Out of the cage - 26 years


Hello, i am an addicted to porn since i am 12. But before that i already was addicted to masturbation since i had 5/7 years old.

I discovered that i was an addicted when i was 18/20 years old. Since then i tried to stop, but unfortunately i couldn't. My best was when i achieved around 120 days, but since then i can't barely pass the 1 week mark. i already was a member here but dropped, i was so ashamed to keep falling over and over.

I suffer from social anxious, DE, low energy, lower back pain e the list goes on...

I admit that i improved very much in my social skills in college, but still these days i suffer from social anxious.

This addiction almost made me dropout college, made me feel nothing in my grandmother funerals, its getting away the intimacy with my girlfriend, in fact our dating is almost over, in part because of that and in part because i am conditioned to never be satisfied with sex, always wanting more and more, and far from intimacy. And because she has endometriosis, so we cant have sex until she gets better, which lead me to cheat her with whores and see it as simples at the time, like a fucking monster. She knows that i am addicted since the beginign but i didnt tell her that i relapsed several times and about the betrayal

i shared my struggle with two friends, one of them are a addicted too

Besides that i am collapsing in my studys to pass a public contest (to work in the government).

I tried every day this year to quit this, made some improvements but couldnt so far.

i saw youtube videos yesterday about recovery and porn. it was very good to be more aware of the garbage behind porn (rapping, human trafficking and etc), but the video which that really touched me was a ted talk from a a addicted to drugs and alcohol, that was sober around 15 years and became a sucessful CEO.

And he learned that to stay clean he had to practice three principles from AA

rigorous authenticity
surrender the outcome
do uncomfortable work

i dont know if i will be capable to commit to these principles everyday but i will try to stick with that this time. Sometimes i cant see a good outcome from this addiction, but i want to get better, even if it is the 398 attempt, i dont know, but i have to try one more time.

srry for my english, i am from brazil and i am learning

i commit to post here during the first week whatever the outcome



Well-Known Member
Welcome and congratulations on making the decision to get your life back. You have already listed all the reasons why you wanna quit. I think this is one of the most important things to have a real shot on beating this addiction. Always remind yourself why you want to quit, so you ensure yourself that it will be worth it.
Good luck to you. Hope to hear from you again.


Thanks Jeks and Tim2911.

Yeah, i feel that its pretty easy to fall in love with this addiction, you kinda just see the good benefits, but ignore the bad part.

Yesterday i told the truth about my addiction to my ex. We are still talking to see if we will keep together or not.

I did read a lot the forum yesterday and today, i did keep this practice when i got by best mark, so i will keep it this time again. I feel like that i gain more willpower with the knowledge and from the feeling that i am not alone.

I did study a little yesterday and today, but i feel like a lost my capability to focus for long hours, so i gotta be patient about it.