I was very embarrassed about it and the whole thing was soo awkward. I had a million and one things going through my head. Do I like men now or something? Am I not attracted to her? Is my shmeckle broken? What if Im doomed for life with this? Do I need to see a doctor?....
Out of all these unanswered questions I knew that there was one thing I did know. I NEEDED TO QUIT WATCHING PORN. If there was any chance of me ever getting to have a normal and exciting sexual experience with this girl. Or any girl for that matter. So I after that awkward experience I told her that I wasn't really sure what was wrong and that it was not at all her fault. She comforted me and was actually very understanding! I was so surprised she took it the way she did. It kind of made me a lot less hard on my self than I probably would've been. Even though she was understanding, the next couple of days were super mentally combative and I was scared that I would be stuck like this and also mad that I was unable to do what men are generally supposed to have no problem doing. So it was tough, I was pissed for a day or two but I decided to stop being a wuss about it and start looking for solutions. I surfed the web for hours looking up Porn related issues, sexual anxiety disorders and all that jazz. I found a book about sexual anxiety and I read it in literally one day. It basically said try to relax when engaging in sexual experiences and focus your attention to the person in that moment. With that new information I gained a little confidence and was ready to try again. So when I came to her room to engage in sexual interactions again, I repeated to myself the wise lessons of the book and GUESS WHAT! I was left with a shrimpy shmeckle AGAIN! Through out the whole thing!! Literally nothing she was doing was working and Honestly I debated moving to a different country or something cuz I felt terrible. This fail lead to another few days of ego combat which I got through once again and led me back to her room for a 3rd try. This time I didn't expect much, she gave me oral for a pretty long time and I was on shrimp mode the whole time :-[ How ever when I was just about to go into self pity.... something happened! I GOT HARD!!!! lmao Honestly I was sooo happy when it happened It was fully hard too I was like [size=24pt]YESSSSSS! but then like 30 seconds later it was shrimp mode again LOL. The fact that it even worked out for 30 seconds was an improvement and it gave me some sign of hope. So I was happy. I think she kind of liked it too.
At that point in time I had stopped watching porn for about 2 or 3 weeks. Masterbation was also off the table.
So thats the story of my 2nd and 3rd experience I'll be back in a few days to continue the story....
Thanks for reading if you can relate with me in anyway, feel free to leave a comment I'm open to all advise or stories and I want to be better everyday. Hope you enjoyed.[/size][/size][/size][/size][/size][/size]
Out of all these unanswered questions I knew that there was one thing I did know. I NEEDED TO QUIT WATCHING PORN. If there was any chance of me ever getting to have a normal and exciting sexual experience with this girl. Or any girl for that matter. So I after that awkward experience I told her that I wasn't really sure what was wrong and that it was not at all her fault. She comforted me and was actually very understanding! I was so surprised she took it the way she did. It kind of made me a lot less hard on my self than I probably would've been. Even though she was understanding, the next couple of days were super mentally combative and I was scared that I would be stuck like this and also mad that I was unable to do what men are generally supposed to have no problem doing. So it was tough, I was pissed for a day or two but I decided to stop being a wuss about it and start looking for solutions. I surfed the web for hours looking up Porn related issues, sexual anxiety disorders and all that jazz. I found a book about sexual anxiety and I read it in literally one day. It basically said try to relax when engaging in sexual experiences and focus your attention to the person in that moment. With that new information I gained a little confidence and was ready to try again. So when I came to her room to engage in sexual interactions again, I repeated to myself the wise lessons of the book and GUESS WHAT! I was left with a shrimpy shmeckle AGAIN! Through out the whole thing!! Literally nothing she was doing was working and Honestly I debated moving to a different country or something cuz I felt terrible. This fail lead to another few days of ego combat which I got through once again and led me back to her room for a 3rd try. This time I didn't expect much, she gave me oral for a pretty long time and I was on shrimp mode the whole time :-[ How ever when I was just about to go into self pity.... something happened! I GOT HARD!!!! lmao Honestly I was sooo happy when it happened It was fully hard too I was like [size=24pt]YESSSSSS! but then like 30 seconds later it was shrimp mode again LOL. The fact that it even worked out for 30 seconds was an improvement and it gave me some sign of hope. So I was happy. I think she kind of liked it too.
At that point in time I had stopped watching porn for about 2 or 3 weeks. Masterbation was also off the table.
So thats the story of my 2nd and 3rd experience I'll be back in a few days to continue the story....
Thanks for reading if you can relate with me in anyway, feel free to leave a comment I'm open to all advise or stories and I want to be better everyday. Hope you enjoyed.[/size][/size][/size][/size][/size][/size]