Quick Question

[RSV]

Hello guys, this is my first message on this website, i just have a small question:

Started to reboot 96 days ago, my goal is to complete 120 days free of PMO ... however last saturday watched some P for about 30 seconds, since my smartphone was unlocked and allowed me to surf over the internet... watched 2 videos for about 30 seconds each (without MO, just P)... does this count as a relapse?? ... must confess that i felt horrible after that and i never want to do this again... Porn only brings you pain and suffering... and anxiety and bad feelings...

Thank you for your time... cheers!

 

[realfakeusername]

To me that sounds like a lot of self control. How you get your victories from P is up to us individually to a large degree. As long as we are being honest with ourselves. That's just my opinion and I'm a noob here.

 

[Numez]

That is not a relapse but it could be a sign that your brain is going for spinning elbows. Keep your distance and keep your guard up.

Its good that you feel awful for it, its something to worry about. You should worry about those few seconds for the next few weeks because those 30 seconds are more powerful than you can visualize. Few seconds can turn into few years, ask some people around here (including me) if you are not sure about it.

 

[ratgeezer300]

I hate to break it to you but personally, I would count this as a relapse - the idea is to go 120 days with no PMO because you want the neuronal pathways that cause your addiction to wither and die - you want them to be starved of stimulation but unfortunately they would have fired during those 30 seconds per video.

Does it mean that you're back to where you started on Day 0 brain wiring wise? No. Those 96 days would still have moved you forward but to completely get rid of this disease, I'd advise that you start again and aim for an unbroken run of 120 days.

Keep in mind, however, that those 120 days are arbitrary and it differs for everyone - you may need less days but you may need more.

 

[RSV]

Hello again...

Thank you for your answers....

after 97 days of no SEX or MASTURBATION... but watched porn and hot pictures... decided to go back to day ''0'' ... i think it's the best decision... i really don't like the idea of wait another 120 days without sex since these 97 days were too hard... however... i think i must do the reboot fair and square... i want to feel that i've done this without cheating myself... thank you very much for your answer!!

Cheers!!

 

[ratgeezer300]

I think that's a good idea, painful a decision as it is - you don't wanna look back at the end and think 'did i do it right?' you wanna leave yourself no doubt that you did it right bro

 

[RSV]

YES ... it is!! but i must fight for my soul !! been a slave of PMO for years! and i really need to eliminate this CURSE ... when pleasure ends ... it only causes pain and suffering... fear and anxiety ... loneliness .... the worst mistake of my life... but GOD and JESUS himself are with us... really appreciate your responses Mr. Deem answered the question as well, so i guess i MUST go back to day 0... thank you!

Is This A Relapse..Was That A Relapse...What is a Relapse?

- A relapse is when you intentionally look at porn. If you accidentally come across porn that is not a relapse, if you keep watching/looking at it that is a relapse.

- Everytime we come across porn and say no we streangthen our frontal cortex (decision making), but it is probably wise to avoid everything containing sexual content for awhile. If you play with fire eventually you're gunna get burned.

 

[imsorrynotsorry]

Hello RSV,

120 days of no PMO is a good goal. I'll advice you to think further, what shall happen after that? The closer you get to the goal, the more it is likely that relapsing is okay. 96 days, maybe you felt a bit too save in the end? Sorry to say this a bit directly.

120 days are good for rewiring, after that you need more goals to achieve. After rewiring comes recovery and changing life habits for good. I'm just saying, the journey of getting away from P is longer than 120 days.

 

[RSV]

Yes, it's not just 120 days... i know this can take years... these 120 days will be only for re-wiring purposes... can be more because i have to find a woman to have sex :3 ... a moment ago i just felt the urge to break this new reboot (already on day 5) ... but thank the LORD i didn't do it... this mini-P session of 30 secs last week really affected me to anxiety ... but i will fight!! along with you guys!!

Thank you! cheers!

 

[imsorrynotsorry]

Totally understandable. With interrupting the process to PMO you achieved a major point. That, even you are P-controlled you habe been able to break the habit. This must be trained like a muscle. I remember me sitting there well prepared and then said NO!

Reach 10 days, write down what you feel. It helps. Do you have a journal?

 

[RSV]

Hello again:

Sorry for my late reply...

Unfortunately... i'm starting a new reboot since today... i have fallen and fallen but i won't give up! i will reach 120 days PMO free one way or another... i do have a journal... i will be more active on the site to look for information... since this was the cause for me to relapse... i really appreciate your support!

Cheers, have a good day!

 

[imsorrynotsorry]

Hey, good you're back.

We've all come to known what it's like to face that stopping is nothing we can control anymore. The deepness of the addiction is unknown for all of us. Maybe you're discovering that right now?

I've never been to hard on myself when giving into PMO back in the days, when it was regular for me. I just tried to control the parts that i was able to. The idea to quit it definitely i was feeding over time until i felt i really need to do this to go on in my life. The decision still feels good.

Come here whenever you like, post in your journal, even if it's just a memo for you.

Imsor