L
Lero
Guest
Arthur2 said:Ah, tough love again.
Thank you.
haha
13 years of porn prison.. Peter's diary
- Thread starter PeterPoland
- Start date
haha
PeterPoland
Member
Relapsed... dunno why. At the morning I was happy 8 days without porn and did it again.
Omg..
Starting now then.. Pornography it's so hard to quit, but i won't give up..
Why I relapsed? I felt bad (depression, anxiety) sometimes i have unpleasant panic attacks.. (sweating, stomache, headache) and so on...
Then I was sad and bored and TURN OFF my anti-porn program and glimpsed just a bit, then more than a bit and ...... #@!#!!# $
As I said - here we go again..
Dissapointed though..
Omg..
Starting now then.. Pornography it's so hard to quit, but i won't give up..
Why I relapsed? I felt bad (depression, anxiety) sometimes i have unpleasant panic attacks.. (sweating, stomache, headache) and so on...
Then I was sad and bored and TURN OFF my anti-porn program and glimpsed just a bit, then more than a bit and ...... #@!#!!# $
As I said - here we go again..
Dissapointed though..
PeterPoland
Member
Again relapsed... ((
I try now the last time...
As usual --> feeling bad/social anxiety/depression --> pornography... Even thought I didn't want this I've done it.. Entered this website and then REMINDED myself about porn somehow i dunno.. like i said - last try now..
So pathethic. :-[ :-[ :-[
((I try now the last time...
As usual --> feeling bad/social anxiety/depression --> pornography... Even thought I didn't want this I've done it.. Entered this website and then REMINDED myself about porn somehow i dunno.. like i said - last try now..
So pathethic. :-[ :-[ :-[
Do or die
Respected Member
Don't say last time .
Learn your urge.
Be away from little bit doesn't heart.
Know that the thought of i will do it one more time after that i do reboot is dangerous.
Here the addiction starts.
If you leaved the addiction today then don't look it on any case.
Learn about how to handle urges.
You can do it. Don't blame yourself for relapse. Failure or success is not important. Your journey is important. May be this relapse is the first step towards your reboot. So be motivated. You can do it.
Learn your urge.
Be away from little bit doesn't heart.
Know that the thought of i will do it one more time after that i do reboot is dangerous.
Here the addiction starts.
If you leaved the addiction today then don't look it on any case.
Learn about how to handle urges.
You can do it. Don't blame yourself for relapse. Failure or success is not important. Your journey is important. May be this relapse is the first step towards your reboot. So be motivated. You can do it.
PeterPoland
Member
Omg I have noticed how much I am addicted to it.. Its such a battle. I promised to not relapsed but i did it on 3th October. Since then as usual I wanted to quit, but its so powerful. One side of me want to quit this for good and dont have anything in common. Second side wants to watch porn all the time... I had two days lets say watching nothing and then again i looked, switched it off and then switched it on.. Started masturbating, but after one minute somehow (by miracle) i turned it off ! Once I tried to masturbate without porn and I couldnt have an orgasm for 6 minutes lets say, while watching favorite porn actress and i am immediately aurosed.. i know i am addicted and i want to quit this. I think if I had a girlfriend and learn, experience all of this once again: touching, passion, hugging, kissing it would be much better for my case and help me to heal. Since I have depression and anxiety... i am alone for lets say 5 years and its like britney spears once sang: my loneliness is killing me ) As I mentioned before: Orgasm to porn 3th October, last glimpse at porn was today. Which date is good to start countdown ?? Today or 3th October ? Have a nice day. I believe i can do it.. whenever i will feel the urge then i go to gym to swimming pool. Whatever. I dont want this. 13 years is enough! I didnt say this because i was ashamed, but my sexual life sucks and when I had a girlfriend 4 years ago and we tried to do sth i couldnt get an erection.. then i come back to home switch on porn and was surprised because erection appeared. I want to quit this from many years.. I think i did good to register in here. Thank you guys for support.
) As I mentioned before: Orgasm to porn 3th October, last glimpse at porn was today. Which date is good to start countdown ?? Today or 3th October ? Have a nice day. I believe i can do it.. whenever i will feel the urge then i go to gym to swimming pool. Whatever. I dont want this. 13 years is enough! I didnt say this because i was ashamed, but my sexual life sucks and when I had a girlfriend 4 years ago and we tried to do sth i couldnt get an erection.. then i come back to home switch on porn and was surprised because erection appeared. I want to quit this from many years.. I think i did good to register in here. Thank you guys for support.
faenoe
Active Member
You have been addicted for a long time so it may be beneficial to set a small goal. Say 5 days or so? The small victories will build your confidence and show you that you DO have the power to QUIT.
You also need to realize that it isn't natural for your body to constantly fight resistance so you need to remove yourself from situations where you feel the urge. It is very difficult to not look at porn if you have been addicted for a while, are in a place where you PMO.
Keep fighting. Don't give up! I'm trying to quit too
You also need to realize that it isn't natural for your body to constantly fight resistance so you need to remove yourself from situations where you feel the urge. It is very difficult to not look at porn if you have been addicted for a while, are in a place where you PMO.
Keep fighting. Don't give up! I'm trying to quit too
PeterPoland
Member
Relapsed... Felt so lonely today.. Due to social anxiety, depression i don't have girlfriend..
Feel so horrible right now. It was thousand time when I said ENOUGH and I did no matter what..
I was as well alone in the house.. It increases my loneliness, next time go for a walk whatever..
Try number 5000 to quit porn starting......... now!
I will write here more often, i hope you don't mind it.
It's really messing with me, because i know people in my age are in relationships/they are having sex. I'm not looking bad, people say I'm handsome guy, but due to social anxiety and these mental problems i can't find a girl or i don't have confidence... I was bullied a lot in school and this is still inside me... I didn't have a girlfriend for 5 years or even more (because I was with one 2 months i didn't want lie to her i was honest I didn't felt anything (in heart and also in penis cause already then I had PIED...
I'm so sad right now. I will try to switch on some good music and calm my mind. Like I said: I lost buttle, but I will win the war... Even now when I wrote this last sentence I had little saying in my mind: "Yeaaaah... right". - addiction voice.
Feel so horrible right now. It was thousand time when I said ENOUGH and I did no matter what..
I was as well alone in the house.. It increases my loneliness, next time go for a walk whatever..
Try number 5000 to quit porn starting......... now!
I will write here more often, i hope you don't mind it.
It's really messing with me, because i know people in my age are in relationships/they are having sex. I'm not looking bad, people say I'm handsome guy, but due to social anxiety and these mental problems i can't find a girl or i don't have confidence... I was bullied a lot in school and this is still inside me... I didn't have a girlfriend for 5 years or even more (because I was with one 2 months i didn't want lie to her i was honest I didn't felt anything (in heart and also in penis cause already then I had PIED...
I'm so sad right now. I will try to switch on some good music and calm my mind. Like I said: I lost buttle, but I will win the war... Even now when I wrote this last sentence I had little saying in my mind: "Yeaaaah... right". - addiction voice.