Really need some help

P

pudigas

New Member
Hello everyone, here is my story:

First of all, I'm a 17 year old teenager. Started masturbating when I was 14/15, and almost since the beginning using pornography websites. At first I could still get an erection and eventually reach orgasm without artificial content. But since the last year and a half or so, I really have a hard time reaching ejaculation without using porn, and always fap with it.  On the other hand, I don't masturbate everyday, maybe 2/3 times per week, maybe some times more, some times less, depends on how much time I have available, etc. And usually when I do masturbate it is only once a day, almost never more than one fap per day. So I'm not sure if it's considered addiction, because I don't really crave for it, I don't watch it everyday, but I do need it to reach an orgasm, I depend on it. Here is my first shout for help.

Then, I've been in a serious relationship for over 9 months with this amazing girl. We've tried having sex a couple of times, and both of them I haven't been able to maintain a full erection, leading to not being able to realize penetration. Although when we first start making out and caressing/touching I do get pretty hard, but can't make it last long enough. Once I've performed oral sex on her, my penis is no longer erect. Maybe this doesn't have anything to do with my use of pornography, although I'm pretty sure it does, because it's happened twice. Maybe it's just nerves/anxiety. I mean, first time either of us has tried making love.

So right now I'm pretty confused and would really appreciate some indications, some help. Sorry if my vocabulary is not that good, not a native English speaker.
 
O

OSS

Guest
Regardless of whether you're addicted or not porn can still have very negative effects on mental health and libido.

At your age giving your girlfriend oral should leave you fully erect for a LONG time. No porn can only help, even if it is just nerves and anxiety. Almost everyone who is educated on this topic believes no one should look at porn even if it isn't causing you any problems whatsoever because the potential is still there.

Stop any artificial stimulation (porn, fb hotties, instagram babes, google images etc) and masturbation for just 4 weeks (sounds easy right?) and you will definetly be able to reach concluions by the end of it.
 
S

sender

Active Member
What you are experiencing is called PIED (porn induced erectile dysfunction).  Addiction to porn is one possible outcome of porn use (crave it, can't stop, using despite negative consequences, etc.), but PIED is another and does not require addiction as a prerequisite.  Cases of guys your age having these sorts of issues where porn is NOT the cause are EXTREMELY rare.  The best way to tell if porn is the cause is this: do you have any erectile problems when using porn?  And what happens if you masturbate without porn and with no fantasy at all; can you get erect and ejaculate?  If you answer no to both question, then porn is definitely the cause.  This is because looking at and wanking to lots of porn causes the brain to become less sensitive to normal sexual stimuli, even if it's a real [hot] girl. 

Agree totally with OSS - quit porn and all artificial sexual stimuli.  I would also add that if / when you do masturbate, don't use "death grip".  You can expect that it will hard going at first because you're so used to having access to it.  I have found it helpful to think of it as saying no to one thing (porn and masturbation) so I can say yes to something else (being present for and fully enjoying real sex with my real wife).  It's not obvious at first, but the two are mutually exclusive; i.e. you can't have both.  So you must choose.
 
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