Day 120!
Having hit my overall goal (made up of 15 8-day mini-goals), I no longer have to count days!
This is also 4 months of this recovery effort.
Today I hit my overall goal of 120 days without P, PMO, MO, and with only minimal episodes of P-Subs or edging.
I was able to abstain, all without using support groups (besides RN), accountability partners, 12-Step programs, porn blockers, or porn filters.
Analysis of my 120 Day Abstinence Challenge:
Originally in Reboot Nation I had hit 120 days (Journal: The End of All Flesh) back in March of 2015, six years ago! But the overall goal didn't feel genuine, as at day 75 I began to lapse with P-Subs and edging, and felt my goal was compromised.
But, I hit other lengthy streaks after this, as noted in my page 1.
Before rejoining Reboot Nation, I had been escalating in my porn use in frequency and more hardcore. I also began going for PMO, and not simply P. I was averaging about 1-2x a week, with a continuous feed of P-Subs in between acting out sessions.
I began to count days again, as that helped me to be more focused and serious about quitting. But my results varied, as I averaged about every 8 days, sometimes every 6 days before lapsing. The most I could do was a stint of 34 days back on October 31, 2020. Then, afterward, back down to 6. This was a failed attempt to hit 120 days.
After rejoining Reboot Nation, I had a more earnest and diligent approach. I targeted my social media usage: IG, FB, YT, and deleted entirely Pinterest. I also changed my relationship to the iPhone in general, the habits surrounding it, even if innocent on the surface. These mini-habit changes helped me immensley toward my overall habit change goals.
Mostly, I put it out of my mind, and followed pretty much everything listed in my 16 Principles of Recovery as tried and true methods and mindsets that have helped me gain the most traction. These were hard won strategies gained through literally decades of trial-and-error.
My going for the low hanging fruit strategy of having mini-goals, 120 = 15 x 8, helped me also.
Thoughts and impressions going forward:
My wife and family benefit from a more focused husband and father. My wife and I enjoy more frequent and more intimate sex, and more and more I'm able to focus 'in the moment' without relying on imagination to keep Ol' Willy engaged.
I have more focus on my dreams and goals, and am more excited about my future. I have hopes of fulfilling my dreams of spiritual ministry. I am able to focus on being fruitful in every area of my life.
There is, too, an indescribable joy of being free and unshackled by my former habits and/or addictions. I am no longer obsessive, no longer controlled by the drives of my lower brain. I am no longer keeping this beast in some secret ICU unit of my mind, on a drip-feed of P-subs or edging. Let it die, pull the plug already!
These 120 days have been training. So, this is not the end, but the beginning of a life without P, PMO, MO, P-Subs or Edging. I know how to handle situations. I am keeping my new habits toward phone and pc usage. I can entertain myself through social media, T.V. shows and music, without allowing them to cue me toward urges, or their fulfillment. And, if and when urges do come, I know how to surf these, and dismiss them.
I am excited and ready for a future pregnate with potential, even at my age. And in all vigilance, I aim to protect and deepen this new found lease on life!
Thank you, Gabe Deem, for all that you do (and for your support)!
Blessings, All!
Having hit my overall goal (made up of 15 8-day mini-goals), I no longer have to count days!
This is also 4 months of this recovery effort.
Today I hit my overall goal of 120 days without P, PMO, MO, and with only minimal episodes of P-Subs or edging.
I was able to abstain, all without using support groups (besides RN), accountability partners, 12-Step programs, porn blockers, or porn filters.
Analysis of my 120 Day Abstinence Challenge:
Originally in Reboot Nation I had hit 120 days (Journal: The End of All Flesh) back in March of 2015, six years ago! But the overall goal didn't feel genuine, as at day 75 I began to lapse with P-Subs and edging, and felt my goal was compromised.
But, I hit other lengthy streaks after this, as noted in my page 1.
Before rejoining Reboot Nation, I had been escalating in my porn use in frequency and more hardcore. I also began going for PMO, and not simply P. I was averaging about 1-2x a week, with a continuous feed of P-Subs in between acting out sessions.
I began to count days again, as that helped me to be more focused and serious about quitting. But my results varied, as I averaged about every 8 days, sometimes every 6 days before lapsing. The most I could do was a stint of 34 days back on October 31, 2020. Then, afterward, back down to 6. This was a failed attempt to hit 120 days.
After rejoining Reboot Nation, I had a more earnest and diligent approach. I targeted my social media usage: IG, FB, YT, and deleted entirely Pinterest. I also changed my relationship to the iPhone in general, the habits surrounding it, even if innocent on the surface. These mini-habit changes helped me immensley toward my overall habit change goals.
Mostly, I put it out of my mind, and followed pretty much everything listed in my 16 Principles of Recovery as tried and true methods and mindsets that have helped me gain the most traction. These were hard won strategies gained through literally decades of trial-and-error.
My going for the low hanging fruit strategy of having mini-goals, 120 = 15 x 8, helped me also.
Thoughts and impressions going forward:
My wife and family benefit from a more focused husband and father. My wife and I enjoy more frequent and more intimate sex, and more and more I'm able to focus 'in the moment' without relying on imagination to keep Ol' Willy engaged.
I have more focus on my dreams and goals, and am more excited about my future. I have hopes of fulfilling my dreams of spiritual ministry. I am able to focus on being fruitful in every area of my life.
There is, too, an indescribable joy of being free and unshackled by my former habits and/or addictions. I am no longer obsessive, no longer controlled by the drives of my lower brain. I am no longer keeping this beast in some secret ICU unit of my mind, on a drip-feed of P-subs or edging. Let it die, pull the plug already!
These 120 days have been training. So, this is not the end, but the beginning of a life without P, PMO, MO, P-Subs or Edging. I know how to handle situations. I am keeping my new habits toward phone and pc usage. I can entertain myself through social media, T.V. shows and music, without allowing them to cue me toward urges, or their fulfillment. And, if and when urges do come, I know how to surf these, and dismiss them.
I am excited and ready for a future pregnate with potential, even at my age. And in all vigilance, I aim to protect and deepen this new found lease on life!
Thank you, Gabe Deem, for all that you do (and for your support)!
Blessings, All!