Delayed ejaculation weird fetishes and Tranny/gay OCD what to do?

[SuperAlien]

Hello there to everyone! sorry for my stupid nickname,I wanted to use something that was easy to remember and sounded cool 8)
Like the title says I'm a fella with delayed ejaculation,a lot of weird fetishes and tranny/gay OCD
I have a girlfriend and I'm able to have sex normally,I can have a solid erection,but also I'm very anxious and I always think it could get soft after little time(still didn't happen)
I have OCD and OCD with gay/tranny fantasies...I don't like to masturbate to this kind of stuff,but I always feel more excited when I do that instead of watching regular porn
The weird thing is that I'm not even attracted to men,but only to the penis,it sounds like a Penis fenish..i dunno
eitherway I wanted to ask...what could be better for me to rewire? right now I'm In my longest streak of No fap e no porn of the year(currently 18 days)
Because I have a girlfriend..it is kind of hard to abstain from sex,in these current days I was not able to see her..so I'm also sex free...can someone help me figure out what could be the best method to rewire? can I have sex? can I ejaculate only thanks to my girlfriend? and also...my mental health will improve if I rewire? what about the ocd? thanks for having me,cheers!

 

[mousemat1]

I think in very severe cases HOCD can develop. I'm speaking from experience. While I'm out and about I have absolutely no interest in men. Gay porn just doesn't do it of me either. I'm not interested. However, transexual porn was my last go to genre, which included a fascination with penises.

I think it's because just about every porn scene involves a penis. I remember watching porn and almost not even noticing there was one on screen, or if I did I was fantasising that it was mine that the women were pleasuring. I don't know when the with took place, but now I'm more interested in the penis rather than the girl. It's really screwed up.

The only thing we can do it to completely stop watching porn. With enough time these fetishes or compulsions should become weaker and weaker. Whether we can completely eliminate them remains to be seen. At least your able to have sex with your girlfriend, so focus on that and avoid all porn.

 

[SuperAlien]

Hello mousemat,your message gave me a lot to think about,I thought it could be really hard to explain my situation in a few messages...but you absolutely described what happened to me!
I've started to develop hocd the exact moment I noticed this strange *fetish* of mine,and from there it has been a disastrous escalation(to be precise,everything went down when I've escaleted to tranny/trap porn,from there i've experienced the same swap of focus from female to penis that you described((not a complete swap,but you get the idea,It was harder to concentrate to the female only like before)),and from there it was literally hell because I had to do rituals of sort to prove to myself that I was not gay),It has been since I was 17 that everything became a nigthmare,random anxiety,sleep problems,no self esteem,delayed ejaculation etc etc...I want to ask you more about yourself if you pls? What do you mean by **I think in very severe cases HOCD can develop**? also do you think that staying away from porn is enough? this is my 20th day without masturbating or watching porn,but I had sex and was able to climax..I Would like to know if Climaxing is good or bad for someone that can have sex,also if you want,you can ask me any question if it is something that can help you
thanks!

 

[mousemat1]

Some guys develop PIED without the weird fetishes. Fortunately, you don't have PIED.

The problem that it appears most guys have with porn is escalation to more shocking stuff. I remember some years ago that if I stumbled across transexual porn I just found it too strange to watch and would immediately go and find some regular porn. Before this reboot, my first search was for transexual porn. How did the change happen? I recommend Gary Wilson's excellent TedTalk on the subject, but basically our brains need more extreme or shocking stuff to get the same dopamine hit. It's like an alcoholic or a drug addict. After a while they need more and more of their drug of choice to get the same feeling they had the first time. When I say 'shocking' it doesn't have to be particularly disgusting, just 'new'.

You know you're not gay. I know I'm not gay. I've never seen a man on the street and thought that I'd like to have sex with him. But, when my pulse is racing and I'm getting a porn rush, I crave the shock of seeing transexuals. I also look for the most feminine looking transexuals, so my brain is confused because I think I'm looking at women, but because of years of watching porn, it has to have the added attraction of a penis in the scene. In some ways it is more appealing than regular porn because I'm watching two women have sex with the added excitement of penetration, if that makes sense. It's like lesbian porn, but there is the act of penetration. It's really confusing for my brain.

Anyway, if I spend a short time away from porn, the attraction for transexuals diminishes. If I relapse, I quickly escalate back to transexual porn. So, we just need to fight the urges and stop watching all porn.

I think in your case climaxing is OK. You don't have PIED, so anything which strengthens the connections in your brain for real sex is probably a very good thing.

I hope this helps.

 

[akpal2]

Great answers from mouse mat. I second what he just said. I consider myself quite straight but due to lots of porn consumption I find gay porn to be the one that gets me off. When I abstain from porn, the attraction towards gay sex goes down and I start craving women again. But if I relapse, it is back to gay porn for me. And a very specific type of gay porn that I seek. So, don't worry about it. Give yourself an extended period of time without porn at all and see for yourself. when I say without porn,.I mean any artificial sexually explicit thoughts, whether that's stories or your mind making up sex scenes.

 

[SuperAlien]

thanks to the both of you! these messagges really helped me tremendously,I'll update you if everything positive happens!and of course If you want to ask me something,do so!!
I just want to ask you one more thing...is there an end to this? like..is it really possible to stay away enough from porn to become ***like we used to be***before? thanks really...

 

[mousemat1]

"is there an end to this?"

There are some really inspiring success stories on this forum. So, yes, there is an end to this. I'm probably not the best person to ask because I've been struggling for many years with this addiction.

 

[akpal2]

thanks to the both of you! these messagges really helped me tremendously,I'll update you if everything positive happens!and of course If you want to ask me something,do so!!
I just want to ask you one more thing...is there an end to this? like..is it really possible to stay away enough from porn to become ***like we used to be***before? thanks really...

Yes, there is. How can I be so sure? Because I have recovered from this crap once, only to relapse a couple years later.

But yes, you can be like you used to be, if you can completely stay away from artificial sexual stimulation.

 

[Vazquez]

I had almost the same problem with ejaculation, but I went to my doctor for a consultation and he said that
almost all men have this problem but this can be cured, so he recommended me to use prosolution pills(https://www.prosolution-plus.net/) for at least 2 months that will help to improve my erections and sexual life. Now I'm good and satisfied with the results.