This is probably the longest I've gone without masturbating in at least 10 years. I've dedicated a lot of my time and attention to recovering from my sex/porn addiction. I definitely have powerful urges that set on throughout the day but I feel myself battling these urges more strategically every day. Yesterday was especially hard but I took measures to ensure I wouldn't relapse (I had to leave work early). Aside from joining reboot nation, I also attend sex addicts anonymous meetings twice a week. My biggest struggles so far are noticing attractive women when out and about and dealing with boredom. I also struggle with regular sexual fantasies about my wife. It's not that being sexually attracted to my wife is a bad thing, but the frequency and the details of my fantasies seem selfishly absurd. I don't want to expect sex. I want sex with my wife to be about both of us expressing our love, not just about me getting off. I hope 90 days of abstinence will change my outlook on sex. Just felt like pouring it out on the forum today. Hopefully encouragement for those of you who read this. Please, post your words of encouragement and tell me how you guys make it through each day.
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Day 10 still chugging
- Thread starter Mbg
- Start date
Yeah. I still have the grumpy thing going on. Much better in the last couple of days, but I almost did some things at work that could have gotten me into trouble. It's starting to fade.
I have read enough to feel like this is pretty common. I would get stressed out, and immediately find some porn. I could close the door to my office and PMO at work. Sometimes two or three times a day. And I felt better. I didn't know about the dopamine and all that at the time. I honestly thought it was normal. Or my messed up head let me believe it was. It's a powerful sedative, as I'm sure many addictive drugs are. But it's an easy way out. And one that messes up so much.
God, how I wish I had known the damage it could do. But I'm grateful to know the way forward. Hang in there.
I have read enough to feel like this is pretty common. I would get stressed out, and immediately find some porn. I could close the door to my office and PMO at work. Sometimes two or three times a day. And I felt better. I didn't know about the dopamine and all that at the time. I honestly thought it was normal. Or my messed up head let me believe it was. It's a powerful sedative, as I'm sure many addictive drugs are. But it's an easy way out. And one that messes up so much.
God, how I wish I had known the damage it could do. But I'm grateful to know the way forward. Hang in there.
I have had a similar problem. PMO at work has been the root of my problems, though I know my sex addiction started long ago. I would PMO in my work van, also, several times a day. The risks were great but my compulsion was far too great and my addiction took hold. I had tried to tell myself to quit and yet I failed to. Even as I type now at home alone, the temptation to PMO is there. I am beginning to recognize when I'm getting triggered and when even the smallest fantasy sets in, I take action to busy my mind. I get on here on the forum and talk it through. I read my sex addicts anonymous book to help me remember my goals. It's like a snap back into reality. We can change and live healthier lives when we learn how to dedicate ourselves to recovery. That's what I'm learning to do.Jijnyasu said:Yeah. I still have the grumpy thing going on. Much better in the last couple of days, but I almost did some things at work that could have gotten me into trouble. It's starting to fade.
I have read enough to feel like this is pretty common. I would get stressed out, and immediately find some porn. I could close the door to my office and PMO at work. Sometimes two or three times a day. And I felt better. I didn't know about the dopamine and all that at the time. I honestly thought it was normal. Or my messed up head let me believe it was. It's a powerful sedative, as I'm sure many addictive drugs are. But it's an easy way out. And one that messes up so much.
God, how I wish I had known the damage it could do. But I'm grateful to know the way forward. Hang in there.
Mbg said:Please, post your words of encouragement and tell me how you guys make it through each day.
Remind yourself that you have accepted the challenge, made a decision, and intend to stick to it.
Then find pleasure in the feeling of self control each day.
Good luck.
Exactly!jjhh said:Mbg said:Please, post your words of encouragement and tell me how you guys make it through each day.
Remind yourself that you have accepted the challenge, made a decision, and intend to stick to it.
Then find pleasure in the feeling of self control each day.
Good luck.