DopeYoungsta
New Member
First off, let me say that I feel in debt to the website 'Your Brain on Porn". I'm a very logical minded person, and unless I have solid reasoning and evidence that something is detrimental, I'm unlikely to change my behaviors. This website laid out the science as to why porn might be so awful!
Are you suffering adhedonia? First of all, look it up.... because in my opinion this state is very relevant to porn&/or masturbation exhaustion... it's not quite the same as depression, though they do go hand in hand... and most people wouldn't make any distinction between the two.
Anybody else remember before puberty, and the first couple years of masturbating... how the world still seemed so bright? Did anyone else make the small connection between puberty and how un-alive they starting feeling afterwards, but simply attributed it to hormone change or being a kid? In elementary, and most of middleschool I was a bright-eyed kid... hugely extroverted, very passionate, high-achieving and lively! I flew by with ease... people were drawn to me, I was always very popular, very happy, very funny, I don't want to brag but I couldn't have asked for more this period of my life looking back. I took it for granted
Move onto now, I'm turning 18 next month. For the past couple years I've been in a fog, everything felt like a chore... been on every type of antidepressent, and used ADHD meds like adderall for years, just to try to get by in school. School became HARD, and my creativity dissapeared, I become introverted... I wanted to change but the way I felt, I didn't feel alive at all... not like my old self. I no longer enjoyed anything but the most fast paced cartoons or Youtube; a movie didn't satisfy me. I didn't even enjoy videogames anymore, and on my birthdays I wasn't excited or happy to have a party. I stopped enjoying conversation, everything... I couldn't describe it any better than not feeling alive! This happened very gradually. I blamed medications, my surroundings... I didn't know what to blame, though porn & masturbation frequently were considered, I never accepted them as a real detriment. For years I felt like this, everything was a chore, with very very little to look forward to to motivate me to live. I felt disconnected from people, and I felt slow!
Recently I started abstaining from orgasm, ejaculation and porn. Let's just say my life has literally turned around, and this effect is consistently growing each day! Unlike the artificial happiness that drugs can give you, I feel genuinely good... sure It's not intense, but for someone who has been so adhedonic for so long being able to feel like my own self again, consistently, for longer than just a day or a couple hours... it's feels great. My anxiety has alleviated, boredom has left, I have much greater mental capacity and motivation. I now look forward to school, time goes by much quicker... my shyness has literally dissapeared, and I'm out-going! My cleverity is back with haste, I always feel like I have something clever to say and have people laughing easily, it comes naturally! I still have some difficulty focusing on tedious, boring reading.. (think Romeo and Juliet or history) but then again doesn't? I feel creative, and enjoy talking to people once again... I began making bonds, friendships, relationships with all sorts of people whom I've been around for so long yet never noticed. Music is great once again. It's just insane to think how big the change was! And it's NOT placebo... if I was one sensitive to placebo, don't you think I'd have benefited more from the numerous antidepressants, stimulants, mood stabilizers and etc I took before?
I just figured I owe to this community, I obviously didn't put so much effort into writing this... but I wish to encourage guys my age to make a change. I see friends suffering adhedonia and I remember reading logs on hear describing similar experiences, yet I couldn't accept that it might truly make a big difference... especially not so soon. I felt so hopeless, and was growing so weary of feeling so unalive... I've finally found the solution.
It's very difficult at first, there's no two ways about it... the cravings can be INTENSE. And to make it worse, your brain will try to fight you... you will rationalize use, throw away progress, decide that porn is fine, etc... you've basically allowed the impulsive part of your brain to dominate. But trust me, if you simply just pause, then go read an article on how awful it is for you, that little bit of time is usually sufficient to end those acute cravings. Distract yourself. Accept that you won't have the fix. The cravings go down very quickly, and this correlates with how good you feel in general... cravings=tolerance=tolerance to all things that motivate you or make you happy, think think about it. You likely will relapse. Don't upset yourself over it. You can and will get the hang of it... as someone with an incredibly addictive, impulsive personality let me tell you that you can get a hang of it, and once you do, it becomes so easy.
Don't be upset seeing months of struggle until you feel better. In my case within a couple days I was already feeling distinctly better. If I'm not even a month in and feel so much better already, I can only expect to feel better everyday. It seems like if you start getting morning wood again, you're headed in the right direction, and fast... it just seems to correlate.
