Trying again, this time for good

[thelonebassman]

Some background: I'm 23 and I'm definitely addicted to porn. Been watching since I was 10 or 11. Didn't have any problems until about 3 years ago and realized I had PIED. I had stopped porn while dating one girl, things improved a lot. After we broke up, I got back into it. I started one of these journals a few months ago, and went about a month or so, then slipped. Experienced a lot of triggers all over that reawakened it. Tried to stop a few times since then, but never got too far. I'm going to start updating this regularly to keep myself focused on my goal of stopping use completely. I'm also going to try NoFap, which I had done before, but never got more than a week or so through. Keep fighting on.

 

[obber]

I can totally relate to the dating to a girl and stopping for a while incident - It's a harsh reality that our brains have been conditions after so many uses of P to turn to it even after staying off for a while.

But since you went a whole month before slipping in your last attempt, you've got some experience under your belt! Leverage that and stay strong. You can do this! Good luck to you.

 

[thelonebassman]

Thanks for the encouragement. These first couple of days will be the hardest, but it will get better. I know I can do this, I just have to resist temptation. I'll try to come here every time I feel an urge.

 

[eqftn]

Welcome to the forum
Porn is a destructive force a long term use of it will have a psychological and emotional effect on your brain
It is like a drug your start by watching softcore porn after a couple months you no longer get aroused by it so you upgrade to hardcore porn the more you see this kind of porn you will notice that a women will no longer excite you and you will not get an erection without porn which can later cause problem like erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation
But as you have decided to quit porn , i would like to give you some tips that will help you during your reboot processs
1) remove every bit of porn from your computer
2) install a parental control software on your computer
3) do not touch your penis apart from when you urinate or take a bath
4) do not fantasies about porn
5) do not masturbate without getting a orgasm (edging)
6) workout or walk everyday or take your dog for a walk this will help to fill the void that porn has created in your life
7) be more social, do not avoid any social gatherings or parties spend more time with you friends and family members 
if you feel symptoms such as the following
headaches
tiredness
unable to sleep
depression
social isolation
and mood swings
do not worry about them as they are the withdrawal symptoms of porn that you will experience later in your reboot process
and most importantly try to update your journal at least every week as this will help you to be more focused
I experienced the same when i started my reboot process and as of now i have completed more than two months of NoPMO (No Porn,Masturbation and Orgasm)
you can check it out (Road to 90 days NoPMO)
Good luck for your reboot process

 

[thelonebassman]

Had some temptation the last couple of days, but was able to ignore. Went to a concert with this girl last night, who was staying at my place from out of town. I didn't exactly plan to hook up with her, but it just sorta happened. Of course, the PIED kicks in, but luckily she's cool about it. Ended up having a good night despite that. That definitely served as motivation to keep this up. I need to get normal again.

 

[thelonebassman]

I ended up M'ing. My body felt like it needed it. It really didn't change anything, and I'm regretting doing it. Still, was able to use memories of my own experience with one girl instead of going through a ton of girls, so that's some kind of progress. I split my counter. Now to get back to nofap!

 

[thelonebassman]

Hit my first goal. Definitely had some struggles and weakness. Found myself still wanting to see pictures of pornstars, just not in a pornographic setting. Trying to figure out how my brain works I guess. I never found myself actually want to go over the edge there, but it still was not good. Came close to M'ing a couple times, but stopped myself. I'm already getting my morning wood back some, and I feel more sensitive. Things are improving, just need to keep at it!

 

[obber]

That's awesome that you hit your first milestone. Great job man, keep it up. I'm really proud of you.
Keep going strong. I'm right there with you!

 

[thelonebassman]

Thanks obber, i appreciate it.Rooting for you too!

Here's an update. Went out of town on a trip, and was in the same area as the girl who visited me before. Ended up spending two nights with her. Things were better than expected - had to build myself up manually before I could perform, but I started to get more used to it as things went. Even managed to use a condom for a bit, which has always been a problem. Still had problems losing my erection, but it was still an improvement, and girl understood I was not your average guy. I was able to actually see how much I have progressed, which was nice, and I felt more comfortable overall. So comfortable that I'm considering getting back into dating. I've been holding off for a while to try and better and improve myself. Been losing weight, working through some health issues, etc. Not to mention my addiction to P, which I saw as a major obstacle in dating someone. I didn't want to force that baggage on someone, since that just didn't seem fair. I'm feeling a lot better about it now, though.

My urges have been non-existent the past few days. My sensitivity has also increased significantly. Morning wood is intermittent, and I'm sleeping better. I may enter a flatline here soon. I think it's been deferred since I got laid a couple times in the past couple of weeks (first time since May, so that's nice). No fap is going ok, but we'll see how hard it gets as time goes.

Keep on fighting everybody!

 

[thelonebassman]

I'm having major struggles. These have been the hardest past couple of days. I have come very close to slipping. I've M'd a few times,and find myself going to non-pornographic, yet suggestive sites for pictures (no video). It's pretty tough. I know I'll hate myself if I go back to P, but what I am doing is too similar a mindset. I need to stop myself. When I come back here, and read people's posts, it tends to ground me. I need to do it more often.

 

[CrazyGopher]

Wishing you success and happiness during this difficult time.

I have been in a place similar to that myself. I think it is very dangerous territory, because a part of my mind has already given up. It means that I am barely holding on.

If you want to talk more or need some tips, we are here to help.