Journal

[LeanAndBop]

I would like to make a suggestion so as not to lose the linguistic battle.  You talked about having shame-I know what you mean and I hear you.  However, how about saying you feel frustration or disappointment, instead of saying you feel shame ?  You are among equals here friend-no need for shame here or "out there" for that matter.

You are wrong about your commitment to help others-you are already helping people.  I have seen your comments many times, cheering a weary traveller on.  To help people in the midst of your own struggle says a lot about you.

The fact that you have been at it for five years is of little relevant significance as to what happens today or tomorrow.  You have a good attitude and a lot of tenacity; many would have given up, but you are still fighting.  Let's do this! 

Hey jixu,
Thanks.
I understand where you are coming from with language use. I use the word shame as I feel that, not another emotion. But yes maybe there is no need for it, little benefit.

I really appreciate your comment. It's kind of you. Wishing you well.

 

[achilles heel]

Try to pull yourself out of the downward spiral of negative emotions and thoughts... I know where you are and how your brain makes all kinds of stupid excuses to not get up but remain in the dirt... shame and self-hatred just hold you down... but every day counts and you can start to change things right now, step by step.

I've gone through that feeling of "It's day 0 anyway so another relapse won't matter because I have to start from nothing anyway" many times and it seems like you are there too... I also struggle for years with failed reboots and every relapse is damaging the belief in overcoming this addiction, but I read a quote by Thomas Edison that really helped me:

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Just get up and start again, think about what didn't work during your last reboot attempts and change those things for the better!

 

[Do or die]

Only you can change yourself. Believe in yourself. Not any other super natural power is going to help you. Only you can help yourself. Best luck bro.

 

[pichaelthompson]

We all feel shame towards ourselves when we relapse, but I will never scold or shame anyone for PMO'ing no matter what. This is because I understand the struggle, how it is hard beyond comprehension and logic. Know that whatever you are feeling, you have a community here that will always respect and support you just for trying and failing. Best of luck

 

[BlueHeronFan]

We all feel shame towards ourselves when we relapse, but I will never scold or shame anyone for PMO'ing no matter what. This is because I understand the struggle, how it is hard beyond comprehension and logic. Know that whatever you are feeling, you have a community here that will always respect and support you just for trying and failing. Best of luck

Definitely! The only thing shame does is keep us addicted. We're all making mistakes a long the way. Progress might be slow and frustrating, but you're still trying! Think of all the guys who are addicted to porn and aren't even doing anything about it. The fact that you're still going, even with bumps in the road, is huge. We're all dealing with the same stuff, and we're here with you.

 

[LeanAndBop]

Day 0
Thanks for support
The downward spiral continues
So in the habit of PMO it's so hard not to do
And not doing it requires constant effort
Oh well, will try get back on it
Taking St John's wart is helping depression
Best
Bop

 

[Lero]

Me too, man. I haven't been too successful either.

 

[Do or die]

We feel that when we are close to got relapsed , we think that start a new reboot from tomorrow and i can definitely do that.
But you don't remember that you did it already then why you wasting your first efforts by relapsing.
So i suggest you a mindful ness meditation about how life without porn is so beautiful than porn. Do it daily . because its a normal thing that human leave small things for large and more profitable things.
In your mind you know that if i start today i relapse tomorrow. This thinking is because of past experience. Create a new experience by not relapsing.
All the best..