Anybody else notice these effects? Anybody else need any tips, or even wish to give me some?
Are you suffering adhedonia? First of all, look it up.... because in my opinion this state is very relevant to porn&/or masturbation exhaustion... it's not quite the same as depression, though they do go hand in hand... and most people wouldn't make any distinction between the two.
Anybody else remember before puberty, and the first couple years of masturbating... how the world still seemed so bright? Did anyone else make the small connection between puberty and how un-alive they starting feeling afterwards, but simply attributed it to hormone change or being a kid? In elementary, and most of middleschool I was a bright-eyed kid... hugely extroverted, very passionate, high-achieving and lively! I flew by with ease... people were drawn to me, I was always very popular, very happy, very funny, I don't want to brag but I couldn't have asked for more this period of my life looking back. I took it for granted
Move onto now, I'm turning 18 next month. For the past couple years I've been in a fog, everything felt like a chore... been on every type of antidepressent, and used ADHD meds like adderall for years, just to try to get by in school. School became HARD, and my creativity dissapeared, I become introverted... I wanted to change but the way I felt, I didn't feel alive at all... not like my old self. I no longer enjoyed anything but the most fast paced cartoons or Youtube; a movie didn't satisfy me. I didn't even enjoy videogames anymore, and on my birthdays I wasn't excited or happy to have a party. I stopped enjoying conversation, everything... I couldn't describe it any better than not feeling alive! This happened very gradually. I blamed medications, my surroundings... I didn't know what to blame, though porn & masturbation frequently were considered, I never accepted them as a real detriment. For years I felt like this, everything was a chore, with very very little to look forward to to motivate me to live. I felt disconnected from people, and I felt slow!
Recently I started abstaining from orgasm, ejaculation and porn. Let's just say my life has literally turned around, and this effect is consistently growing each day! Unlike the artificial happiness that drugs can give you, I feel genuinely good... sure It's not intense, but for someone who has been so adhedonic for so long being able to feel like my own self again, consistently, for longer than just a day or a couple hours... it's feels great. My anxiety has alleviated, boredom has left, I have much greater mental capacity and motivation. I now look forward to school, time goes by much quicker... my shyness has literally dissapeared, and I'm out-going! My cleverity is back with haste, I always feel like I have something clever to say and have people laughing easily, it comes naturally! I still have some difficulty focusing on tedious, boring reading.. (think Romeo and Juliet or history) but then again doesn't? I feel creative, and enjoy talking to people once again... I began making bonds, friendships, relationships with all sorts of people whom I've been around for so long yet never noticed. Music is great once again. It's just insane to think how big the change was! And it's NOT placebo... if I was one sensitive to placebo, don't you think I'd have benefited more from the numerous antidepressants, stimulants, mood stabilizers and etc I took before?
I just figured I owe to this community, I obviously didn't put so much effort into writing this... but I wish to encourage guys my age to make a change. I see friends suffering adhedonia and I remember reading logs on hear describing similar experiences, yet I couldn't accept that it might truly make a big difference... especially not so soon. I felt so hopeless, and was growing so weary of feeling so unalive... I've finally found the solution.
It's very difficult at first, there's no two ways about it... the cravings can be INTENSE. And to make it worse, your brain will try to fight you... you will rationalize use, throw away progress, decide that porn is fine, etc... you've basically allowed the impulsive part of your brain to dominate. But trust me, if you simply just pause, then go read an article on how awful it is for you, that little bit of time is usually sufficient to end those acute cravings. Distract yourself. Accept that you won't have the fix. The cravings go down very quickly, and this correlates with how good you feel in general... cravings=tolerance=tolerance to all things that motivate you or make you happy, think think about it. You likely will relapse. Don't upset yourself over it. You can and will get the hang of it... as someone with an incredibly addictive, impulsive personality let me tell you that you can get a hang of it, and once you do, it becomes so easy.
Don't be upset seeing months of struggle until you feel better. In my case within a couple days I was already feeling distinctly better. If I'm not even a month in and feel so much better already, I can only expect to feel better everyday. It seems like if you start getting morning wood again, you're headed in the right direction, and fast... it just seems to correlate.
Anybody else notice these effects? Anybody else need any tips, or even wish to give me some?