xjonny88x
Member
Day 5.....it's been awhile since I've gotten a streak going. I did a long bike ride yesterday.......my body and I we were not gonna get along. I simply wanted to challenge myself.....well mission accomplished there 
I'm probably not gonna do that long of a ride again but man the fact I even did is a testament to how amazing I am (uh oh should of warned ya with a Cockiness Alert but realized what forum I'm on and that might trigger some. Apologies if that was the case.) Anyway, I've been through this road of staying away from porn and I'm a little less anxious, more energy, positive, etc. These kinds of feelings I want. Long-usage of porn has just made me emotionless. Life is hard and cruel and well sucks and when it does I need an escape ( I think it's safe to say we all do). But after using again and again I feel the same if not worse. What I'm coming to understand in my journey is I need to face those fears, hardships, battles head on. I can't change course and run for the hills and hide. Porn gives you an X amount of time to "escape" and then you're right back where you started.
I think if I can face those fears and when times are tough, I want to simply give those to God and let Him take it from there. It's hard to take time out for Him, but I would like to try because when things are crap, I'm thankful to be alive, to have a job, roof over my head, money to pay for bills and food.
I'm probably not gonna do that long of a ride again but man the fact I even did is a testament to how amazing I am (uh oh should of warned ya with a Cockiness Alert but realized what forum I'm on and that might trigger some. Apologies if that was the case.) Anyway, I've been through this road of staying away from porn and I'm a little less anxious, more energy, positive, etc. These kinds of feelings I want. Long-usage of porn has just made me emotionless. Life is hard and cruel and well sucks and when it does I need an escape ( I think it's safe to say we all do). But after using again and again I feel the same if not worse. What I'm coming to understand in my journey is I need to face those fears, hardships, battles head on. I can't change course and run for the hills and hide. Porn gives you an X amount of time to "escape" and then you're right back where you started.I think if I can face those fears and when times are tough, I want to simply give those to God and let Him take it from there. It's hard to take time out for Him, but I would like to try because when things are crap, I'm thankful to be alive, to have a job, roof over my head, money to pay for bills and food.