age 25 - My reboot

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Somebody

Member
Hey everyone,

I just started learning about why I may have a ED. I read and watched most of the videos about it from http://yourbrainonporn.com/. A great eye opener.

Now here is my dilemmas. I've been watching porn since I was probably 12, I'm now 25. My porn habbit became progressively more aggressive as time went on(getting into more hardcore/unorthodox shit). I honestly thought my pot habit was what used to reduce my performance. I started to notice that I wasn't getting "Raging boners" anymore... less morning wood... etc. Now... the worst part about all this is that I just started to see this girl from work. I'm REALLY into her. We were friends for a good year prior to... and we started fooling around. First night I had drank a bit and couldn't get hard enough to penetrate her with a condom(fuck those things, just made me limp...). Which was the most embarrassing thing I've EVER experienced. I blamed it on whiskey dick and ate her out to make her cum. Second day I started to finger her and made her cum that way... mid way she asked "if it was ready yet", and I kinda just ignored it and made her cum and we cuddled.

I'm scared she'll move on if I tell her that I need to not fap/masterbate or have sex for a whole 2-3 months (at the very least). I'm really not a "player" in any way... In fact this is my second GF at the age of 25. Getting a girl is already hard enough for me... In fact I really never had sex with my first gf... so you guessed it I'm a virgin. This was my time to lose it, and I can't even do that.

What should I do? I just really don't have a clue how to bring this up.

Can I still have sex with viagra at least? I've tried to masterbate without porn and use viagra as a test and it worked. I could get hard and cum. Would this reset or slow down the process? Should I still attempt to erect while I "reset". I literally just learned about this yesterday.

How long do you think the reboot process should take if I watched porn on average about 1 time per day in my earlier days, and more recently maybe 1-2 times a day... sometimes skipping days. 2 months suffice?

I used to have a 7.5 - 8 inch dick way back when I was athletic and in shape... at the age of 16-18. I now barely scrape 6.5 inches. Will this help with the length? I'm not sure if it wasn't just that I wasn't getting a full blown erection... Anyone have any background on this?

Any tips for my "journey"

Cheers
 
P

Promise

Well-Known Member
Having been viewing porn for so long from such an early age probably means you require a long reboot unfortunately.  The idea of a reboot is to rewire your brain to healthy sexuality, which means making love to a woman with your mind in the room and not off somewhere thinking about porn fantasy can be helpful.  I've not experienced ED myself, so I'm only commenting based on the accounts I've read (which by this point is quite a lot of accounts) but for the first part of your reboot if you have ED it's generally a good idea to abstain from orgasm completely for a while (not counting wet dreams etc.).

Having a partner who knows your struggle and can assist you with it can be very helpful, but at the same time I understand your quandary, I wouldn't want to tell a new partner about my reboot for fear of scaring her off.

Everyone's different though, so maybe you'd be able to have sex and still experience a successful reboot early on.  Good luck Somebody.
 
S

Somebody

Member
I really wish I would of known that porn could be harmful at an earlier age... I always thought it was to prep you for the actual intercourse. I mean... it worked I know what I'm doing without ever having done it. But at the cost of my own pleasure.

Thanks for the insight but I'm still lost as to what to do :(
 
S

Somebody

Member
Ok, my counter is a bit off, Its been probably a week now. I've regained morning wood. But I cannot get an erection otherwise. I've tried and tried but nothing is stimulating even a half hardon. I guess this is what is called flatline already? Still haven't told my partner. Instead I told her I had health problems and I couldn't do anything for 3 months as per my doctor. Hopefully by then I'll be good enough to do it once in a while. If she's still around and kicking. I hate lying, but I just see this as the more viable option.

I've started to feel a tingling feeling now... almost constant. I remember this feeling vaguely way back when I was younger... Almost like I want to erect but cant.
 
M

Mbg

Active Member
I would also agree with Promise, sounds like you need a hardmode reboot.  No sex, masturbation, or porn.  It sounds like you've bought yourself some time by telling her it's a health problem (which it kind of is, mental health) but I also feel like honesty, especially early on, is crucial in healthy relationship.  If you hope to keep her around I would just be open with her.  If she gets scared off then she isn't right for you anyways.  Sounds like you were friends for some time so I feel like any good friend would understand and sympathize.  I actually kept my addiction from my wife for the 3 years we've been together.  It hurt her deeply but now I'm open and honest with her and our relationship is stronger than it ever has been.  Trust me mate, if you really like this girl and you want to keep her around I suggest coming clean to her about your addiction or it'll blow back in your face later.  She doesn't need the seedy details, but I think she needs to know the gist, especially if you guys have started to be sexual.  Of course this is just my opinion.  Hope this helps.
 
S

Somebody

Member
I always intended on telling her what it was, I finally did. I've started working out and going hardcore with healthy eating, zinc intake in case that was it. I also went to the doctors and they did a bunch of tests including jelling the shit out of my balls to see if its a circulatory problem. Honestly at this point I'd rather have it be some sort of blockage. At least you operate that shit and you are good to go. lol.

