Truly a sad story. Porn truly does affect the partner or loved one of the addict. For me it has turned me into someone I do not like or hardly know. I was with my boyfriend 3 years and we were going to get married. I still love this man more than I ever thought I could love someone. I left him 5 months ago and we barely communicate. Maybe 3-4 times via text, all with him initiating. Before I left I offered full supportand anything to get us thru it. He only said he wasnt addicted...hes not there yet. I hope one day he will wake up and see what hes lost. He has no social life. Its all work and then computer. Even orders meals in.
I 1st discovered his porn when he wanted to show me something on his email. It was there it caught my eye....someone had sent him message via a dating site. He didnt even think I saw it and i pretended not to. The next day I went to the site to discover it was a single site.
I created an email for myself and joined the site and sure enough...he was there as a SINGLE man...looking for women. I was so heartbroken and so angry!!!
A few days later, I revisited and caught him online with the GREEN LIGHT on meaning he was on at the moment. A phone call to him and he acted all normal. I PRINTED the screen showing him on the site with his light on and took it to his house along with his key.
He begged, begged and cried and swore it would never happen again...And so began the cycle. A 2 and 1/2 year cycle. There were many more sites to come, many chats in the inbox on facebook, Gmail and video purchases. Before I finally left him I woke up in the morning and found him going thru someones naked photos and he was completely embarrassed. Its when I knew it was time to go...my self esteem had hit an all time low.
During our years together. I spied on him, logged into his sites....I always knew the answer before I asked him a question and he still always lied. I dont know if he ever "physically" cheated on me but I always wondered.
Our sex life was great the 1st few months and then it dropped dead..he always had excuses..tired ect...
I finally realized this relationship was toxic. I am having trouble moving on. Its as if he damaged me. I hope one day I will be able to believe in love again and also be able to trust someone...the trust issues are rough for me
