I am definitely addicted to porn. I love seeing women in porn but don't want to be with one. I went through hocd, stressing I was lesbian to the point where it made me sick. I have accepted that I don't want to be with a woman but find then attractive in porn. I love just seeing what the guy does to a girl, etc. I am attractive and look similar to that girls. Anyways, I don't watch it daily anymore but I do on the weekends and can do it for hours sometimes. I want a real relationship with a guy and I think this is preventing me. I also do it when I am unhappy, anxious, sad, feel bad about being alone, etc. I also do it when I get dumped or feel rejected by people. Other times I just want to relax or I'm bored. I get triggered by seeing a bikini pic or something sexual on TV or anywhere. I want to quit for good so I can feel strong, have a real relationship with real affection, and to be productive not waste time online. I need a partner or buddy who can help me please. I would really appreciate it because I have tried for so long to do this alone and I fail after a week or two. I am serious about this and I was told by my friend whose in AA that you need people to get through addiction. If you'd like to help, please help!! Anytime I feel like relapsing, I want to talk to you. I want to talk about strategies, times of day, etc. Lets do this!
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I am a girl loving porn
- Thread starter Rani
- Start date
O
OSS
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The most important thing I have learnt so far is to focus on getting a new life rather than trying to pick up the pieces of a shattered one. Forgive the person you used to be, move on and focus on what you wish to improve about yourself. A helpful exercise is to write down on paper your likes and dislikes about yourself, what you wish to improve and what you want to banish from your life. From there you can figure out how you're going to accomplish it.
Besides that there are many things that can be done to avoid porn and triggers. Temporarily deleting instagram/tumblr etc, only allowing yourself 20-30 minutes daily to check facebook/email etc, installing "K9" porn blocker.
For k9, here's a tip to avoid just uninstalling it when you get an urge. When you register, use a new email address with a long password and create a k9 account with a long password. Make these passwords long enough so you can't remember them, write them down on paper. Take the paper and go for a 15 minute walk/drive.. The next time you have an urge you've got a 30 minute walk or drive ahead of you before you can bypass k9, which will hopefully be long enough to get past the urges
The 2 other biggest influences for me and many others would be exercise and meditation. Doesn't have to be any extreme, even if it's just a brisk walk a few times a week for 30 minutes but generally the more intense the better effect it seem to has on mood. As for meditation 10 minutes twice a day is a good starting point, search "sam harris mindfulness meditation".
Besides that there are many things that can be done to avoid porn and triggers. Temporarily deleting instagram/tumblr etc, only allowing yourself 20-30 minutes daily to check facebook/email etc, installing "K9" porn blocker.
For k9, here's a tip to avoid just uninstalling it when you get an urge. When you register, use a new email address with a long password and create a k9 account with a long password. Make these passwords long enough so you can't remember them, write them down on paper. Take the paper and go for a 15 minute walk/drive.. The next time you have an urge you've got a 30 minute walk or drive ahead of you before you can bypass k9, which will hopefully be long enough to get past the urges
The 2 other biggest influences for me and many others would be exercise and meditation. Doesn't have to be any extreme, even if it's just a brisk walk a few times a week for 30 minutes but generally the more intense the better effect it seem to has on mood. As for meditation 10 minutes twice a day is a good starting point, search "sam harris mindfulness meditation".
That's some good advice OSS.
This thread relates to your first paragraph, and I'd recommend every rebooter should read it:
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0
Have you started a journal, Rani? It's a great place to vent your thoughts and not bottle them up inside, and also helps your accountability partner keep up with what's going on in your life/reboot so they can help you. Where are you from? It'd help to find an accountability partner in the same time zone as yourself.
This thread relates to your first paragraph, and I'd recommend every rebooter should read it:
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0
Have you started a journal, Rani? It's a great place to vent your thoughts and not bottle them up inside, and also helps your accountability partner keep up with what's going on in your life/reboot so they can help you. Where are you from? It'd help to find an accountability partner in the same time zone as yourself.
All good advice. However, I recommend that the first step should be to get educated about the brain chemistry of porn [addiction] here: yourbrainonporn.com If you haven't already, watch all of the videos. The information will help you understand what's going on so you don't fall into the rationalization cycle.
You will experience withdrawal symptoms...you will be uncomfortable for some time. Many people (myself included) report symptoms for up to 90 days. After that, it definitely gets easier to stay clean.
If you're serious about quitting porn, you've come to the right place. As they say in SLAA, "it works if you work it, so work it". And keep coming back.
You will experience withdrawal symptoms...you will be uncomfortable for some time. Many people (myself included) report symptoms for up to 90 days. After that, it definitely gets easier to stay clean.
If you're serious about quitting porn, you've come to the right place. As they say in SLAA, "it works if you work it, so work it". And keep coming back.