Hello all. My story starts with PMO in middle school. Growing up in a community where sex was shameful (or at least that?s how I understood the messages between church, school, etc.). As I moved into high school, the porn stopped however due to the horrible way that I was taught about STD?s and the fact that 1/3 of the girls in my high school population were pregnant, sex was ever scarier. I relied on porn (magazines, movies, 900 numbers, etc.), and anything other than actual intercourse with a female.
Then I lost my virginity. I got married to this lady. The sex was good at first, then my career, family, school, etc. become important and then porn on the internet became readily available. I still was dealing with the same of sex, even with my wife. So, I buried my shame in PMO. Eventually that marriage dissolved due to my lack of emotional connection; this was 5 years ago.
Since then, I have overcome my shame of sex. I have had 2 long-term relationships as well as many other relationships. It was liberating, however PMO was still an activity that I did very often.
I begin to realize it was an addiction; however the women I would sleep with would give me positive reinforcement due to the length of time I would last due to my DE. Sometimes I wouldn?t even climax and I would lie to them.
My goal is simple, it is to stop utilizing Porn in all forms for 1 full year. Yes, this is rather lofty considering that I?m starting with about one day free from PMO.
My triggers tend to be because I?m bored and since sex isn?t truly satisfying it helps me get relief that sex isn?t providing. I believe by adding exercise into my routine on top of this journal will provide the assistance I am in need of.
Then I lost my virginity. I got married to this lady. The sex was good at first, then my career, family, school, etc. become important and then porn on the internet became readily available. I still was dealing with the same of sex, even with my wife. So, I buried my shame in PMO. Eventually that marriage dissolved due to my lack of emotional connection; this was 5 years ago.
Since then, I have overcome my shame of sex. I have had 2 long-term relationships as well as many other relationships. It was liberating, however PMO was still an activity that I did very often.
I begin to realize it was an addiction; however the women I would sleep with would give me positive reinforcement due to the length of time I would last due to my DE. Sometimes I wouldn?t even climax and I would lie to them.
My goal is simple, it is to stop utilizing Porn in all forms for 1 full year. Yes, this is rather lofty considering that I?m starting with about one day free from PMO.
My triggers tend to be because I?m bored and since sex isn?t truly satisfying it helps me get relief that sex isn?t providing. I believe by adding exercise into my routine on top of this journal will provide the assistance I am in need of.
