recovery is positively impacting our son


Respected Member
So I had posted a bit of this in my journal but I see this as a huge success and wanted to share it here as well for anyone who might appreciate this. It is a different kind of success but to me it is one of the biggest and most important!

My husband has been in recovery for over 4 yrs. He has full relapsed once and had hundreds of triggers that he has successfully battled through. He has put in some really hard work, endured difficult conversations, and has had many "come to Jesus" moments with himself through this process. He has also managed to work with me and we have both put in the difficult task of rebuilding this marriage into a good one and are going on 17 yrs together. That is not easy to do with this addiction. The real success is in who he is as a father and the impact he has had on our son.

Our son is in that awkward stage of 7th grade and will be a teenager come December. He is really starting to shift from boy to this grown man appearance. It is really great to talk to him and hear his thought and perspective on things. One thing he remarked on recently was my husbands porn addiction. We have chosen to be fairly honest with our kids and they do know about his addiction (not details but more general discussion). If he has a relapse one of the agreements is that he is honest with them as well. This adds a layer of accountability to the family as a whole and was something the kids requested. They want to be part of seeing him healthy and free of this too. They have both commented periodically how he is much more present as a dad now than he was before. Over the weekend my son made another observation and it just really made me so proud of him. He said that he can see how my husband shows appreciation and affection towards me more and he can see how it makes me happy and that makes him happy. He said that some kids at school were talking about pictures of girls (porn) and he said he wasn't interested in that at all. He said he has noticed the impact it has made on his dad and he doesn't want that in his life. He also said that the person his dad is now is the kind of person he wants to be, not the person he was before. I was brought to tears how much he has noticed and watched through these years and I can see how it has impacted his life. I am so proud of the man he is becoming.

Sorry to gush over this but I am just a really proud mama, lol. More so I am a proud wife. My husband still gets triggered from time to time. The relapse was really hard on all of us but, even when I am questioning everything, he is consistent about his recovery. He tried very hard to stay focused on the end goal (a healthy life) and I can see him achieving that more and more every day.
I believe that through all of this, rebooting and becoming better people, the goal is (in my mind) to bring about a more whoelsome younger generation, to morph into a healthier society.

What you have shared here is a huge success story! Thanks for sharing, and cudos on your progress as a family. It is very moving.


King Leer

Active Member
It's funny at first I was thinking that that was weird to tell your kids about it but then I remembered the world we live in and the challenges kids are facing. Good for you two for talking to your kids and teaching them from your experiences!


Active Member
King Leer of course they should tell there kids...
The dad has suffered many years so that the kids won't have too....
If I was taught these things I wouldn't be in the position I am today... but I don't regret my past life its building me into the best possible person and intimate partner one could imagine...
I will be telling my children all about this addiction and other addictions... and also sexual health, so they won't have to go through what I and many many other people are going through....

I'm never watching porn ever again and I've been a total addict and I know I won't go back because the new life and a real relationship ship I want more than anything and I will do absolutely everything to get that,
And I will....!!!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can relate in multiple ways. For one, I am the son of a recovering alcoholic, so I have seen my dad change into something similar to what I want to become. I don't remember him drinking (I was about one year old or so when he got sober), but he essentially functioned as a dry drunk for many years, essentially until I was 16 or 17 years old. Secondly, I want to be honest with whoever my future wife and children are about my struggles in hopes that they will never be negatively affected by my addiction. That is a big part of what recovery is all about. Again, thank you so much for sharing your family's stories and I wish you all only the best of luck!