Did I ruin my reboot?

[NobodyInParticular]

I started my reboot officially on 9/8/2014. It was actually a few weeks before September 8th that I had my last fix. On September 8th I took measures to get rid of all sexual stimulation. I spoke to my wife and we decided that anything with a woman that would be clad in a less than modest way (department store underwear ads, websites with any sort of ad on the side, etc.) One thing in particular was Facebook. Anyways... On the sixth and seventh day of reboot I could not stop being turned on by sleeping next to my wife, so naturally we caved to our urges, both days. So we started over but today, on the fifth day again, sleeping next to my wife again, I could not stop from getting an erection. I didn't give in but I felt sexually charged all day thinking about her. I was surfing Facebook and there was a little ad on the bottom of the page that talked about women that had their clothes painted on and that I wouldn't believe what I could and couldn't see. I clicked on it (I think I knew what I was clicking on when I clicked it, but it wasn't with the intent of looking at porn.) I saw the pics, the woman was attractive and I felt sexually excited without erection, but I felt an excitement and a sort of tingle that one would get right before climax. I am not sure if I am ruining my reboot or what... Will someone please give me some guidance on this? I have experienced erectile dysfunction as a result of the addiction, but if I am supposed to stay completely away from everything this may not be possible. Also, I may have to move into a different room if my wife is included on this list. Please advise...

 

[persian29]

well obviously you are not suffering from PIED. So, my recommendation is to just kick the porn and stay with the wife and dont feel guilty about it but proud and strong!

 

[Promise]

Doing it once probably hasn't ruined your reboot, however, it seems to me to be a clear porn substitute.  That excitement or rush you feel is dopamine, which is the drug you're addicted to.  When you browse for pictures of scantily clad ladies, you're getting that dopamine surge, which is keeping your addiction topped up, so to speak.  The idea of a reboot is to starve your addiction of dopamine so that your neural reward pathways resensitize to regular stimuli.

 

[Mbg]

I think we all have different ideas of what abstinence means for ourselves, and that's ok.  My goal has been to completely do away with MO and I have a 60 day goal to abstain from sex with my wife, but I too struggle sleeping next to her.  They will trigger us, it's inevitable.  The goal is to set up clear boundaries and stick to them.  In this case I agree with the OP, your seeking out of those pictures was your brain seeking dopamine.  Porn in a porn addicted brain can be anything you are seeking to quench your desires.  Facebook, advertisements, tv, etc, can all trigger us.  It's best to recognize when you begin feeling triggered and snap yourself back into reality.  Getting on here and talking it out is a big help.  Talk with your wife and explain how you are feeling.  If you need to leave the room for a bit and refocus do so without hesitation.  I nearly caved last night in bed with my wife but my intuition told me to stay strong and I resisted.  It's all about taking action to fight off the urges when they begin to set in.  If you are clicking on explicit ads, the triggers most likely set in before that. 

 

[NobodyInParticular]

OP here: I caved again after I made the original post. As soon as my wife came home. I am off from porn, I haven't watched or looked at anything that could remotely be pornographic (TV, internet, anything!) for five weeks now, with the exception of the painted woman and caving to my wife. I can't bear this any longer. I am so sexually charged that I am going to explode, and I can't get an erection to anything but my wife now. What is going on with me!? Please advise...

P.S. I know it's not a bad thing to not be able to get an erection to anything but my wife, but I am talking about fantasizing or anything else; even when she is the fantasy. I can't get an erection to anything but her physical presence.

 

[Jijnyasu]

Advice: Spend more time with wife. Sounds good to me.

 

[NobodyInParticular]

Alright, I get it, thank you for the responses. After going through the FAQ's I think I have answered most of my questions. You have to forgive me though. I think this high anxiety and tension is part of the withdrawal symptoms. I now know what to do.