Hey
I'm G. This is day 1 of my journal. It's day 70 without porn and I'm doing ok, but need to keep it up (no pun intended .
The journey to recovery started about 4 months ago. I'm in my 30s, married, 2 kids, but a compulsive masturbater. That's been the case from age 17. My sex life with my wife, while initially great, has for years now been less than ideal, and masturbation has increased (and no doubt contributed to keeping the sex life less than ideal!).
The porn was getting into weirder stuff, and I've known for ages it had control of me rather than the other way around. I've tried so many times to stop it, but always come back.
Then after an argument with my wife about sex, I suggested and she happily agreed to try therapy. And the therapist instantly said "we need to sort out your masturbation". So I'm seeing another therapist for just me, great person who is sorting me out.
The plan is:
1. No porn - no way, nothing allowed at all, it absolutely has to stop dead
2. Reduce masturbation to once a week, maybe twice if really necessary (because our feeling is that stopping completely isn't going to work for me, it will put too much pressure on my wife, and, heck, I'm only human
3. Get the sex life with my wife back to twice a week. Normal loving sex. Can be a quickie. Can be drawn out. But not the functional rubbish we would do once every 6 weeks prior to this, where we would just get each other off and that was it.
It's going ok so far. The sex life is gradually coming back. Lots more work to do, but we're talking, doing what the therapist suggests, and it's getting there. Maybe more on that in another journal entry.
I'm on day 70 with no porn, have waivered once or twice, looking at bikini clad models on google before shutting it down (and before it slips into something else). Using a porn blocker has helped a lot and I haven't made any real effort to look at porn.
But the one thing causing me trouble is the masturbation. At first when I was in the first week it was TOUGH just wanking once a week and having sex once too. But got through it. And it was great! I was more affectionate with my wife - more attentive. I put in more effort and didn't argue/sulk when I didn't get my way. It was awesome.
But lately I'm slipping back into wanking 5 times a week (less than the 15-25 it used to be a week), but I'm losing the attentiveness to my wife big time and NEED TO GET IT BACK. I'm feeling rejected when she says no to sex, when I should be cool, mature, and hope it comes around tomorrow (she likes it timetabled, which is fine by me, we have 2 young kids and leaving it up to spontaneity is tricky). Anyway that's why I'm on this. To try and get back on track. It's so easy to wake up and get on with work and kids and not focus on the fact that no wanking is still important and I've got to get it down to once a week.
Anyway, thanks if you're reading this. I'll ty and write each day for 2 weeks in an effort to keep this front of mind and get myself back to wanking once a week. I've read lots of other accounts of how good the journals are. Fingers crossed
I'm G. This is day 1 of my journal. It's day 70 without porn and I'm doing ok, but need to keep it up (no pun intended .
The journey to recovery started about 4 months ago. I'm in my 30s, married, 2 kids, but a compulsive masturbater. That's been the case from age 17. My sex life with my wife, while initially great, has for years now been less than ideal, and masturbation has increased (and no doubt contributed to keeping the sex life less than ideal!).
The porn was getting into weirder stuff, and I've known for ages it had control of me rather than the other way around. I've tried so many times to stop it, but always come back.
Then after an argument with my wife about sex, I suggested and she happily agreed to try therapy. And the therapist instantly said "we need to sort out your masturbation". So I'm seeing another therapist for just me, great person who is sorting me out.
The plan is:
1. No porn - no way, nothing allowed at all, it absolutely has to stop dead
2. Reduce masturbation to once a week, maybe twice if really necessary (because our feeling is that stopping completely isn't going to work for me, it will put too much pressure on my wife, and, heck, I'm only human
3. Get the sex life with my wife back to twice a week. Normal loving sex. Can be a quickie. Can be drawn out. But not the functional rubbish we would do once every 6 weeks prior to this, where we would just get each other off and that was it.
It's going ok so far. The sex life is gradually coming back. Lots more work to do, but we're talking, doing what the therapist suggests, and it's getting there. Maybe more on that in another journal entry.
I'm on day 70 with no porn, have waivered once or twice, looking at bikini clad models on google before shutting it down (and before it slips into something else). Using a porn blocker has helped a lot and I haven't made any real effort to look at porn.
But the one thing causing me trouble is the masturbation. At first when I was in the first week it was TOUGH just wanking once a week and having sex once too. But got through it. And it was great! I was more affectionate with my wife - more attentive. I put in more effort and didn't argue/sulk when I didn't get my way. It was awesome.
But lately I'm slipping back into wanking 5 times a week (less than the 15-25 it used to be a week), but I'm losing the attentiveness to my wife big time and NEED TO GET IT BACK. I'm feeling rejected when she says no to sex, when I should be cool, mature, and hope it comes around tomorrow (she likes it timetabled, which is fine by me, we have 2 young kids and leaving it up to spontaneity is tricky). Anyway that's why I'm on this. To try and get back on track. It's so easy to wake up and get on with work and kids and not focus on the fact that no wanking is still important and I've got to get it down to once a week.
Anyway, thanks if you're reading this. I'll ty and write each day for 2 weeks in an effort to keep this front of mind and get myself back to wanking once a week. I've read lots of other accounts of how good the journals are. Fingers crossed