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[Jaysun]

Hello everyone
My name is Jay. I am going through an addiction to porn. It all started masturbating before puberty. Then when I hit puberty. It was a whole different feeling. At first I didn't think of it. When I got married 3 years ago. It started to affect my love life and the physical with my wife. My wife found out 5 months into our marriage. She was upset she felt betrayed. At the time I thought I could handle it by my self. If I only knew it can't be done. This is my first time ever opening up about this I am nervous. I'm an intervert ,private, reclusive guy. I last watched porn this morning. I watched it on my blackberry. I have gotten rid of it. I am looking for some insight some feedback and solution. Take care everyone    J

 

[BlueHeronFan]

Welcome to the forum, man!

I've been around for a few months, and I'm also very introverted and private. It was a hard thing for me to join up here and post my story, but it's been one of the most helpful things for me. There are a lot of good supportive guys here with good insights and ideas.

This is a big important step. Thanks for your courage in reaching out. We're in this together, one day at a time!

 

[Jaysun]

Hey thanks.  Today is day one of no porn. It has been difficult. I will get through it. What do you do with technology. I can't have a smart phone. I have a flip phone now. I feel weird having one when everyone has a smartphone these days. My wife has locked me out of our desktop, laptop, tablet and her smartphone. I feel like these has been a smart move on her part.

 

[BlueHeronFan]

Congrats on day one! I used to think that I had to quit forever starting today, but then I always caved to the first round of big urges that came along. Switching my focus to just getting through today has really helped me to learn that those urges pass and that I can get through them. I know the goal is to be done with this stuff forever, but I've found I do better when I don't worry about forever and just focus on today. Keep it up!

Technology is a tough question. I know a lot of people do a lot of different things, but two things have worked for me especially well. I do have a smart phone, and I have it set up so that the browser only has access to specific websites that I've whitelisted (it blocks everything else.) My phone is the biggest culprit for me. I actually kind of admire you for getting rid of yours. It's a big step, but it seems like a smart one.

I've also had a lot of success with OpenDNS. It's a filtering service that you can set up either on your home router or your individual devices, and it can be set to block a wide range of things from porn to even gambling and violence. For me, it's been the best way to block porn sites (and other specific sites that give me trouble that aren't specifically for porn, like social media sites). It's free and effective, and you could even set it up so that your wife has the password if that's something that works for you.

I'm also very very single right now, but I think it's awesome that you're working through this with your wife. That seems like an important thing. I know that there are a lot of resources out there for partners and spouses of people dealing with PMO addiction. It might helpful to look into those as well since I'm sure she'll need support through this process too. (But you know your relationship way better than I do, so do what you think is right.)

Good luck with another day!

 

[Jaysun]

Hey man I am  3 day now. What does PMO stand for? How are you doing with your recovery?

 

[Lero]

Hey man I am  3 day now. What does PMO stand for? How are you doing with your recovery?

PMO means Porn Masturbation Orgasm. It is used by people when they talk about masturbating to orgasm while watching porn.

 

[BlueHeronFan]

Hey man I am  3 day now. What does PMO stand for? How are you doing with your recovery?

That's awesome! Keep it going! My recovery seems to be going better than it has in a long time, and I think there are two things that have been helping with that.

1) Posting here. It does me so much good to get my thoughts out of my head and see them for what they are. The input from other guys is also super helpful.

2) Paying more attention to my emotions and triggers. I used to just focus on cutting porn out of my life, but I've started realizing that porn is just a symptom of larger problems. Paying more attention to the kinds of emotions that come with lapses and being more careful about little triggers (like looking at women around town) has really helped me to keep things under control before they ever get to the PMO stage. (Sorry about the acronym, lol. I should have defined it the first time I used it)

Oh, and I've also been working on not believing that I'm "cured." Whenever I thought that I was cured I came crashing back down. Keeping my guard up every day and only focusing on today has made a big difference too.