I'm Going to Stop Trying to Quit

[Savagesauce]

Day 0

I had a coach suggest this to me once, to stop trying to quit. I've been struggling with this addiction for 14 years, and I've tried to quit so many different ways. I'm not going to do that anymore. Instead I'm going to just live life the best I can, accept my slips and relapses, and be accountable about it.

Let me just report that this morning I watched porn and didn't feel that great about it. I am thinking about watching porn tonight, and know that it won't make me feel good afterward. I don't feel like doing anything. I really want to smoke some weed and watch porn, but don't have any weed handy. Weed messes with my self-image and makes me feel like crap. It makes me see myself as a loser, which isn't very helpful for actually improving things.

I may use porn tonight, but I hope not. I am very tempted. I've been on a porn binge lately, and old videos that I used to watch that I haven't seen in a long time keep coming up into my mind. I feel this compulsion to go back down porno "memory lane". I know that if I give in though, the porn won't be as pleasurable as I anticipate. I am very desensitized, and I don't get much pleasure from porn right now. Things will be better tomorrow if I don't succumb. Again, I'm not going to try to quit. I just really hope I end up not watching porn.

There are things I could do instead of porn. I am very demotivated right now though to go do those things, like exercising. I know I can get my motivation back and get my workout routine going again. I've done it before.

Oh God, I think I'm going to watch porn though. It's not going to be worth it and I'm going to do it anyway. I keep telling myself I can get pleasure out of it, but after my first time using porn in a binge, it just gets worse and worse. I wish the urges would just go away. I've decided to watch porn now... Why am I doing this to myself? Because deep down I feel like I'm unable to quit. It seems impossible to me.

 

[Rookie]

Dude,  being on the forum is a good help. If you think you are going to watch, get away from whatever internet device you are using. And don't focus on not watching for a whole day at a time. Break it down in 1 hour segments. If you literally have nothing to do, go for a walk, watch a cartoon movie (nothing recent, women are well endowed and gorgeous). Read a book, do push ups...whatever.

And just focus on 1 hour segments. Before you know it, it's bed time, and you survived a night. There is NOTHING you will describe here that singles you out. Now, I may not be going through the same things exactly, but I can tell you, someone on this board, did / does.

Keep posting, even when you fail...eventually you'll get so sick of it, it will be ammunition for the right. You posted in the 20 yr thread...I would suggest reading your age group, some in the 30's and some in the 40's...this addiction doesn't get better, it ruins you.

There are many here rooting for the "brotherhood" to quit. You will get lots of support. And if you find someone here you relate to in their story, reach out to them, they could be your accountability partner.

Keep posting bro, you have no idea the benefits of quitting, it will NOT be easy, but it will be worth it.