Starting Recovery Again

Hello everyone,

I'm joined the forum because I wanted to start my recovery again.  I had a go 7 years ago and even had some therapy but I slipped back into denial.  I certainly have issues with depression and low self-esteem which go back to early childhood.  I developed an eating disorder and I'm fairly sure that I was compulsively using fantasy and masturbation to self-sooth well before I had access to broadband internet.  It was as a teenager, with snatched moments looking at porn on dial up internet, when my sex addiction started.  I had an immediate feeling of being out of control and that "this could go anywhere".  I got into acting out BDSM fantasies on myself that seriously shocked me.  I caused a minor injury to myself that I didn't feel able to seek help with for years and, as an already mentally ill young man young man, the experience of being ashamed, scared and alone really shook me up. I got access to broadband internet in my late teens and my behaviour quickly escalated.  I didn't know what was going on or what to do.  I felt like a sick person.  I felt overwhelmed with shame and I'm pretty sure that I had a few mental breakdowns over it.  But my porn use continued in spite of that.

When I found out about sex/porn addiction in 2010, it was, at first a relief but my self-esteem was so low and had been so damaged by the porn addiction that I was unable to work on recovery and I went back into denial.

But I've reached the point where enough is enough now.  I want to cut out the porn use, start taking care of myself and build up my my self-respect.  I'm 37 and I'm nowhere near where I could have been in life.  Some of my problems are undoubtedly due to the depression that I suffered from all my life.  But I may have been able to move on from those issues and address it if it hadn't been for the sex/porn addiction.  I certainly need to address the porn addiction before I can deal with anything else.

I'm getting help again.  I have so many regrets at being unable to make use of treatment all those years ago.  I'm trying again now though and that's what I need to focus on.
 

malando

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Hi TF1, welcome to the forum. You are certainly not alone with what you describe. I think most of us here can relate to most of what you said. It's a profound and debilitating thing to be addicted to porn, and it affects us in many ways that are deeply embedded well before we actually discover that porn is harmful to us. By that stage we have built our lives around it and it is a huge challenge to get it out of our lives. But people can and do give it up. It takes complete commitment and determination, but it can be done. So stick round and share and visit often - you will need support and engagement to quit this thing. Best wishes, M.
 
Top