Hi, so this is the first time being on this site. I'll give you my back story. I'm 35 years old and have been addicted to porn since I was 21. I got married at 26 and just got divorced a few months ago. For the majority of our marriage I had difficulty getting an erection due to looking at porn and masturbating several times a day. I had a two stints of unemployment so during that time I was probably masturbating 5-6 times a day. Our marriage ended when I found out she was cheating on me. While I don't blame my porn addiction for my marriage failing I do think it played a factor since our sex life was awful. I tried a few times over the summer to quit and always relapsed after 1 or 2 weeks. The last time I looked at porn or masturbated was September 3rd. I am determined to never look again and I feel strong about it. What pushed me to this site though was that I just started a relationship with a girl I'm crazy about and two hours ago we went to have sex for the first and .......well I think you can guess what happened or actually didn't happen. I could barely get an erection and we couldn't have sex. I feel sick right now and am having anxiety attacks. I AM NOT GOING TO RELAPSE but I'm terrified now as our relationship is new and I don't want to tell her we can't have sex for 2-3 months. I went to see a doctor a few months ago about the ED and was given Viagra but didn't take it before this as it kind of just happened. After reading a lot of stories on Your Brain on Porn and this site I understand it's gonna take time but I'm just really worried as I want to have sex with her but I just don't have faith an erection will happen. As much as I'm crazy about her I feel maybe I shouldn't have started dating until my reboot was further along. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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First day on this site. 38 days clean but need help PLEASE READ
- Thread starter mortmac
- Start date
O
OSS
Guest
Not much advice can be given man, no porn and no masturbating are the 2 main things that can be done for PIED.
Besides that, spending time with your girl (anything; kissing, hugging watching movies, holding hands etc) should speed up the process.
If you're already not I'd recommend exercising 30+ mins 4x/week and meditating 20-30 minutes daily. It will help tremendously with your general well being and anxiety. They're great tools if you run into any withdrawals like depression and panic attacks. Besides that exercise will obviously help blood flow and could improve erections. Besides that, cutting out unnecessary internet use can drastically reduce urges I've found
Besides that, spending time with your girl (anything; kissing, hugging watching movies, holding hands etc) should speed up the process.
If you're already not I'd recommend exercising 30+ mins 4x/week and meditating 20-30 minutes daily. It will help tremendously with your general well being and anxiety. They're great tools if you run into any withdrawals like depression and panic attacks. Besides that exercise will obviously help blood flow and could improve erections. Besides that, cutting out unnecessary internet use can drastically reduce urges I've found
rainman001
New Member
ive read several stories on here about some guys who have started seeing a new girl and told them upfront about their addiction to porn and all about p.i.e.d and most of the stories dont turn out to great for the guys. they end up telling the girl to soon and it is a lot to take in for the women and they are not invested enough in the relationship to want to really pursue anything with the guys at that point. that being said, maybe it would be a good thing for you to take it slow with this girl if you are really feeling strong about her. explain to her that you really like her and dont want to screw things up by having sex early in your relationship, alot of girls appreciate that about guys and she will feel that you are more interested in who she is as a person rather then just wanting sex from her. OSS is right, no porn and no masturbation is the most important thing, you need time to heal and that healing may take months and in the mean time if you do start to pursue something with this women then setting the expectation with her that sex is not a part of the deal in the beginning will buy you some time to continue the healing process.