If you haven't told anybody,...tell someone
- Thread starter Remington.22
- Start date
N
Numez
Guest
yeah thats the part i called bullshit.joepanic said:
if thats not bullshit i dont know what is. if calling that bullshit is too strong language then you need to grow something about yourself and adapt to real life.
original poster, remington said it was complete misunderstanding and i thought it was real so thats why i commented its bullshit. remington is really good guy and i like he is here on this forum. it happens to everyone to get misunderstood. it obviously happened to me too on this topic because there is no way @doneAtLast is disagreeing with me if he actually knows what im talkin about.
doneatlast
Well-Known Member
I do know what you're talking about, at least insofar as you seem to agree with joepanic. You're seeing a logical problem... to beat the addiction, you must do something that is conditional upon having first beaten the addiction. Except, that isn't what he was saying. You cite Malando's post, but Malando himself has said his post was based on a misreading where the first post was left too much open to interpretation. Personally, I never had that interpretive problem... I saw it just as him feeling on top of the world for finally getting something off of his chest, which is beneficial to really anyone. He advised others to try the same, which I responded with my own reservations (opening up isn't an option, or a wise option, for everyone), but had no problem with his advice with said conditions. The problem is that your criticism is based on something you imagined him saying. Once that falls through, the criticism should become null, but somehow it is hanging on for no obvious reason.
Or, maybe many simply read a "holier than thou" tone to his post, and felt a need to tear him down for waiting for nine months into a reboot. Again, there is nothing in his text that lends a superior/condescending tone. I read it as catharsis and enthusiasm. Many others have posted on this board in the same way and from the same spirited disposition, including myself! When we have good days, we want to share our success. If I am missing some line where he berates people on the board or tries to make himself seem superior, then someone please quote it. Otherwise, you're putting words into his mouth and getting upset at him for things he never said.
Thank you kindly for your advice on which body parts you feel I need to grow to greater fortitude, but I really don't think my masculine proportions are relevant to the issue at hand. Show us exactly what is getting your knickers into a twist on this instead of just saying "bullshit" over and over again, and changing the subject to my testicular endowment. This board needs to be better than just shouting matches.
We need to be taking great joy in the successes and charitable in the setbacks of our fellow rebooters, regardless of where in the journey they lie. I don't see much point in working against this.
Or, maybe many simply read a "holier than thou" tone to his post, and felt a need to tear him down for waiting for nine months into a reboot. Again, there is nothing in his text that lends a superior/condescending tone. I read it as catharsis and enthusiasm. Many others have posted on this board in the same way and from the same spirited disposition, including myself! When we have good days, we want to share our success. If I am missing some line where he berates people on the board or tries to make himself seem superior, then someone please quote it. Otherwise, you're putting words into his mouth and getting upset at him for things he never said.
Thank you kindly for your advice on which body parts you feel I need to grow to greater fortitude, but I really don't think my masculine proportions are relevant to the issue at hand. Show us exactly what is getting your knickers into a twist on this instead of just saying "bullshit" over and over again, and changing the subject to my testicular endowment. This board needs to be better than just shouting matches.
We need to be taking great joy in the successes and charitable in the setbacks of our fellow rebooters, regardless of where in the journey they lie. I don't see much point in working against this.
doneatlast
Well-Known Member
Remington.22 said:
I apologize for misquoting you, though I stand by what I said. Even if you did stay zipped up to everyone for nine months, then that is okay too. We all find our strength at different times and in different ways, and opening up like that has higher stakes for some than others. Changing that detail shouldn't make the difference between you meriting that criticism or not. I just don't see how it is a competition of who tells others the earliest in the process. Though, it certainly does nullify many of the arguments, and I see your point!
N
Numez
Guest
imagined because he left too many details out of the story as you, me, malando and remi said. i said it many times it was based on OP (original post) and OP corrected himself so its all good now but YOU keep hanging to my old outdated post that OP was bullshit. how old are you? yes i do think your age may be relevant to the issue at hand. or do you speak english well?
who said its body part and especially some masculine part ;D are you even for real? when somebody tells you to grow up you think they mean dick, balls, muscle or whatever masculine part of your body ;D
I can't believe this thread has gone this way. Honestly baffled.
I didn't tell a single soul about my porn-induced ED/addiction until I was seeing recovery/recovered. Yes, telling someone, even after recovery, is liberating. Getting secrets off your chest and helping others is always powerful.
He came and gave advice. Tell someone. The same advice I give. The same advice Noah Church gives.... just about anyone who has recovered advises people to tell people as soon as possible, because we realize how powerful opening up to others is, and that we wish we would have opened up and told others sooner.
This is similar to telling a championship winning coach who struggled for years before winning, who is giving advice to struggling coaches, that he should have followed his advice way back when he was struggling, and that his giving of advice sounds a little arrogant now... I mean FFS.. come on. "It's a lot harder to win a game when your still losing dude..." Or "Everybody loves a good championship story, but you should have realized and followed what would have helped you before you realized what would have helped you win sooner."
