We will achieve freedom, be sure! (journal)

[Icandoit]

I think it's because of my obsession with fantasizing out of thin air. At the beginning it starts from a fantasy with a girl in a cafe, a nice little discussion and then comes to a daring sexual fantasy. I get excited, I think about porn, I hesitate then I relapse.

Definitely. I have a similar problem. Porn fantasies and flashbacks stimulate the addicted brain and work the dopamine, that's why it's best to be dealt with. It's not easy, though. In my case, it's been the hardest part of my recovery attempt. I do a pretty good job at staying away from deliberately searching for content but the "porn in my head" always got to me. I can't count how many times I've relapsed because I engaged too much with fantasies and flashbacks. But it's definitely something we must tone down. Those fantasies and flashbacks will pop up in our mind, we can't avoid it, because it's part of the withdrawal, it's the addiction's attempt to make you feed it dopamine and get to the strongest stuff that it likes, but we have to spend as little time as possible with them because it's a slippery slope. I'll try to "look away" when those things come into my head or something.

 

[Icandoit]

Since I am on this forum, I learned that two things were extremely effective against the urge to relapse during the restart: rewiring and the fact of exercising a high level sport to spend energy without it not used for anything else ...

Definitely. I think those urges are a form of energy and it's easier if you do something with it. I can't count how many times I've relapsed because I just sat down, trying to negotiate with the urges to leave me alone and failed in the end because I think willpower can take you so far only. It's like a muscle that works well for a while but then it gets tired. We need more than willpower to beat this shit. We need to find some strategies. Of course, willpower has a place in everything but it's just a piece of the puzzle. You need the determination and will to do it but then you also need a plan to follow.

 

[Anti-porn FR]

DAY 3:

I relapsed again...

 

[Anti-porn FR]

DAY 3:

Let's rebooting seriously !

 

[Anti-porn FR]

I would really like some support. I can no longer find the motivation to reboot or the determination to succeed. A few tips to stay motivated would not be too much.

 

[AStansfield]

Spend 15 minutes writing where you want to be in 1 year. Include how you'll get there and what are the things you'll do to get there.

Then spend 15 minutes writing a seperate piece on where you will be in 1 year if you continue negative habits like PMO or whatever you feel is dragging you down.

Then finally make a step by step plan on how you're going to accomplish the goals and avoid the pitfalls. Sign off with your signature and that is your mission statement!

Good luck!

 

[Gabe Deem]

Hey Anti-porn FR,

I second what AStansfield just suggested. We all need a little "heaven" to run towards, and a litle "hell" to run a away from.

I also just posted this video to give motivation to those wanting/trying to quit porn. I hope you find it helpful:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q34mV6vkKBs

 

[Anti-porn FR]

GABE DEEM ANSWERED ME ! I wasn't ready...

I have alteady seen this vid?o. I'm following the reboot nation channel on youtube. Thanks from France for all the work you did for us.

I'll do what you offered me AStansfield. It is true that I never thought of finding something for myself that would remind me of the importance of this fight and why I am fighting PMO.

 

[Anti-porn FR]

DAY 1:

I come back this time with the firm intention of rebooting successfully. It is imperative that I remain strict in what I have established. The discipline that I have acquired on the subject of pornography will help me to deviate from it.
Remind myself of any possible triggers, move towards high intensity sport and rewiring in order to forget about the PMO, control my thoughts and fantasies at all costs, fill my days with various activities to avoid thinking about the way I I'm going to borrow to escape the PMO but rather think about what I'm going to do to make myself useful in my day and thus no longer leave time for intrusive thoughts.

But above all, if I do this, it is simply to love myself and grant my love to a woman to live a life filled with happiness. This is what should motivate us above all. Let us try not to forget it.

We will achieve freedom, be sure!