NOFAPSuccess2018
Member
Gabe, your story gave me the strength I needed to do this. Thank you. I owe you.
My brothers:
The support on this site, RebootNation, and YBOP are literally the only reasons I am alive today. I mean that. I was ready for suicide,gun was in my hand and loaded 8 months ago. I was going to lose my family due to PMO. NoFAP, Gary Wilson, Gabe Deem, and a well timed response by Noah Church saved me. And all of you. Tomorrow is 299 Days.
Today is day 298 of NoFap for me, and I am a very different guy than I was before:
Me: 43 year old law enforcement professional. Married 10 years.
Before Nofap: selfish, demanding, irritated all the time with wife. Drank 3 nights a week, a few beers. Whenever I didn't get what I wanted sexually right away, I would PMO. This had increased over the past few years, resulting in weaker erections and more demands of wife (who is gorgeous, educated, and in love with me, but all this made it so we had sex 1x a month or less. She was just a lust object to me, I am ashamed to say). PMO nearly ended my marriage when she found it on my phone.
After Nofap: PIED ended on day 265. With AMAZING hot, connected sex with my wife. I feel better every single day.
This has been hell. Ups and downs, suicidal and then feeling good. I never knew I had PIED until I stopped PMO, and viewing porn (when caught, I was told she would divorce me if I did it again.) That was all i needed. NoFap was do or die. I wasn't going to lose my family for this shit. I never went back to PMO or fapping. Four times my wife got so frustrated with my mood swings and said she was going to leave. Plus lack of attention as I was trying to reboot (I was not very good at communication in the beginning.) We are now as we were 5 years ago, before I started daily PMO, then escalated to EVERY SPARE MINUTE PMO. I had no idea what i was doing to my brain. If i could take it back i would. But I am well on the way to recovery. Stay the course. STICK WITH IT. Journal so you can see your ups and downs and track your moods. I HAD NO IDEA I COULD HAVE SEX until I TRIED. Put yourself out there, risk failure. Here is a list of my ups and down days, in a cycle:
22up?FLATLINE-43 down....9up?.7down?33up?7down?.7up?6down?.13 up?.6down?7up?6down?9 up?.5 down, 5 up, 3 down, 11 up, 2 down, 3 up, 1 down, 1 up, 3 down, 8 up, 2 not so flat, 1 up, 1 down, 11 up , 1 down, 2 up, 7 down, 7 up?.( updated 12/27)? PIED ended On day 265 with PIV
I started dreaming again on DAY 194- Dreams are a sign reward circuit is HEALING
Dreams: Day 74, 194, 201, 202, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 211, 212, 214, 217, 221, 222, 225, 226, 227, 228, 229, 231, 234, 235, 236, 237, 238, 239, 240, 241,243, 246, 247, 248, 249, 251, 252, 253, 255, 256, 257, 258, 259, 260, 261, 266, 267, 268, 269, 270, 271
Morning Wood: 72, 88, 150, 198, 205, 206, 208, 211, 214, 221, 222, 229, 231, 235, 237, 238, 239, 240, 241,249, 251, 252, 253, 255, 256, 257, 258, 266, 267, 268, 269, 270, 271.....and keeps getting better.
Abstinence periods, by duration: 34 days, 71 days, 70 days, 92, 5 so far? after 92 days, while moods were a little down, I I had really hot sex. This broke my flatline. Gary Wilson was right, sometimes a long rebooter needs an orgasm to get moving again. I had sex for the next two nights. I am spacing orgasms to make sure i am not going to go back into flatline. Had no "orgasm hangover."
Suppliments: L-Arginine- 3000 mg per day, broken up in to 3 doses. Helps enormously with anxiety that comes with flatline.
Stay strong my friends. I am crying as I write this. I am alive. I have hope. My dick works again. My marriage is really doing well. Communication is great. My kids love spending time with me. I am sober of PMO, I don't drink anymore. My wife and I are awesome We always loved each other, but now we are incredibly close again. I am happy.
STICK WITH NOFAP. IT WORKS. So many times I almost threw in the towel. Stick with it, you will recover. I did. PIED and all.
