Good luck to everyone starting this Free February. I managed to go 30 days hardmode for only the second time ever, thanks to the January Free thread here, and my plan is to carry on as long into February as possible. I need to work out what my motivations are for this month. I was surprised at how easy it was for me to complete 30 days hardmode, so at the moment I am planning on continuing to 40 days (which I believe would break my longest streak), then see how it goes from there.
To be honest, although I have managed to stay away from the temptation of looking at porn, or even porn-substitutes, I am feeling almost asexual at the moment, as I have no partner to re-wire with. I'm not sure if I have the confidence to try and hook up with a woman (I'm starting to realise that I think a big part of my ED problems have been connected to confidence/anxiety in a vicious cycle with lack of experience, which porn use compounded in the last few years.)
At the end of this month it will be almost a year since the moment I discovered PIED could be my problem (couldn't get an erection, even with meds). I've pretty much eradicated porn use since then, but replaced it with what I thought were less harmful alternatives (sex forums, dating apps, "vanilla" pics). In the past year, I have had a few successful sexual encounters with the help of meds, but I know I must not develop a dependency on them, so the goal of this current re-boot is to have successful sex drug-free. But who knows when?
Anyway, sorry for the long post, I really should start my own journal, but I am so busy most of the time I have little time to post here, but I will keep checking back in on this thread. Good luck everyone!
Day 2/28 no PMO; Day 32 hardmode.