LoloLaRoux
New Member
Hey guys, SO of a PA in denial over here, and a fellow (recovering/sober) addict myself! While I wasn't addicted to porn, I was addicted to alcohol and gambling. Hey, fun fact, did you know that gambling and pornography are considered the two MOST difficult addictions to recover from? It's because rather than becoming addicted to a physical substance that one can only have so much of before you potentially OD and risk dying, our brains can produce an endless supply of dopamine when we gamble and/or watch porn and there ain't no OD'ing from that! So all you PAs who are fighting hard to abstain, and stay sober from P, M, O, or any combination of the three, you guys are freaking badasses because you are fighting against one of the hardest addictions to overcome and I'm SO proud of all of you.
That being said?I wanted to share with you guys something that helped motivate me immensely when I was fighting against my gambling addiction, and that intense craving for that intensely euphoric, yet devastatingly soul-crushing dopamine high that made me fight harder than ever to stay strong?it is honestly pretty simple guys, all it took was knowing that every time I relapsed, and lost hundreds of dollars again at the casino, throwing away money we desperately needed, I hurt my SO, and made them feel deeply disappointed in me (and rightly so!) The pain and despair I felt when I confessed to him the day after I gambled and looked at the sadness in his eyes, the weariness in his voice as he said quietly, ?It?s okay babe, I?m not mad at you, I?m just?a little?disappointed.? I would?ve rather he screamed obscenities at me, told me he hated me, and just beat the hell out of me rather than make him disappointed in me. Instead of filling to the brim with bitter anger and self-loathing, instead of shaming myself, and succumbing to negative self-talk and discouragement, I instead chose to let his hurt, his pain, his disappointment in me motivate me to fight even harder.
So let her agony, her pain, her hurt, her tears, her insecurities, her disappointment, her mistrust, her bitterness, her fears, let all of that be the fuel for the flame inside of you that keeps you strong, and fighting against relapse. Think of us, the SOs of Pas, and how we suffer because of what your PA has made you do to us, how it?s made you betray us, the person you claim to love the most above anyone else?Think about the damage you do to our heart and souls, and our minds with all of your lies, your gaslighting, your manipulation, your ogling, your hiding. Think about the kind of person you?ve become because of your addiction and strive to become the good man your SO needs and wants you to be.
Another thing, fellow addicts, one thing that deeply resonated with me, and has kept me sober is for starters, learning how to hold myself accountable for my own actions, and maybe the most important thing I have learned is that IT IS A CHOICE GUYS. When you ?give in? to your urges, and cravings, when shit gets tough, you are making a CHOICE to relapse. We are not helpless and powerless in the fight against our addictions. WE are the ones who hold all the power; nobody and I mean NOBODY is holding a gun to your head, and FORCING you to watch porn, you are making the choice to relapse, to give in and take the easy way out when it get?s hard, and you feel like shit and don?t want to do the hard work it takes to stay sober. Addiction is a powerful force, but you know what? We?re stronger than it by a thousand times. You guys have NO idea just how strong you all are, but I know. I know your strength, and I truly, deeply, 100% believe in all of you, and know without a doubt that all of you struggling with PA can recover and stay strong and sober!! Keep up the hard work friends!
Edit: Oh, and I CANNOT emphasize this enough...Seriously, even though I GET it, STOP FUCKING LYING AND HIDING YOUR RELAPSES FROM YOUR SOs!!! Get it through your thick skulls that what hurts SOs of PAs more than the relapse itself is THE LYING AND HIDING THINGS FROM US. You want your SO to ever trust you again?? Then STOP. FUCKING. LYING. It's as simple as that.
That being said?I wanted to share with you guys something that helped motivate me immensely when I was fighting against my gambling addiction, and that intense craving for that intensely euphoric, yet devastatingly soul-crushing dopamine high that made me fight harder than ever to stay strong?it is honestly pretty simple guys, all it took was knowing that every time I relapsed, and lost hundreds of dollars again at the casino, throwing away money we desperately needed, I hurt my SO, and made them feel deeply disappointed in me (and rightly so!) The pain and despair I felt when I confessed to him the day after I gambled and looked at the sadness in his eyes, the weariness in his voice as he said quietly, ?It?s okay babe, I?m not mad at you, I?m just?a little?disappointed.? I would?ve rather he screamed obscenities at me, told me he hated me, and just beat the hell out of me rather than make him disappointed in me. Instead of filling to the brim with bitter anger and self-loathing, instead of shaming myself, and succumbing to negative self-talk and discouragement, I instead chose to let his hurt, his pain, his disappointment in me motivate me to fight even harder.
So let her agony, her pain, her hurt, her tears, her insecurities, her disappointment, her mistrust, her bitterness, her fears, let all of that be the fuel for the flame inside of you that keeps you strong, and fighting against relapse. Think of us, the SOs of Pas, and how we suffer because of what your PA has made you do to us, how it?s made you betray us, the person you claim to love the most above anyone else?Think about the damage you do to our heart and souls, and our minds with all of your lies, your gaslighting, your manipulation, your ogling, your hiding. Think about the kind of person you?ve become because of your addiction and strive to become the good man your SO needs and wants you to be.
Another thing, fellow addicts, one thing that deeply resonated with me, and has kept me sober is for starters, learning how to hold myself accountable for my own actions, and maybe the most important thing I have learned is that IT IS A CHOICE GUYS. When you ?give in? to your urges, and cravings, when shit gets tough, you are making a CHOICE to relapse. We are not helpless and powerless in the fight against our addictions. WE are the ones who hold all the power; nobody and I mean NOBODY is holding a gun to your head, and FORCING you to watch porn, you are making the choice to relapse, to give in and take the easy way out when it get?s hard, and you feel like shit and don?t want to do the hard work it takes to stay sober. Addiction is a powerful force, but you know what? We?re stronger than it by a thousand times. You guys have NO idea just how strong you all are, but I know. I know your strength, and I truly, deeply, 100% believe in all of you, and know without a doubt that all of you struggling with PA can recover and stay strong and sober!! Keep up the hard work friends!
Edit: Oh, and I CANNOT emphasize this enough...Seriously, even though I GET it, STOP FUCKING LYING AND HIDING YOUR RELAPSES FROM YOUR SOs!!! Get it through your thick skulls that what hurts SOs of PAs more than the relapse itself is THE LYING AND HIDING THINGS FROM US. You want your SO to ever trust you again?? Then STOP. FUCKING. LYING. It's as simple as that.
