brain reboot fail and I need advices to restart

[djerbiano]

Hi everyone

i have done a brain reboot for two months and then i just cant hold myself anymore from masturbation ! so i did ! and that was the beginning of masturbating on sexy pictures in my smartphone  :'( !
I m trying to restart the process but i m wondering what should i do if i m soo horny and i cant hold myself from masturabtion ? should i masturbate on some fantasy ? because i dont think those kinda of thought are possible to avoid without masturbation
thank you for your help 

 

[SebUK]

I had a relapse after a 45 day break of p/mb. I was extremely horny like you mention. I was really angry with myself, but also surprised I had managed to go that long without mb. In all my past recovery attempts I basically have kept mb without looking at p. It was only when I found this site that I decided to go the whole hog.

Anyway, I saw a counsellor on Monday. He thought that I was being a bit ...overzealous by trying to go completely cold turkey. He wasn't against the avoidance of porn, but he thought maybe if I mb that isn't so bad. It would certainly let off some pressure. So I've decided to relax that part a bit. He also recommended not fantasising about porn and using past sexual experiences instead. Easier said than done, but it is possible. Especially when you're really horny!

 

[jjhh]

Funny I just wrote about related experience in my diary: http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=1443.0

My gut feeling is that whatever you masturbate or not, if porn is your addiction, stay away from it and also stop fantasising about porn.
If that's impossible for you, then don't do it at all.

 

[persian29]

wow i wish i could go 45 + days..i have yet to make it to 21...

 

[Vincent]

Hi there,

i do not think that MO is wrong. However, it can make the whole reboot void.....if done the same way you did it with P.
What I am trying to say is: you should use MO as a nice time for you, relax and take your time to discover new aspects of your sexuality. The link between M and P is very strong because it is a certain procedure we go through, like: sitting down in front of PC, check pornsite, open pants, wank, pause, fast forward vid, wank, pause, edge (etc) until climax, clean, close P-Window, go on with other stuff, or another round....this is a procedure that then is ritualised...the most dangerours thing because only this will make you feel good eventually. Why not try it in another room without anything but some music and only touch yourself without any expectation? I can at least promise that it is a different sensation and more relaxing all in all.

The hornyness can actually be channeled. I had my relapse on day 28 and I did it not because I was horny....just because I did not try and stop myself. At the horny days I just fought it harder cutting the computer from internet.

Do not be too hard on yourself about relapse - you have to accept what you did and then you see that it was a necessary step to go forward. If you watch sexy pics on your Phonebrowser, delete it. You can browse with your PC (and there are better blockers on your PC available). There will be a point where you just lose interest in porn as you don't really need it. When i relapsed I watched porn, yes, but then I just felt like it was not as enjoyable as totally focussing on meditative MO. My brain was satisfied but my body not....

keep it up and keep an open mind. Reboot is not so much about the result itself - it's about your different acknowledgement of the way you see sexuality and the way you want to change....pretty esoterical, what... .

The one thing you already know now is: you did not need porn for 2 Month. So you also don't need it for the next two and the two after -> you don't really NEED it at all. Therefore your streak has shown you what you already knew: you CAN be free and WILL be free!!! that is what I would call success and not failure! ;D

all the best, Vincent

 

[William]

I don't think you had/have a plan.  You need to get a plan.  You need to understand what is going on in your head.  Watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

You need to block 90 days, no porn, no MO, no O, for a permanent change in your lifestyle.  If you are not here trying to change a lifestyle, you probably are not here for the right reasons.  I think the whole MO v. no MO during reboot is a distraction  The real issue is porn addiction.  You have become addicted to porn.  But it is not porn, actually, porn is just the button you are pushing to get a dopamine rush.  You have to avoid that dopamine rush, completely, 100%, during the reboot.  OK, that is difficult, but that has to be your goal.  You, and I, and every other porn addict, will not want to do that because we love that dopamine rush.  That is called being human.  No one ever died from not masturbating.  You won't either.  You can get clean now or you can life the porn lifestyle until you are in your eighties.  I think it is better to get clean now. 

Much love. 

 

[djerbiano]

Thank you SebUK,William and spacelly Vincent for the motivation and the clarification of many things that was kinda unclear for me
Actuelly from the first day that i starded the Brain reboot until now i didnt watche any porn i quit it for good! and yesterday i even deleted tumblr from my phone because it was the source of all the pictures that i was watching ! and i think i m good to go again spacelly that i dont have any problems to masturabte only on some previous sexual experiences or on some fantasy that are not related to porn ofc !
I really appreciate Vincent advices because thats exactly my aim.
Thank you guys again  ;D