The worst problem I have is that I really don't think I'm "addicted" to porn. I... masturbated in prep for sex. I always read that it was a good decision to get ready so you don't just "blow your load". And since I didn't have a GF for 3-4 years I really didn't have any need to really hold back. Some days I'd go 3 times, some other days I'd go 1 time... some days none. I never had a withdrawal after I quit, honestly I only did it when I was bored.

So far, 10 days in here is what I noticed:

Morning wood every day. Still can't maintain it though.
Tried jerking it until I get an erection without porn, I was able to get a softy, and eventually went away. Will try again at the end of the month to see what happens.
 
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Somebody

Member
I totally masturbated yesterday, I was drinking and not thinking correctly. I wanted to make sure my junk still worked. I feel awful. I did on the other hand not look at porn, so that was good.
 
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Ravenmorgul

Guest
Welcome

I think your doing a great job being here and writing about your problem and your experiences with porn and how it does affect you and your personal life. In my opinion you should not use Viagra. I read somewhere on yourbrainonporn that it helpes to touch, smell, and doing stuff like that without pressure to get yourself going. In my experience I know that if I had sex with my girlfriend before I told her about my porn addiction that it put me under a lot of stress. I always felt that pressure that I had to get her to an orgasm and that I also had to get an orgasm or she would feel bad about herself thinking she wasnt attractive enough for me. Which was never the case. But again I needed more stimulus. I was and still am used to a lot of different girls seeing half naked in very beautiful clothes having sex in a variaton of position and so on. The point is that in real life having sex with someone isnt like watching half a dozen porn clips. So the stimulus can never be as high as watching porn. I only tell you this cause I really really had a very long time to figure that out :D

I think that it can help if you would go on with little excercises with your girlfriend like that touching smelling massaging stuff. You know to get to know her body and yours as well. It also helps me after I told her about my addiction that we talk to each other you know some dirty talk thing. It helps me to focus being in the moment with her. Well, stay strong. It takes time.
 
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Vargulf

Member
Hey man, I'm one year older but in the exact same boat. I 'let go' my last gf for the same reason, but she was very understanding and would have stayed round if I was more into the relationship..

I'd tell this girl if your really into her, it takes balls, will take a load off you, AND if she does nip off like lightening that was a efficient way of working out whether she was even worth the effort in the first place. It could help to have her round as you recover to properly revalue the female body rather than the damn screen.

Wish I'd known too, looks like we were inadvertently a guinea pig generation. Good luck. 
 
J

jjhh

Active Member
I think I would also tell her if I was you. Sure she might not understand and leave you, but she will notice the problem anyway so the risk is always there. Lying rarely helps with relationships.
You don't need the extra pressure and stress involved with hiding and lying, but you could use the support. But it's a tough call for sure.
Good luck.

 
S

Somebody

Member
Well I totally MO (without the P)... I felt down and totally broke down. On the other hand, I have seen a tremendous improvement in pleasure just from this small amount of time. 3 weeks. I'm thinking that 3 months would be enough for me. I've restarted my counter and I'll be going strong from now on.

jjhh just for the record, I wasn't lying yet. I didn't know if it was a medical thing or if it was porn induced yet. There is also a place and time to tell someone something like this. I chose my moment, there is such a thing as good timing
 
S

Somebody

Member
Been going pretty strong with the no porn. Since my reboot I haven't watched any. Honestly I've been doing a lot better. I've been less depressed... more sexually active with my GF. I can't say I kept my promise not to MO. But I'd drastically lessened it. In fact I don't do either unless I'm with my GF. Which is going great now. I told her what I was doing, and surprisingly she was ok with it. She LOVES it almost. I feel like I've really struck a good one.

Anyways... I've noticed good progress regardless. I'd say that having a girl do things to you must be a good thing right?  I mean... you are only experiencing the sensation while being in the presence of a girl. I've also been taking Zinc, which seems to be helping a bit... a bit odd since when I did my blood sample they didn't notice that? I did a zinc test, which is basically drinking water with zinc in it and seeing if you only taste water, or metallic substances. I ended up just tasting water, which meant I was deficient in zinc.

Anyways I'm definitely on the right path and am loving it.

Cheers!
Somebody.
 
S

Somebody

Member
Today was a great day, I fucked my GF twice. It felt REALLY good for once. The first few times I had tried to have sex with her, I couldn't really feel anything, but this time I could feel every inch as I inserted into her. I've also noticed a size difference. I probably gained another .5 inch and have much greater blood flow.

 
S

Somebody

Member
Hello,

Today is a good day. I'm officially declaring myself cured. The goal was 3 months, but after 2 months I'm able to obtain all my objectives. I'm never going back to porn... but I'm totally going to keep strong with the other activities. Now it's time to start trying to last longer.

So anyone thinking they absolutely need 1 year, you may not be that far long. Try 3 months first. (my reboot started in October, so technically I'm 2.5 months in, don't mind the counter... I reset it after I had sex with my GF, and tbh... it probably helped.)

Thanks everyone for your support, and good luck in your quest!

-Somebody.
 
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