Questions for Anyone

[Kara300]

Hi everyone

 

[Fappy]

Hi everyone,

First of all before I begin I would like to say that I am proud of each and every one of you for doing your best. It must be very hard and a big struggle for you. Know that you are not alone and that I am so proud that you exist and you are on the road to getting better. Although, I am not a porn addict myself, I have a partner who is and I would like to ask some questions to get a better understanding of how to better help and support my partner. So if you could help me by giving me your opinions, I would very much appreciate it!

1. What leads to a relapse? I understand that there are withdrawal effects that may lead someone to a relapse, but does it have something to do with a slip up of control over impulses?

2. What are some helpful things you do to stop yourself from watching porn?

3. If you have a partner/if you did have a partner, what would you like them to do to help you out?

4. My partner has impulses throughout the day to want to masturbate and cope with his stress. These usually lead him to watching porn. What should he do? Should he masturbate without the porn? Should he just ignore the feeling and do something else?

Hi! Thats great that youre trying to understand your partners addiction and help!

1. the things that lead to a relpase are many. but there is usually a trigger. for example, some people who have a habit of watching porn when they are exhausted after work if they have a bad day at work or are tired then that can trigger a slip, or they may see some provacative imagery online like instagram etc, slutty women who feel the need to get their tits and arses out just to get a few Likes are all over social media! another thing is that the brain will make up excuses for you to look at it, its very very sneaky. you might think, oooohh well just one quick look, or ill just look at two videos and stop! or, ive done well today! ill reward myself with a little porn! cant let your guard down on these things.

2. helpful things for me were: identifying triggers. after each relapse (and i relapsed ALOT!) i would take note of what it was that caused it, what the trigger was. that way i could see if sometihng was a trigger, if it was i was able to ignore it and the urge would pass. its a very powerful method.

3. the best thing a partner can do IMO is not to freak out and start saying things like "its the same as cheating!. its not the same as that, it doesnt even come close. understand the problem and how to fix it, thats usually the best.

4. id suggest your partner look for a new stress releif method! masturbating as a way to cope with daily stress just creates unhealthy pathways in the brain. over time you are programmed to react to stress with masturbation, or in the worst case, porn. if he can wank without porn then its fine, but still if it becomes a compulsive behaviour it can lead to more problems. yes, ignoring the feeling and doing something else is best though.