C
Clover
Guest
Hello everyone.
I've done it again today even thought I'd sworn I'd never do it. I guess you guys understand what I'm talking about. The 'finish' didn't even feel good. Instead of it I felt really sad. I just can't quit all alone. And this is why I'm writing this post.
I'm 23 years old. I've started mastutbating at the age of 12 as far as I remember. I didn't watch Porn back then. I just started touching it till the end, heh. But of course, some time after I found a VHR with Porn in the cupboard. And this is where it all started. I didn't like what I saw at first and even wanted to puke but I kept watching, teaching myself to 'like' it. You know, just like with cigarettes. At first you cough and hate it but suddenly you realise that you've got an urge to smoke.
I've watched tons of videos since then. I could spend a whole day masturbating in front of the TV.
I had my first girlfriend at 15 and she was a bit older and more experienced than me. I've just realised, while writing this post, I've started having these ED problems back than. At 15 years old! I was scared, I couldn't get it up with a real girl. Anxiety etc.. All these things we've read about on YBOP. But I somehow managed to actually have an intercoarse with a very weak erection. I had a couple of girls afterwards but I always needed some time to get used to a girl. Now, I understand what was happening. It was my brain trying to rewire, to react at a real willing partner. But the problem stayed. I couldn't get it up for a couple of first times. Yes, it was not a single time.
I've ruined a relationship with a girl I was terribly in love with a couple of years later. Just because I couldn't do it. I couldn't have sex with her, being always unaware about my erection. With Porn, of course, I don't have this problem.
And so it continued right to our days.
I want to quit Porn. I want to quit this drug I've been on for the most part of my life for the sake of the future. I want to get married to a normal woman. I want to have children. I want to feel free and motivated. I just can't take it anymore. I know that if I fail it my future family is unlikely to happen at all. Because after an orgasm while watching Porn I just don't want to do anything for a couple of hours.
I need your help guys. You're the only ones I've ever told about my problem. Together, we can make it.
This is my day one.
I've deleted everything, cancelled all subscriptions, everything.
Sorry for the mistakes, English is not my native language.
I've done it again today even thought I'd sworn I'd never do it. I guess you guys understand what I'm talking about. The 'finish' didn't even feel good. Instead of it I felt really sad. I just can't quit all alone. And this is why I'm writing this post.
I'm 23 years old. I've started mastutbating at the age of 12 as far as I remember. I didn't watch Porn back then. I just started touching it till the end, heh. But of course, some time after I found a VHR with Porn in the cupboard. And this is where it all started. I didn't like what I saw at first and even wanted to puke but I kept watching, teaching myself to 'like' it. You know, just like with cigarettes. At first you cough and hate it but suddenly you realise that you've got an urge to smoke.
I've watched tons of videos since then. I could spend a whole day masturbating in front of the TV.
I had my first girlfriend at 15 and she was a bit older and more experienced than me. I've just realised, while writing this post, I've started having these ED problems back than. At 15 years old! I was scared, I couldn't get it up with a real girl. Anxiety etc.. All these things we've read about on YBOP. But I somehow managed to actually have an intercoarse with a very weak erection. I had a couple of girls afterwards but I always needed some time to get used to a girl. Now, I understand what was happening. It was my brain trying to rewire, to react at a real willing partner. But the problem stayed. I couldn't get it up for a couple of first times. Yes, it was not a single time.
I've ruined a relationship with a girl I was terribly in love with a couple of years later. Just because I couldn't do it. I couldn't have sex with her, being always unaware about my erection. With Porn, of course, I don't have this problem.
And so it continued right to our days.
I want to quit Porn. I want to quit this drug I've been on for the most part of my life for the sake of the future. I want to get married to a normal woman. I want to have children. I want to feel free and motivated. I just can't take it anymore. I know that if I fail it my future family is unlikely to happen at all. Because after an orgasm while watching Porn I just don't want to do anything for a couple of hours.
I need your help guys. You're the only ones I've ever told about my problem. Together, we can make it.
This is my day one.
I've deleted everything, cancelled all subscriptions, everything.
Sorry for the mistakes, English is not my native language.
