I am Addict

[hopefulhusband]

It feels good to say that I am an addict...Good and bad I guess. I have been addicted to porn for about 12 years. I use it way less now than I did when I was in college, but I still look at it every 1-2 months, and I had started looking at live web cams of actual people on sites where they would do things for money...that has got to be a sad life.

I think that a lot of my problems stem from not feeling accepted in high school. I was always a bit of a nerd and never really fit in. I did not get a lot of attention from girls, and I think this was what caused me to first start looking at porn.

I am trying yet again to break free FOR LIFE. I would be grateful to have an accountability partner.

 

[Gabe Deem]

@ hopefulhusband

I would be grateful to have an accountability partner.

Have a look through the Accountability partner section for this age group here -  http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=359.0

Read the first post then request a partner if you can't find someone else looking for one.

I'm glad you found this community and I hope you find all the help and encouragement you need here. I highly suggest learning about porn addiction and how it can re-wire and numb the brain. Regardless of "why" you started watching porn, the brain changes are still a reality and understanding this can be very beneficial for rebooters.

Welcome to the Nation my man.

 

[hopefulhusband]

Thanks. I will have to post on there.

One small slip up today after my wife ignored me...my goal over the next month will be to identify triggers and work to stay busy doing other things when these occur.

I realize there are very real changes in the brain with addiction, and it will take a while for the brain to normalize. I also think it is good to explore the root of the problem.

 

[hopefulhusband]

Doing well for the most part. I have found out that I can no longer go to the Fox news website because they always have pics on there that are triggers for me.

I have found a podcast called pure sex which has been helpful for my reboot. They were talking about how most addicts have a problem attaching to others, and this is part of the reason why people fail at getting out of addiction. I have tried to start actively working on attaching to real people, especially when I feel bored.

 

[hopefulhusband]

I have been doing really well. Some temptation 3-5 minutes of acting on it with no masturbation afterwards. I spent the whole day today with my family and am somewhat overwhelmed by the emotions I feel for my children and wife.

I am realizing more and more that porn robs us of that. I am understanding my triggers and trying to stay away from them (staying busy instead of having time to get bored is probably the biggest one.

At what point can you say that you have ever really kicked this addiction. I have tried numerous times and have been successful for months at a time only to binge when I fall. I don't want to do that again...