Starting again, again...

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Dave_Dice

Member
My Journal

Hello friends,

Started pmo when I was very young not quite sure of the age but definitely from at least 9. I think my longest period of stopping was probably a few weeks. I'm now 29 years old. I've tried stopping many times before without success. My biggest problems are the fact I have some health problems which no one can seem to figure out. I've had 3 surgeries which have not made the slightest difference. This obviously makes me feel awful and the best way to get out the stress is pmo. I'm hoping if I can stop pmo I can feel better with myself and hopefully improve my health.

I've been in a few relationships and looking back on them I think porn was a big issue in a break up. I would constantly be watching porn instead of giving my gf the attention she needed. I'm currently unemployed and life is pretty dull whilst trying to fix my health, stop pmo and get on with my life.

I hope to post here as often as I remember. Please feel free to comment on my journal with any advice :)

Today is day 1.
 
Gabe Deem

Gabe Deem

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
Welcome to the Nation Dave!

Sorry to hear about your health problems. Whatever the issue is, I hope it can be resolved asap.

Sounds like you need to have a better game plan for dealing with stress than using porn.

I suggest:
  • Meditation
  • Exercise (if you're able)
  • Go outside/time in nature
  • Reading books/learning something new
  • Socializing/Calling a friend

Hope the best for you Dave! You got this. One day at a time. Much love
 
D

Dave_Dice

Member
Thank you Gabe :)

I will definitely get some more exercise and perhaps learn an instrument. I used to play the guitar so maybe will pick that up again.

Day 2 -

No urges today feeling pretty good. I know they will come though. The last few times I've tried to stop pmo they normally hit around day 3 or 4 so I will try to be more on guard this time around.
 
D

Dave_Dice

Member
Day 3 -

Still going strong. Had some urges today but quickly shut them down. I've been thinking how ridiculous porn really is, sitting in the dark in your room watching other people on a screen. It's insane really. What is also crazy is that one part of our body can have so much control over our minds just because it gives momentary pleasure but ultimately leads to no real satisfaction. I feel like just coming here and writing this stuff down has helped already. So I plan to keep posting when I can. One day at a time.
 
zander13

zander13

Active Member
your dick isn't in control of your brain. the dick is just a vessel. it's just a different part of your brain overpowering the portion that controls your actions
(frontal lobe). it's your animalistic instincts to reproduce getting tricked by the super-stimulus that is porn. read up on the science behind all this--true understanding will help you fight this shit and not look at it as some mysterious entity.

good luck.
 
D

Dave_Dice

Member
Thanks Zander I will definitely be doing some more research.

Day 4 -

Been a good day no urges to look at porn/masturbate - Done some reading and had a long video chat with some friends. I know the urges will come back soon so will try to structure my days better with more exercise/reading and less time spent alone at the computer.





 
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Dave_Dice

Member
Thank you for the suggestion Do or Die.

Day 5

I feel okay trying to avoid all triggers had no urges today. Keeping busy.
 
D

Dave_Dice

Member
Day 7 almost complete. Feeling good! Done a lot of tidying today, completely changed the layout of some rooms. Some more DIY tomorrow. Haven't thought about PMO at all. I don't want to get too over confident this early on, but remaining optimistic.
 
K

Kraken

Well-Known Member
That's awesome Dave, what a great week!  Looking at your first week, you are an intelligent person who reads and frequently socializes with good friends.  Also, you are disciplined, organized, and tidy. 

You're writing a new story through your actions.  I recommend you write more about those things you do each day that you love and feel proud of.  The more you think about and write about those things the more they seem to happen.

squid
 
D

Dave_Dice

Member
Day 8

Been going through some journals today. So many people have some great stories and advice which is very helpful. I plan to watch Matt Fradd's latest video on Aquinas and Lust in a little bit. Then perhaps do some more research on porn addiction. I have also got an old piano keyboard out and plan on learning some songs :)

I've had absolutely no urges today again. I'm finding this a bit strange (is it normal to have absolutely no libido this early?) This isn't a bad thing for me as I'm currently single anyway. Last time I tried to stop porn after 2 weeks the urges overwhelmed me.
 
Phineas 808

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Hi, Dave_Dice! Nice to meet you, and thank you for coming by my journal earlier!

Congratulations on day 8! You're doing great, you have the power within you to say 'No!'.

If you have no urges, great! You have nothing to not-respond to!  ;)

Libido comes and goes, I wouldn't make that your focus, especially like you said, you're currently single...

Folk talk about the dreaded flatline, but at this stage, I would just simply focus on changing your habit, first of all by not responding to urges when they arise. Accept that you have urges, but just breathe through them.

Wishing you well, and prayers for your ongoing health issues....!
 
D

Dave_Dice

Member
Thank you Phineas :)

I definitely have been focusing on libido too much and wondering when the urges will return. I will try not to over think it and just deal with it when they come.
 
D

Dave_Dice

Member
Day 9

Had some urges when I woke up today but quickly dismissed them. It's now December and my short term goal is to make it until Christmas and then hopefully on into the new year!
 
D

Dave_Dice

Member
Thank you :)

Day 11 complete

Feeling okay a bit agitated today not sure why. Otherwise been a pretty good day mostly talking to friends and a bit of exercise. Changed up diet a little, eating much more fruit than usual.
 
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