Give me something to do

[AlexthenotsoGreat]

About a week ago I had days where I've been pretty busy, but now I'm beginning to have days with no plans at all and I'm starting to lose my motivation. I'm currently in school, but struggling to focus on schoolwork at the moment, not because of porn and sexual thoughts but because of dissatisfaction with life (and if I'm honest with myself probably overthinking a girl who rejected me). My friends are all busy with work or girlfriends. This is one of my longest streaks and I don't want to break it for the stupid reason of having nothing else to do. Honestly, I'm interested in knowing what some of you do to fill the empty hours. P.S. Can't afford the gym at the moment.

 

[yesyes1234]

Meditation and exercise are generally things that will improve recovery a bit. If you can't afford the gym, maybe running, biking or training exercises without weights?

Other than that I think it is best to find something that you are interested in. It might take a while to figure it out and a few tries, but it is probably better than doing something random. Do you have any hobbies you are interested in or a skill you want to learn?

 

[AlexthenotsoGreat]

I would probably run or train outside if the streets weren't covered in snow. But thanks for the tips anyway. I have hobbies but right now I feel like getting out of my apartment is a priority.

 

[doneatlast]

Maybe walking or hiking is an option?  I find the slower, more meditative exercise works really well for clearing your mind.  High intensity stuff has its place, but for addiction management I think the slow stuff is helpful too.  With decent boots you should be able to walk around, unless roadways with giant snow banks are literally the only place you can go.

You can always find a public hang out like a coffee shop or something.  Not for everyone, but if you just have regular old computer work, it keeps you honest and off of porn (hopefully). 

Is there any cheap/free fun stuff in your area?  Art museums?  Cheap movie seats? 

Any "guilty pleasure" stuff that you normally avoid but would be better than porn?  Old comic books?  Games?  I find that if I'm relapse prone, I'm not in a frame of mind to throw myself head first into an intense hobby like trying to learn a new musical piece, but need something simpler and more comforting. 

Meditation/prayer was a big one for me.  It was something to calm my nerves if I was feeling anxious, though it isn't for everyone.  I also found that planning a decent night in with a meal and a movie kept me from just going to porn, because I had other plans.  Of course, relapses happened when I just paused the movie, but it did give me a leg up.

 

[AlexthenotsoGreat]

I tried the coffee shop thing and it helped me to get my mind off it until the cravings stopped. You're right, doing anything rather than porn is better, even if it's nothing productive.

 

[WoundedSparrow]

This is relatable topic for me. I spent much of college isolated in my dorm. I went to a party school and I'm not big on partying, so most of my weekends were spent in my room with nothing to do and no one to talk to. But this proved to be a case of, "Idle hands are the devil's workshop." Being alone for several days while doing nothing is bad enough, but it becomes even worse when you're addicted to porn. You get inside your own head and just stew in your own problems. And your case of rejection is definitely not going to help. All of this makes you miserable and your dopamine-addicted brain is not going to sit idly by and do nothing. Your desire to return to porn will increase. My advice to you would be to focus on your hobbies and maybe try and get out and go do something in public. Go to your favorite store and just browse or something. And exercise is free even without gym access. If the temperature isn't too bad, go jog a little. If it is, pushups, situps, jumping jacks, etc. are your friend. The brain rewards itself with dopamine when you work out. I've found that my urge to PMO is reduced significantly when I exercise that day.

 

[AlexthenotsoGreat]

Thanks for your thoughts WoundedSparrow,

Yeah, isolation is definitely a big problem for me. I can go a day or two without any noteworthy interaction, but after that I just begin to lose focus in my studies as my mind drifts towards porn or mo. I've done some exercise at home now and it does help some. I've decided I'm going to sign up for volunteer-work just to get out of the apartment. Studies just aren't very kind to the porn addict, it seems. I still want to study though, but I feel torn.

Thanks again!