Spaceghost
New Member
Hey guys.
I am 33. Been watching internet porn for about 7 or 8 years and used to buy lots of DVD's and videos before that so I am definitely addicted.
I really want to quit for several reasons:
1: It is causing ED.
2: My porn use has escalated to tranny porn etc and it is getting to the point where I don't seem to see it as wrong anymore (I think I crossed the line a few too many times).
3: I am 33 and have never had a girlfriend and I really want one and I don't know if quitting porn and successfully rebooting will help but I am convinced that it would at least play a crucial role.
4: I don't want to waste my life away watching porn
.
5: I don't want to feel so needy for porn and I don't wanna have these disgusting images going through my mind.
6: I want to focus my mind on improving my life and improving myself
I tried to reboot recently and was going well but I caved in but I recognise what triggered it.
I was on day 16 and was in spin class and my balls were rubbing up on the bike seat and I really felt like I was going to blow in my pants. I was not erect but I had this overwhelming sense that my balls were full of semen and that any second I was gonna get rock hard and it was all gonna come out in my shorts and ooze onto the seat and down the bike. I managed to get through it and then the next day I was at the gym just working out and had the same feeling. I felt like I could beat the addiction but after the gym I went home and jerked off in the shower and used a bit of fantasy to get myself off but I would say that the main reason I did this was not because I was getting weak minded but because I was scared that I was actually going to lose my load when I was at the gym or in public somewhere. I mean, imagine wearing your gym shorts and then involuntarily blowing your load at the gym and it oozing down your leg etc.
Anyway that was day 17 and then I managed another 10 days of no porn/masturbating/fantasy etc but then I saw some really hot girl on youtube accidentally and I got aroused really quickly and that was it. I went another 5 days and could not get that girl out of my mind so I went to another one of her videos and jerked off again. Then a day or so later instead of going back to straight porn my brain wanted to go straight to tranny stuff straight away. I thought I had given my brain at least enough time to taper of the extreme stuff but I guess not. This is gonna take along time.
So, one of the biggest concerns I have right now is about involuntarily blowing your load in your pants. Has this happened to anyone? Because that is the main reason I caved in this time (because I was scared of it all coming out so I jerked off). How do I deal with this without it affecting my reboot? And also, is this actually likely to happen or is this common to feel this way and it actually does not happen? Or has anyone actually blown in their pants involuntarily? I am not talking about wet dreams (I don't care if it happens while I am asleep at home).
Also, I really don't know if I can go 90 days or so without masturbating. I think I could go without porn but not masturbating for 90 days does seem impossible to me. What would happen if I jerked off like once every 2-3 weeks over a period 0f 90-120 days with no porn/fantasy etc?
I really want to beat this though and I really want a real life girlfriend. At 33 I feel kind of pathetic that I have been jerking off and watching porn this whole time and never had the real thing.
Any advice guys?
I am 33. Been watching internet porn for about 7 or 8 years and used to buy lots of DVD's and videos before that so I am definitely addicted.
I really want to quit for several reasons:
1: It is causing ED.
2: My porn use has escalated to tranny porn etc and it is getting to the point where I don't seem to see it as wrong anymore (I think I crossed the line a few too many times).
3: I am 33 and have never had a girlfriend and I really want one and I don't know if quitting porn and successfully rebooting will help but I am convinced that it would at least play a crucial role.
4: I don't want to waste my life away watching porn
.
5: I don't want to feel so needy for porn and I don't wanna have these disgusting images going through my mind.
6: I want to focus my mind on improving my life and improving myself
I tried to reboot recently and was going well but I caved in but I recognise what triggered it.
I was on day 16 and was in spin class and my balls were rubbing up on the bike seat and I really felt like I was going to blow in my pants. I was not erect but I had this overwhelming sense that my balls were full of semen and that any second I was gonna get rock hard and it was all gonna come out in my shorts and ooze onto the seat and down the bike. I managed to get through it and then the next day I was at the gym just working out and had the same feeling. I felt like I could beat the addiction but after the gym I went home and jerked off in the shower and used a bit of fantasy to get myself off but I would say that the main reason I did this was not because I was getting weak minded but because I was scared that I was actually going to lose my load when I was at the gym or in public somewhere. I mean, imagine wearing your gym shorts and then involuntarily blowing your load at the gym and it oozing down your leg etc.
Anyway that was day 17 and then I managed another 10 days of no porn/masturbating/fantasy etc but then I saw some really hot girl on youtube accidentally and I got aroused really quickly and that was it. I went another 5 days and could not get that girl out of my mind so I went to another one of her videos and jerked off again. Then a day or so later instead of going back to straight porn my brain wanted to go straight to tranny stuff straight away. I thought I had given my brain at least enough time to taper of the extreme stuff but I guess not. This is gonna take along time.
So, one of the biggest concerns I have right now is about involuntarily blowing your load in your pants. Has this happened to anyone? Because that is the main reason I caved in this time (because I was scared of it all coming out so I jerked off). How do I deal with this without it affecting my reboot? And also, is this actually likely to happen or is this common to feel this way and it actually does not happen? Or has anyone actually blown in their pants involuntarily? I am not talking about wet dreams (I don't care if it happens while I am asleep at home).
Also, I really don't know if I can go 90 days or so without masturbating. I think I could go without porn but not masturbating for 90 days does seem impossible to me. What would happen if I jerked off like once every 2-3 weeks over a period 0f 90-120 days with no porn/fantasy etc?
I really want to beat this though and I really want a real life girlfriend. At 33 I feel kind of pathetic that I have been jerking off and watching porn this whole time and never had the real thing.
Any advice guys?
and in now that you ve identified your triggers, maybe avoid youtube and website such as this one.