I love you guys.
J.
My brothers:
The support on this site, RebootNation, and YBOP are literally the only reasons I am alive today. I mean that. I was ready for suicide,gun was in my hand and loaded 8 months ago. I was going to lose my family due to PMO. NoFAP, Gary Wilson, Gabe Deem, and a well timed response by Noah Church saved me. And all of you. Tomorrow is 299 Days.
Today is day 298 of NoFap for me, and I am a very different guy than I was before:
Me: 43 year old law enforcement professional. Married 10 years.
Before Nofap: selfish, demanding, irritated all the time with wife. Drank 3 nights a week, a few beers. Whenever I didn't get what I wanted sexually right away, I would PMO. This had increased over the past few years, resulting in weaker erections and more demands of wife (who is gorgeous, educated, and in love with me, but all this made it so we had sex 1x a month or less. She was just a lust object to me, I am ashamed to say). PMO nearly ended my marriage when she found it on my phone.
After Nofap: PIED ended on day 265. With AMAZING hot, connected sex with my wife. I feel better every single day.
This has been hell. Ups and downs, suicidal and then feeling good. I never knew I had PIED until I stopped PMO, and viewing porn (when caught, I was told she would divorce me if I did it again.) That was all i needed. NoFap was do or die. I wasn't going to lose my family for this shit. I never went back to PMO or fapping. Four times my wife got so frustrated with my mood swings and said she was going to leave. Plus lack of attention as I was trying to reboot (I was not very good at communication in the beginning.) We are now as we were 5 years ago, before I started daily PMO, then escalated to EVERY SPARE MINUTE PMO. I had no idea what i was doing to my brain. If i could take it back i would. But I am well on the way to recovery. Stay the course. STICK WITH IT. Journal so you can see your ups and downs and track your moods. I HAD NO IDEA I COULD HAVE SEX until I TRIED. Put yourself out there, risk failure. Here is a list of my ups and down days, in a cycle:
22up?FLATLINE-43 down....9up?.7down?33up?7down?.7up?6down?.13 up?.6down?7up?6down?9 up?.5 down, 5 up, 3 down, 11 up, 2 down, 3 up, 1 down, 1 up, 3 down, 8 up, 2 not so flat, 1 up, 1 down, 11 up , 1 down, 2 up, 7 down, 7 up?.( updated 12/27)? PIED ended On day 265 with PIV
I started dreaming again on DAY 194- Dreams are a sign reward circuit is HEALING
Dreams: Day 74, 194, 201, 202, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 211, 212, 214, 217, 221, 222, 225, 226, 227, 228, 229, 231, 234, 235, 236, 237, 238, 239, 240, 241,243, 246, 247, 248, 249, 251, 252, 253, 255, 256, 257, 258, 259, 260, 261, 266, 267, 268, 269, 270, 271
Morning Wood: 72, 88, 150, 198, 205, 206, 208, 211, 214, 221, 222, 229, 231, 235, 237, 238, 239, 240, 241,249, 251, 252, 253, 255, 256, 257, 258, 266, 267, 268, 269, 270, 271.....and keeps getting better.
Abstinence periods, by duration: 34 days, 71 days, 70 days, 92, 5 so far? after 92 days, while moods were a little down, I I had really hot sex. This broke my flatline. Gary Wilson was right, sometimes a long rebooter needs an orgasm to get moving again. I had sex for the next two nights. I am spacing orgasms to make sure i am not going to go back into flatline. Had no "orgasm hangover."
Suppliments: L-Arginine- 3000 mg per day, broken up in to 3 doses. Helps enormously with anxiety that comes with flatline.
Stay strong my friends. I am crying as I write this. I am alive. I have hope. My dick works again. My marriage is really doing well. Communication is great. My kids love spending time with me. I am sober of PMO, I don't drink anymore. My wife and I are awesome We always loved each other, but now we are incredibly close again. I am happy.
STICK WITH NOFAP. IT WORKS. So many times I almost threw in the towel. Stick with it, you will recover. I did. PIED and all.
I love you guys.
J.