Melando & Nikola, we need to treat members better. And, while opinions are welcome, and sure you can point out that it is easier to tell someone about porn addiction after you beat porn addiction (which everyone already knows), it would be helpful if we encourage advice from people who believe they have something helpful to say.
@Remmington, Thanks for sharing bro and congrats on 9 months and being able to open up to others. Much love and keep truckin, you never know who needs to hear it is possible to beat this addiction and come out the other side and openly discuss it. Noah Church told me that seeing me openly talk about it encouraged him to come out with his story, and he has inspired thousands of others.... a ripple effect. Keep sharing bro
I didn't tell a single soul about my porn-induced ED/addiction until I was seeing recovery/recovered. Yes, telling someone, even after recovery, is liberating. Getting secrets off your chest and helping others is always powerful.
He came and gave advice. Tell someone. The same advice I give. The same advice Noah Church gives.... just about anyone who has recovered advises people to tell people as soon as possible, because we realize how powerful opening up to others is, and that we wish we would have opened up and told others sooner.
This is similar to telling a championship winning coach who struggled for years before winning, who is giving advice to struggling coaches, that he should have followed his advice way back when he was struggling, and that his giving of advice sounds a little arrogant now... I mean FFS.. come on. "It's a lot harder to win a game when your still losing dude..." Or "Everybody loves a good championship story, but you should have realized and followed what would have helped you before you realized what would have helped you win sooner."
Melando & Nikola, we need to treat members better. And, while opinions are welcome, and sure you can point out that it is easier to tell someone about porn addiction after you beat porn addiction (which everyone already knows), it would be helpful if we encourage advice from people who believe they have something helpful to say.
@Remmington, Thanks for sharing bro and congrats on 9 months and being able to open up to others. Much love and keep truckin, you never know who needs to hear it is possible to beat this addiction and come out the other side and openly discuss it. Noah Church told me that seeing me openly talk about it encouraged him to come out with his story, and he has inspired thousands of others.... a ripple effect. Keep sharing bro
Thanks Gabe for your response. As a partner, I do not care when someone talks. I want it in the light. I want people talking. I want people to know that it causes consequences. Whether some one talks as they are using, rebooting, a day after or a gazillion years after, makes no difference. Bring it forward!
Gracie
Gracie
Remington.22
Member
Outstanding response, Gabe. Thanks for that. Neither can I believe the direction this thread has turned & I've specifically avoided posting into it further as I don't want to get dragged into the food fight.
I can't imagine a scenario where one in this struggle would see reason to criticize another merely for breaking silence and opening up with a friend. Whether that happens while caught in the fail/try again/fail cycle we've all been in or if walking in victory. If in victory; whether having been 9 days sober, 9 months, 9 or 19 years. I cannot understand the basis for criticism at all and for the life of me can't figure reasoning for the snarkyness behind something like "Perhaps this post should have been called "after you beat the addiction Tell someone you were addicted to porn and beat the addiction ?.. its liberating Than people will know what your talking about" Does anyone NOT know what I'm talking about? Would the content and message of my op have somehow been more palatable to readers had I used that title instead of the one I did?
But I recognize the fact that communicating via the web, i.e. purely textual form, is not without its challenges and I think that's where we are. While others can only read what we type they cannot construe our intentions or what we 'meant' we tend to filter our own words and sentences thru those lenses. We, of course, know what we mean. That very inability is what leads to rounds of point/counter-point as we strive to be understood, and, no one in the heat of an e-debate likes not having the last word.
This thread was meant to bless. It had the opposite affect on some of you. Please know that was in no way the intent. We're all flesh and blood humans, imperfect in many ways. Let's recognize these truths, recognize the true enemy on this forum and work toward our common goals of mutual healing.
I can't imagine a scenario where one in this struggle would see reason to criticize another merely for breaking silence and opening up with a friend. Whether that happens while caught in the fail/try again/fail cycle we've all been in or if walking in victory. If in victory; whether having been 9 days sober, 9 months, 9 or 19 years. I cannot understand the basis for criticism at all and for the life of me can't figure reasoning for the snarkyness behind something like "Perhaps this post should have been called "after you beat the addiction Tell someone you were addicted to porn and beat the addiction ?.. its liberating Than people will know what your talking about" Does anyone NOT know what I'm talking about? Would the content and message of my op have somehow been more palatable to readers had I used that title instead of the one I did?
But I recognize the fact that communicating via the web, i.e. purely textual form, is not without its challenges and I think that's where we are. While others can only read what we type they cannot construe our intentions or what we 'meant' we tend to filter our own words and sentences thru those lenses. We, of course, know what we mean. That very inability is what leads to rounds of point/counter-point as we strive to be understood, and, no one in the heat of an e-debate likes not having the last word.
This thread was meant to bless. It had the opposite affect on some of you. Please know that was in no way the intent. We're all flesh and blood humans, imperfect in many ways. Let's recognize these truths, recognize the true enemy on this forum and work toward our common goals of mutual healing.