Starting over

A

Andúril

Member
Howdy.

This is something I’ve been struggling with all of my twenties. In 2016 I had a 50 day streak and then experienced something that was personally devastating and in my moment of weakness, I relapsed. 5 years later, and I have yet to get back on the wagon. But I need to stop. This addiction is truly ruining my life. I’m 29 now and I don’t want to be this man when I’m in my thirties. I’m also a poster on r/pornfree but I am so easily triggered when I’m on Reddit so I thought it best to post here. Thanks for having me, I hope to change my life for the better. I’m doing this for myself and I’m doing this for my partner. I don’t want to disappoint her. This is day 1.

edit: I want to note that since I am in a relationship I will be having sex on that journey and I’m also not entirely opposed to masturbating occasionally, although I’d really like to cut the frequency down by a lot. The most important thing here is that I am cutting out porn as that is what’s ruining me
 
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A

Andúril

Member
The other night I was having sex with my partner and could maintain maybe an 85% erection. That night I woke up from a dream that I was jerking off to porn and when I did I was completely rock hard. Truly felt pathetic in that moment.
 
Fappy

Fappy

Respected Member
Its good that you are able to get an erection hard enough to plow your partner. Apply the skills and strategies from your previous streak to your current attempt! And dont worry about the dream, it means nothing because you didnt will it to happen. Also Freud says about dreams that "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar..."
 
A

Andúril

Member
Yeah, I can get erections fairly easily. It’s maintaining them that seems to be the problem. Can consistently stay hard during oral but have difficulty during PIV.

Anyways, day 2, checking in. Normally I wake up and the first thing I do is browse porn subreddits. Gotta break that cycle.

I’m debating on whether or not I should check in everyday. Part of my says it’s not good to focus on counting the days but I also feel like checking in holds me a bit more accountable.
 
kadeshzelbriel

kadeshzelbriel

Member
Failure is part of the process. Stay with it. Know the purpose. The return of your sincere intention is more important than anything. "Come, lovers of leaving. Though you have broken your vows 1000 times, come. Ours is no caravan of despair"
 
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